"When I'm coming down, the light's real bright
and the noise rings in my head
did I let you down again?"
(align: "==><==")[-Gustav Ahr]
(css: "color:red;")[
CONTENT WARNING: REFERENCES TO DRUGS, DRUG USE, REFERENCES TO SUICIDE, AND REFERENCES TO ANXIETY]
if you would still like to continue, go on ahead and:
[[Start->Passing Out]]
or
[[Check out my changes since the draft -> Changes]]Sometimes, you wished you could be dead, other times, the idea of leaving forever crossed your broken mind.
Your eyes are focused on the light, bright and blurry, fading away with each passing second.
Confusion sets in. You feel out of control, not like any other time you had messed with--
Slowly, you lose control. Your vision starts spiraling and your ears are punctured by a loud ring; everything slows down and fades until you faint.
[[... ...->Wake Up!]]You didn't have time to wake up, it was like in an instant you had snapped into consciousness.
you stare down at your hands, legs, and feet. All of them are intact; you could feel them. You lift your head and stare straight ahead.
There is something very unsettling about this.
A long narrow passageway lay ahead, dimly lit with a flickering bulb. The wallpaper on the walls is torn and worn down. The walls are damaged with holes, exposing the wooden studs of the wall's frame.
a bright light is visible, off in the distance, maybe at the end of the passageway. It peaks your curiosity.
[[Walk toward the light->Toward the Doors]]before you can walk a great distance, you stumble upon two doors, one on your left, the other to your right, both right across from each other. The bright light is still off in the distance, bright as ever.
There is a sign between the two doors:
Read the Sign
(click-replace: "Read the Sign")["You should be dead now, you unkowningly took a laced drug that resulted in an overdose, but I think you're worth giving a second shot.
You felt sometimes like dying was the best way to escape the pain, but you knew better than to leave others in pain for you. You only used drugs as a way to escape, as a way to die without dying.
Step through the doors to recollect some of your memories. Avoid hurting yourself for a chance to get back to life. If both parts of your soul are ripped out, you die for good."]
One Door is labled: [["medicaménta utíliter"->Drugs]]
The other door is labled: [["tragicus, amoris"->Tragic Love]]
You coooouuuuld step through a door, or you can keep chasing the [[light->Light]]A lake. A cabin. A dock.
At the end of the dock near the water is a woman, wearing an all black dress, sitting down and letting the water bathe her feet.
You stand on the ground at the other end of the dock. A beautiful orange sunset floods the sky. The water reflects it. It looks so damn beautiful.
[[Walk toward the woman -> To the woman]]
[[Stay put, it looks weird -> Stay put]]The light is hypnotizing, hypnotizing enough that you decide to chase it. You keep walking down the passageway toward the light. With each step that you take, you can feel the temperature beginning to drop.
Standing about 50 feet from the light, you begin to hear indistinct whispers coming from the light. The light is calling you... or is it?
[[Let me turn back, this is weird ->Back to Doors]]
[[I feel the light calling me ->To the Light]]It was really addicting. Most importantly, it filled a void that had been there forever.
In a room full of of people, you still felt lonely and ignored.
Your anxiety was through the roof, to the point where you couldn't function normally.
It took you out of it. It was like dying, but you were still alive.
You lay in bed as the xan kicked in. Instantly you fade and knock out.
[[Wake up!->Wakey wakey]]
There is a sign between the two doors:
Read the Sign
(click-replace: "Read the Sign")["You should be dead now, you unkowningly took a laced drug that resulted in an overdose, but I think you're worth giving a second shot.
You felt sometimes like dying was the best way to escape the pain, but you knew better than to leave others in pain for you. You only used drugs as a way to escape, as a way to die without dying.
Step through the doors to recollect some of your memories. Avoid hurting yourself for a chance to get back to life. If both parts of your soul are ripped out, you die for good."]
One Door is labled [["medicaménta utíliter"->Drugs]]
The other door is labled [["tragicus, amoris"->Tragic Love]]
You coooouuuuld step through a door, or you can keep chasing the [[light ->Light]]You step carefully, and slowly toward the light. Not only is it getting colder, now with each step you take, the pressure around you gets heavier.
The pressure starts to push up against your skin, making you feel like you're being compacted and making you lose your breath, slowly.
about 10 feet away from the light, you fall to your knees, dizzy and confused. You gasp for air, yet you can't seem to get any.
