Project

Social Anxiety University By Cheston Chen [[Start]]

It's 8:00 AM on a Monday. You're a college student with social anxiety trying to get through the day. [[Get Up]]

You finally force yourself up. The room is silent. There's nothing but your bed, a desk with your computer, and a cabinet. You're the only one in it. Just the way you like it. [[Check Phone]]

You have a text message coming from your mom. You haven't talked to nor texted her for almost three weeks. (I hope she isn't too mad at me for not reaching out to her.) It says: "CJ, it's been a while since we talked. Call me when you have time to talk." [[Call Mom?]] [[Ignore]]

You decide to call your mom. Your worry of getting yelled at for not calling or texting for a long time quickly diminishes as your mom sounds like she misses you. "Hey, how are you CJ? Are you making some friends in college?" Your feeling of worry quickly comes back. You don't even have any friends. Respond: [["Yes"]] [["No"]]

You decide to ignore her text. [[Morning Routine]]

You respond with the most confident sounding "yes" you can muster. "Oh, what are their names?" asks mom. (Uh oh.) How do you respond? [["Tell The Truth"]] [["Lie"]]

You respond with "no." You feel like everything is going wrong in your life. "Well honey, you know that you need to have friends so you can have people to be with after you graduate. Plus, it can help you with having connections for future careers. I know you struggle a lot when it comes to being social, but please try your best. I apreciate your honesty, though. Please contact me again soon, I have to go now. Love you!" The call ended there. [[Morning Routine]]

"I SHOULD'VE TOLD HER THE TRUTH EARLIER!" you think to yourself. You inform your mother that you actually haven't made any friends. "CJ, you didn't have to lie to me about this! Look, I know you felt like you couldn't fit in when you moved into your dorm a few weeks ago, but you couldn't make a friend with someone living in your building? Look, I think it's best for you to talk to a school counselor or therapist. They can help you at times like these. Anyway, I have to go now, so talk to you again soon. Love you!" With that, the phone conversation ended. [[Morning Routine]]

You tel your mom that your friends' names are Ian and Ricardo. "Okay, well that's great that you met some new friends. Please make sure to stay out of trouble and if you ever find yourself struggling, talk to a school counselor or therapist. I love you, CJ! Call or text me soon!" With that, the phone conversation ended. [[Morning Routine]]

You get to your morning routine. You brush your teeth. You get dressed. Now you're ready to go out into the world where you assume everyone hates you, even though you know that's not true, but you still can't stop thinking that for some reason. [[Go To Cafeteria]]

Since you have some time before you need to be in class, you go to the cafeteria and get your food. You decide to sit down at an empty table. A few tables around you have groups of people talking with each other. Scrambled eggs again. Can't they ever serve something else for breakfast? As you're eating, you hear one of the groups talking about one of your favorite video games you're playing at the moment, Celeste. [[Join In On Their Conversation]] [[Keep To Yourself]]

You muster up the courage after several seconds of hesitation and mention that you also enjoy that game they're talking about. "Oh cool." says one of the group members. "How skilled at the game do you think you are?" asks another member. You've been actively trying your hand in speedrunning the game and are pretty decent at it; so you tell them that you're good enough to be an average speedrunner in Celeste. They all look impressed about that. "I'm Antonio, that's Ryan and Alyssa." [[Ask To Be Friends]] [[Leave The Conversation]]

You decide to keep quiet. Even though those people were talking about one of your favorite games, Celeste, you couldn't bring yourself to talk to them. You really feel like you could've been part of the group if you had spoken to them. You quickly finish up your breakfast and leave so you can stop the feeling of regret sooner. [[Go To Class]]

You ask them if they want to include you within their group. "Sure, we wouldn't mind having more people hanging out. We'll add you on whatever social media you've got." You give them your username for Instagram and they all add you. They're your first social media friends. "We'll message you in case you ever wanna hang out," says Antonio. "Thanks!" you reply, feeling less lonely knowing you won't be all by yourself in college. [[Next]]