The [[flashbacks->Flashbacks]] beginYou disconnect from your body, a white flash of light fills your vision before you begin the visions start.
(css: "color: red;")[You see yourself walk into the bus after the show...]
(css: "color: red;")[the pill in your hand...]
(css: "color: red;")[You take the seat farthest back...]
(css: "color: red;")[You pop the pill...]
(css: "color: red;")["This ought to do it"...]
(css: "color: red;")[You start to suffocate...]
(css: "color: red;")[You feel trapped...]
[[Make it stop!->Tap Back In]]You tap back in to your body.
... ...(css: "color:black;")[
You remember now.(click-replace: "You remember now.") [You popped that xanax pill. It must have been laced with something because it sent you spiraling almost instantly. You were fainting, feeling all blurry and losing control of yourself. You realize that you died, but you are here for a second chance.
Maybe the light will give you a chance to escape the mess of a life you lead though.]
]
... ...
You hear the light call out to you: "come on, this is what you've wanted for so long"
It's tempting. You can [[go back->Go Back]] and save yourself, or you could just [[never return->THE END LIGHT]].Still on the floor and on your knees, you gather up all of your strength to boost yourself up. You are able to stand up, but you have expanded alot of energy.
You trudge back, trying to go back to the doors. Maybe it is worth it to go back for a second chance. A chance to set things right.
The farther you walk back, the less pressure you feel. The temerpature starts to normalize too.
[[Continue walking -> Keep Going]]With the last bit of strength you have, you get up. You feel that it is too late to save yourself. Maybe after all, going away forever is what you wanted best.
You take a couple steps and put your arm out to the light. You feel yourself start fading in to it. In an instant, you fade away completely in to the light.
Your mind is cleared of all the burden and all the pain that you ever faced. Maybe this is where you belong, dead.
(align: "==><==")[THE END.]You feel stable now. The sign is in sight and you can see a clear outline of the two doors facing each other. You [[continue walking over to the sign. ->Back to Doors]] This game has two flashback/ memory doors you can step through. In the draft I had three. What I realized was that I had two really weak branches, so I replaced them with one branch that tied in to one of the theme words.
The branches were expanded in content, most decisions are still binary though. The only three way decision you get is at the beginning of the doors.
The Lily color of the game contrasts the dark themes. It is a refresher and kind of takes you out of it while still being in it.
I replaced a lot of the "... ..." transitions I had because someone who peer reviewed it said it would make the game better. (they liked the strong themes too.
I also restructured the whole story. There are two parallel endings that can result from the situation at the beginning and they both fit in to the situation.
I left the beginning scene where the character faints really broad so that it could apply to both endings.You don't get it! Just a while ago you were fine. Maybe you started to feel out of the ordinary, but surely you aren't dead if you are here and you can feel yourself right???
Despite the mystery, you decide to keep walking.
[[Keep Walking ->The Doors]] You wake up. you look over at the clock, it reads: (link-replace: "time")[(css: "color: black;")[3:00 pm]]
Your tour manager is knocking on the door.
[[Open the door -> Open the Door]]You walk over to the door and open it.
Your tour manager greets you with:
"What happened!!! you were supposed to be on the bus at 2:50 pm. We're going to be late by the time that you get ready. Come on, you're having your show at 5 pm!"
You quickly get ready and exit your hotel room by 3:15 pm.
[[Leave the hotel -> Tour Bus]]You see your tour bus outside the hotel.
You approach it. The rest of the gang is already inside, waiting for you to join.
As you walk in, one of your buddies puts his hand out toward you. In his hand: a sheet of acid.
[["Oh nah man, I'm good" -> Don't Take It]]
[["For sure dawg, thanks" -> Take It]]"Man come on, don't be lame, take it"
[["Nah man for real, I can't" -> For Sure No]]
[["Man, alright I'll take it" -> Take It]]You take the Acid.
You walk all the way to the back of the bus where you always sit.
You're feeling anxious about the show and having to perform. This is the first venue that you completely sold out.
You look down at your hand. Acid in hand, you have a choice to make.
Do you take the Acid [[right now -> Take Right Now]], or do you [[save it for later -> Save For Later]]You don't take the Acid.
You walk toward the back of the tour bus, where you always sit.
You still feel pretty foggy from last night. It was probably better for you not to take it.
The bus starts up and you guys start to head to the venue where you'll perform.
[[To the venue -> At the Venue]]You've been really anxious, it is probably better for you to take yourself out with the Acid before the show.
You take a square off of the sheet and put it on your tongue.
You get a strange feeling, like a piece of your soul was ripped off of you at the instant. Weird.
You don't even notice that the bus has taken off to the venue already.
[[To the venue -> At the Venue 2]]You place the Acid on the seat next to you. You figure you can tap in to it later if you feel that you absolutely need it to take your mind off of the day.
The tour bus takes off from the hotel and you all head toward the venue.
[[To the venue -> At the Venue]]When you arrive at the venue, you all get off.
There is a long line that stretches at least two blocks around the corner just to get in to the venue.
You feel a little overwhelmed by the amount of people that will be there later.
All of you head inside to hang out and get ready for the show.
[[In to the venue -> In the Venue]]When the bus arrives at the venue, Everything feels like a blur. You hop out of the bus with tunnel vision.
You don't pay attention to anything or anyone around you.
You and your group head inside of the venue to get ready for the performance later.
[[In to the venue -> High in Venue]]Preparation time goes by fast. Before you know it, it is already 5 pm. The show is about to start any minute now as you make your way up to the stage.
You walk toward the stage, anxious as ever.
You wait for them to start playing the intro to the first track before you walk out.
Your tour manager grabs you and leads you up to the stage entrance where you wait patiently.
You hear the music. this is your cue.
[[Head on to the stage -> On the Stage]]Preparation time feels like a blur. Of course it does since you are completely out of it.
It is 5 pm, right on the dot. It is time for you to make your entrance onto the stage.
You are waiting on the intro to the first song to play, but you are so out of it that your manager has to push you on to the stage entrance.
You go up the steps to the stage slowly and methodically. Everything is blurry.
[[Head on to the Stage -> On the Stage High]]You make your way onto the stage and immediately start performing. The crowd is vibing off of your energy and so are you off of theirs.
your homies are on stage as well, hyping up the crowd. Some of them are featured on your songs, so they take turns performing with you.
You get caught up in the moment and time flies by. Song after song, moment after moment, time feels like it is going by faster than ever.
[[Keep up the energy -> End of Concert]]You make it on to the stage. You've performed high like this before, so you feel like you can keep it together.
The crowd starts to vibe off of you and you start vibing off of them.
Your bros are on the stage with you, performing with you when they are featured on a song.
You feel so out of it. Everything looks like it is zooming past you and swaying side to side.
[[Keep performing -> Blurry Concert End]]Before you know it, it is 7pm and the show is closing up.
You give your fans one more song before you have nothing else left in your tank.
The two minutes that the song lasts are the longest two minutes you feel.
When it is all over, you head back stage and get ready to meet all of the people that will be waiting for you outside.
[[Get ready to meet the fans -> Go outside]]Before you know it, everything zooms by. It is 7 pm and the final song starts playing.
You pick up the tempo and give your fans everything you have for the last one.
As soon as the song is over, you sit down on the floor and try to gather yourself. This was extremely exhausting for you.
As soon as you are able to get up, you go to the back to get ready to meet the people waiting for you outside.
[[Go get ready to go outside -> Go Outside High]]
It is time to leave the venue, so you gather everything up and yourself and you head outside from the back.
You're greeted by atleast 100 fans outside, waiting to take pictures with you.
As you start to near the end of meeting them all, one fan asks for a picture and reaches out to you. She shows you her hand.
In her hand is a xan. You usually take drugs from your fans because it is one of the things that they like to gift you.
[[Take the pill -> Took the Xan]]
[[Refuse to take the pill -> Don't take the Xan]]Still a little faded, you go outside through the back and are greeted by close to 100 fans.
They are all eager to meet you, take photographs, and get signatures.
You get to it.
As you get close to finishing, one fan approaches you and asks for a picture. Afterwards, they extend their hand out to you to reveal a xan in their hand. You normally take drugs from your fans, it's just something you've made a habit of doing after shows for a while.
[[Take the pill from them -> Took the Xan 2]]
[[Don't take the pill -> Don't take the Xan]]You take the xan from the fan.