Not wanting to go any further in the conversation you tell them that you have to go. "Alright, man. Good luck out there and good luck at speedrunning ther game, we hope you become one of the best at the game!" exclaims Antonio. You really appreciated that comment. As you leave the cafeteria, you can't stop feeling like you could've been friends with them. [[Go To Class]]

"Anyway, we have to get to class in 15 minutes, see you some other time!" They gather their things and leave. You feel a burst of adrenaline you've never really felt before. What is this feeling? Happiness, relief, excitement? You've spent most of your life keeping to yourself and the first time you reach out to people, you feel different all of a sudden. [[Get To Class]]

Class goes on as usual. It's a bit boring, but tolerable. The professor, all of a sudden, tells the class to talk to a person next to you for a partner discussion. You're caught off-gaurd. He never had the class do this before! You look at the seats next to you. It's empty until the end of the row. You really don't want to move to the end of the row to talk to that one person. [[Move Down The Row]] [[Stay There]]

Class goes on as usual. It's a bit boring, but tolerable. The professor, all of a sudden, tells the class to talk to a person next to you about the discussion he led. You look at the seats next to you. It's empty until the end of the row where ther's one person who's also lacking of a partner. Since you talked to the group in the cafeteria, you feel more confident and decide on your own to go over and discuss with that person. [[Talk To Them]]

You decide that since you don't wanna look awkward being alone during a partner discussion, you move down the row to talk with the person. "Oh hello," the person says as you walk over to them. "I'm James, by the way," he says. "Oh, um, My name's CJ," you reply. "Nice to meet you," James replies. You spend the next few minutes going over the lecture and discuss what was taught. At the end of the partner discussion, he looks like he appreciates you for talking with him since he didn't have a partner. [[Ask For Friendship]] [[Go Back To Your Original Seat]]

You decide that you don't want to deal with talking to anyone, so you stay where you are. You notice the professor looking around the lecture room and spotting you not having a discussion with anyone. He just looks at you for a few seconds and doesn't say anything. That was extremely awkward. You feel embarassed. A few minutes pass by and the partner discussion is over and class goes on as usual. [[End Of Class]]

"Oh hello," the person says as you walk over to them. "I'm James, by the way," he says. You reply with your name. "My name's CJ." "Nice to meet you," James replies. You spend the next few minutes going over the lecture and discuss what was taught. At the end of the partner discussion, he looks like he appreciates you for talking with him since he didn't have a partner. [[Ask To Be His Friend]] [[Go Back To Your Seat]]

"Well thank you for being my partner," you tell him. You get back to your seat and continue listening to the lecture. [[The Class Ends]]

You get a feeling that you would want to be friends with James. "Do you wanna be friends?" you ask him. "Sure!" James replies. You give him your Instagram username and continue watching the lecture next to James. [[Class Ends]]

You get a feeling that you would like to be friends with James since you don't have any. One friend would be a good start, right? "Um, Do you wanna be friends with me?" you ask him. "Sure thing!" James replies. "I can add you on whatever social media you use." You give him your Instagram username and continue watching the lecture next to James. This is your first actual friend on social media. You feel more relaxed and relieved for some reason. Is this how making friends feels like? [[Class Is Ending]]

"Thank you for being my partner," says James. You walk back to your seat and continue watching the lecture until the end of class. [[End Of Class]]

Class is ending and you go back to your dorm room. You made no friends today. You really had the chance to, but it was too overwhelming. You know that you can talk to a therapist, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. You end up going through college with the occasional person to talk to, but you don't gain any friends in the process.

Class is ending and you go back to your dorm room. You made four new friends today, maybe you shouldn't doubt yourself when it comes to friends after all. You end up having a great time in college because of your friend group. It also made you open up more to others around you.

Class is ending and you go back to your dorm room. You made three new friends today. You could've made one more, but three is enough. Making friends seems easier than you thought. You'll get through college just fine with this group.

Class is ending and you go back to your dorm room. You made one friend today, that's one more than you've ever made in most of your life. You later learn that James doesn't have many friends and also prefers to keep to himself. This made your friendship continue on smoothly through college.