You had a pretty good day, but you are tired and you want a way to escape and relax faster.
You start to head toward the tour bus.
[[Head in to the bus -> Bus with Xan]]
You refuse to take the pill. It just didn't feel right for today. You felt like you actually had a pretty good day and had a chance to see some of your fans!
You start to make your way toward the tour bus to head out.
[[Head in to the bus -> Bus no Xan]]You walk toward the back of the bus with the xan in hand.
You take a seat in the back and put your head back on the seat.
You look down at your hand, the xan in hand.
Do you [[take the xan -> NEXT PASSAGE]] or do you put it in your bag and [[save it -> Hot flash of light]]Still pretty messed up from the Acid from earlier, you take the xan from the fan.
Maybe the xan can help knock you out for the night.
[[Head into the bus -> Bus Faded with Xan]]You hop onto the bus. You head to the back of the bus and sit down. You rest your head on the back rest of the seat.
In an instant a hot flash of white light hits your eyes.
You start to [[wake up -> Wake Up END]]You walk toward the back of the bus with the xan in hand.
You take a seat in the back and put your head back on the seat.
You look down at your hand, xan in hand.
Do you [[take the xan ->DRUGS END]] or do you put it in your bag and [[save it -> Hot flash of light]]Slowly, you begin to open your eyes. As you open them, you realize that you are on the bus, in the same exact position you were in before the hot flash of light.
You realize what had happened.
The moment before you entered the raggedy passageway was the moment you were losing control of yourself and passed away in the bus after taking the xanax. It was the moment you were dying for good. The xanax must have been laced and made you overdose.
You played through the memories in the passageway and didn't take the xanax this time though, so you were returned to life for a second chance.
(align: "==><==")[THE END]You take the xan.
Instantly you feel something weird. A part of your soul is ripped out of you. A hot flash of white fills your vision.
You hear: "This isn't over yet" and in an instant, you are transported back to the other door in the passageway.
With no other option and with no control over your body, you reach out to the door, open it, and you are instantly transported in to the next memory.
[[Step in to the next memory ->Tragic Love]]You pop the xan.
Instantly, you get another weird feeling like when you took the Acid. Another part of your soul got ripped out of you.
You feel a hot white flash of light fill your eyes.
[[Continue -> DRUGS END OF]]A hot flash of white light fills your vision.
You begin to [[wake up -> Wake Up END]]You walk up the dock. The sound of the rocking water in the lake is soothing, but the woman leaves you uncertain.
You want to see who it is or what she is doing here.
As you step closer, you can hear her whispering off something under her breath
You are standing right behind her. You decide to [[tap her shoulder -> tap her]]You stay put. The mystery of this woman gives you curiosity, but it isn't enough to send you after her.
In an instant, you see her turn around and stare into your eyes. She gets up, turns her body toward you, and begins to walk.
As she gets closer, her face becomes blurry. Her face is unlike anything you've ever seen before.
She keeps approaching you until she is 2 feet away from you.
[[... ... -> tap you]]You tap her shoulder. She turns around.
You have never seen a face like hers before. It was blurry and unrecognizable.
You start to tremor at her sight. She stands up. She is just two feet apart from you.
[[... ... -> tap you]]She mouths out to you in a creepy voice: "I can show you even more misery"
She reaches out with her hand and places it on top of your head.
Your eyes turn white and your vision turns black. your vision is filled with a portal looking vortex that leads to a single end point.
She moves your mind through the vortex; you appear on the other side.
[[... ... -> Other side]]You see yourself at your house in the third person, in your room with your girlfriend.
There is something unpleasant in the air. You had just gotten back from hanging out with one of your friends. You realize this is the time you both fought over your drug usage. before you could see anymore, your mind is snapped into the memory.
[[Continue -> Fight with gf]]"Really?!?! So you aren't going to tell me what this is??? I found these under your pillow right now that I grabbed it to rest my head on it. This is ridiculous"
[["It isn't what it looks like, just let me explain" -> Let me explain]]
"No! You know how I feel about you using any types of drugs. You know that I struggled with them myself for a really long time. This isn't okay!!"
[["Look, I know, and I am really sorry. I can explain" -> Explain?]]"Sorry??? No I don't know about being sorry. You shouldn't have to be sorry because you shouldn't have used pills in the first place. But go ahead, explain. Let it out"
[["I've been dealing with anxiety issues, I think my disorder is acting up again" -> Anxiety Disorder]]"You know that you could have just talked to me about it so that we could get you some help. You didn't have to betray me and our relationship like that"
You start feeling your anxiety flare up.
[["You know what, I don't care. They make me feel better!" -> feel better]]"Fine then. I'm walking out on you. You never were worth it anyways. I can't be with a drug junkie like you if you won't decide to do better for yourself."
She walks out on you.
[[Continue -> Stay]]You decide not to chase after her.
In a fit of fury, you think: "These drugs have helped me more than she ever has."
In the moment, you feel a strange feeling. A piece of your soul is ripped straight out of you.
you reach into your pocket. The xanax pill that your friend gave you earlier when you guys were hanging out is in your pocket.
you pull it out.
[[Take the xan -> Pop it]]
[["Maybe I should text her, I feel kind of bad" -> text her]]You instantly snap back in to the moment. You are sitting in your bed and you realize that you woke back up.
You remember the passageway, you remember the moments before the passageway:
It was that moment when you were losing control of yourself and fainting because you messed with a xanax. You were seeing blurry lights and hearing a loud sound puncturing your ears.
Where you are sitting now was that moment all along, except, it had gone wrong and you actually took the laced xanax and died.
As promised by the being who wrote on that sign in the passageway, however, you gained a second chance, by stepping through your memory and correcting the wrong.
(align: "==><==")[THE END]You pop the xanax pill.
Something about this doesn't feel right though. You get another strange feeling inside of you. Another piece of your soul is ripped off.
you see a hot flash of white light and you are instantly snapped out of your body.
[[Continue -> THE END pop]]Sitting in your bed, you think about what just happened. Maybe you didn't mean to say all of that.
You think that maybe you were just really angry and you really wouldn't want to see her leave you like that.
You decide you should text her:
[["Hey, I'm sorry I exploded on you like that. I been in a state of weakness lately. I'm not myself" -> Text]] "Yeah, I know. Look, I might have been a little rude to you too. I know first hand what this stuff can do to you. Maybe we can talk this over better"
[["Yeah sure, meet up for coffee tomorrow?" -> coffee?]]You have lost both parts of your soul. Your mind snaps out of the memory.
In an instant, your mind is transported to a dark realm. All you see is darkness for miles ahead. You hear loud thunder coming down onto the ground and strong gusts of wind begin to sweep you.
You feel tormented in your head. The moment that you took the xan on your bed and passed away is replayed over and over.
You see the blurring lights, you can hear the loud ring puncturing your ears, you can feel yourself losing control of yourself. OVER and OVER and OVER.
You are stuck in a conscious state of being dead forever.
(align: "==><==") [THE END]You have lost both parts of your soul. Your mind snaps out of the memory.
In an instant, you are transported to a dark realm. All you see is darkness for miles ahead. You hear loud thunder coming down onto the ground and strong gusts of wind begin to sweep you.
You feel tormented in your head. The moment that you took the xan in the back of the bus and passed away is replayed over and over.
You see the blurring lights, you can hear the loud ring puncturing your ears, you can feel yourself losing control of yourself. OVER and OVER and OVER.
You are stuck in a conscious state of being dead forever.
(align: "==><==") [THE END]"Yeah, sounds good. Meet me at Sal's at 12 pm"
You end the day on a good note. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
You place the xanax that you had just pulled out of the pockets of your pants back into your pants.
You leave it in there, get into your pajamas, and get ready to go to sleep.
[[The next day -> Coffee next day]]
You wake up the next day. The clock reads: (link-replace: "time")[(css: "color: black;")[9:00 am]]
You could sleep for a couple more hours before you go, since you're tired from yesterday, or you could wake up and start your day off.
[[Sleep in a little more -> Sleep in]]
[[Nah, it's time to get up -> Get up]]You decide to sleep in.
[[ZZZ ZZZ -> Late omg]]You get up, brush your teeth, and make yourself a light breakfast.
You get dressed in a new pair of pants and a different shirt.
You wait for the time to get close to 12 pm to go meet up with your girl.
[[Wait... -> 12pm finally]]You wake up again. You check the clock. The time reads: (link-replace: "time")[(css: "color: black;")[11:50 am
OMG! you're going to be late to meet your girl!]]
You brush your teeth real quick and use the restroom. You go back to your room.
You see the same pair of pants that you had on yesterday.
[[Put on the pair from yesterday? -> Yesterday pair]]
[[Choose a new pair -> new pair]]
You arrive 10 minutes late to the cafe. She doesn't really seem to mind though.
You guys talk your issues over some coffee.
You both agree that maybe reaching out for help is the best option for you. Those pills are going to destroy you eventually and it would probably be best to stop.
After you both are done, you take the check and make sure that you are the one paying.
You reach into your pocket for your wallet and out slips the xanax pill. It falls onto the floor and she notices it.
[[Try to play it off -> How could you]]
[[Explain why it was there -> No trust]]It is 11:30 am. you decide to start making your way over to the cafe
[[Go to cafe -> At Cafe 2]]You arrive at the cafe 10 minutes early. She is already there.
You guys talk your issues over some coffee.
You both agree that maybe reaching out for help is the best option for you. Those pills are going to destroy you eventually and it would probably be best to stop.
After you both are done, you take the check and make sure that you are the one paying.
You guys say your goodbyes and you [[head on home -> home 2]]You try to act like that didn't fall out of your pocket, but it did.
She grows angry at the sight of the pill:
"How could you? We just agreed that you should be getting help and you are still carrying that around???"
[["No look, I can explain" -> Explain]]
[[Remain silent -> silent]]You tell her that it is the pill that your friend gave you yesterday. You explain to her that you had woken up late and you put on the pants nearest to you. You never had intentions of popping it.
She begins to get upset.
"No, you know what, this isn't going to work. I think that it's best you just go back to your pills since they are more important to you than me"
At that moment, another piece of your soul is snatched away from you. You feel it.
You also feel a hot white flash of light fill your eyes.
[[... ... -> END WRONG]]You tell her that it is the pill that your friend gave you yesterday. You explain to her that you had woken up late and you put on the pants nearest to you. You never had intentions of popping it.
She begins to get upset.
"No, you know what, this isn't going to work. I think that it's best you just go back to your pills since they are more important to you than me"
At that moment, another piece of your soul is snatched away from you. You feel it.
You also feel a hot white flash of light fill your eyes.
[[... ... -> END WRONG]]You stay silent.
She gets even more infuriated:
"No, you know what, it is over. That is it. Go get help on your own, but don't ever come back to me"
She gets up and leaves. You can't even believe what just happened. You pick up the pill and put it in your pocket.
You start [[heading home -> Home]]. Once you get home you go in to your room, lock the door, and cry. You reach into your pocket.
There it is, the xanax. You decide to take it, either way, it's over.
[[Take the xanx -> Pop it]]Once home, you go straight to your room. You notice your pants from yesterday and remember that the xanax is in there. You reach in and grab it.
You throw away the xanax pill in the trash and sit down on your bed.
Almost instantly, you feel a hot flash of white light fill your eyes.
[[Continue -> END TRAGIC]]You have lost both parts of your soul. Your mind snaps out of the memory.
In an instant, your mind is transported to a dark realm. All you see is darkness for miles ahead. You hear loud thunder coming down onto the ground and strong gusts of wind begin to sweep you.
You feel tormented in your head. The moment that you took the xan on your bed and passed away is replayed over and over.
You see the blurring lights, you can hear the loud ring puncturing your ears, you can feel yourself losing control of yourself. OVER and OVER and OVER.
You are stuck in a conscious state of being dead forever.
(align: "==><==") [THE END]You put on the pair of pants from yesterday.
By the time that you choose a shirt to put on, it is 11:58 am and you need to hurry to the cafe!
[[Hurry over to the cafe! -> At Cafe]]You decide to put on a different pair of pants than the ones you used yesterday.
By the time you choose a shirt to put on, it is 11:58 am. You need to hurry to the cafe!
[[Hurry over to the cafe! -> At Cafe 3]]You arrive 10 minutes late to the cafe. She doesn't really seem to mind though.
You guys talk your issues over some coffee.
You both agree that maybe reaching out for help is the best option for you. Those pills are going to destroy you eventually and it would probably be best to stop.
After you both are done, you take the check and make sure that you are the one paying.
You guys say your goodbyes and you [[head on home -> home 2]]