As a college student, you spent most of your time taking lectures in class, doing homework at home or in the school library. When you have free time, you are likely to play some games or watch a movie to relax from the stress of the overstacked homework or personal life that you feel solitary of living without many friends.
You don't have much social life. This is mainly due to the fact that you are naturally introvert and shy and have very little communication and social skill to make new friends, especially that you are a foreigner to this country, so you spend most of your time studying and relaxing.
Nevertheless, you've been going to a church every Friday, and you made some friends there. It's a Christian church, You enjoy going there and do believe little in God, though not a hard believer.
[[//Continue...//|Introduction 2]]Sometimes you wonder about love and relationship. You wonder what is it feels like when you are in love and what is love. You are 25. You are anxious about your future that if you'll ever know how is falling in love with someone feels like.
You have a unique personality trait that you are very aware of the people around you and you are sensitive at acknowledging their facial expressions and emotions.
You are full of curiosity about people and desperately curious about what's romantic love, especially of this age, 25. You have some friends here in church, but most of the friends you meet are either not interested, or don't have a good opportunity of getting closer to them.
You tried to overcome your natural personality and tried to socialize and know more people, but it's almost as if you are destined for being lonely because people you met are too different. You wondered deeply if destiny is in your hands, or if it's already predestined by God.
[[//"You believe Destiny in your Hands"//|Introduction 3.1]]
[[//"You believe destiny is in God's hands that people are destined to becoming who they are, and they have very little control of it."//|Introduction 3.1]]And as usual, you are always thinking and a little depressing. You are always depressing that you feel like something is always missing and you are always lonely, even when those friends who you know are around. It's been more than 5 years you came to this place, at this point, you are nearly giving up of changing your depressing situation, sometimes you wonder if you'll ever know what's love in your lifetime, or real friendship that you once had from your mother country.
It appears that sometimes some people leave and come here by chance. Some may stay for a little while and leave, like a few years, and some may stay very short, like several weeks. And you believe one day you may leave too. At this point, you are not surprised by seeing any new people coming or old people leaving.
[[//Continue..//|Seeing Her 2]]You saw two new faces, they are friends with each other who are coming together, they got smiling faces, looking super happy and lively open, you noticed the way how they smile, it reminds you of the mischievous and naughty high school girls.
They are funny, it reminds you of cute people, but you know they are not very fit for making friends with, especially they are just some high school kids that you know from your experience.
Coincidently, they came straight forward to you, and just keep smiling and making little laughing noises, as if they are actually into you or something. Your face burns red.
[[>Say Hi to them!!<|Seeing Her 3.1]]
[[>Keep Calm.<|Seeing Her 3.2]]They laughed at you little and said hi back, then they picked up their seat next to you and delightfully started the fellowship games...
This doesn't make you feel very normal and comfortable because you are not as open as they are and didn't know how to respond or even communicate with their personality.
You felt a little nervous because of their high enthusiasm that such an incident had never happened before. It's almost as of the likely hood of a big car accident in your lifetime.
But you thought it's not a big thing, they are just naughty high school kids who are different from every aspect of you because you are always not very happy, calm and depressing, and you are not as naughty as one of them.
[[>Calmly spent the rest of the fellowship as usual.<|Seeing Her 4]]
[[>Try to talk to them a little and spent the rest of the fellowship as usual.<|Seeing Her 4.1]]They seemed to be a little disappointed, but that doesn't stop them at laughing at you as if they actually like you, then they picked up their seat next to you and started the fellowship games..
This doesn't make you feel very normal and comfortable because you are not as open as they are and didn't know how to respond or even communicate with their personality.
You felt a little nervous because of their high enthusiasm that such an incident had never happened before. It's almost as of the likely hood of a big car accident in your lifetime.
But you thought it's not a big thing, they are just naughty high school kids who are different from every aspect of you because you are always not very happy, calm and depressing, and you are not as naughty as one of them.
[[>Calmly spent the rest of the fellowship as usual.<|Seeing Her 4]]
[[>Try to talk to them a little and spent the rest of the fellowship as usual.<|Seeing Her 4.1]]While you are trying to ignore them and keep calm, they still talked to you a little. You calmly managed to answer their enthusiastic questions and realize the difference and age gap between them and you. You don't find this communication very easy because you've never communicated much with young attractive high school girls.
You played little games, read some bible, and listened to some personal speeches, thoughts and life events until nearly 10 pm. Then you had little snacks with them as usual. It's just another usual and normal Friday. And as depressed as usual, nothing special, though you are not all that depressed because at least you are doing something without being isolated at home doing nothing.
After all this fellowship, it's nearly 11 pm, so you [[//drive back home.//|Home]]Hey! It's Friday!
This means you are going to the church today. But first, you got to play basketball in the afternoon in church before the Christian Fellowship. Honestly, you are not a basketball fan, you are playing for exercise.
You played hard, and after nearly 4 hours of basketball, you felt so tired that you need some rest.
At the same time, your basketball friends are deciding on going to a nearby restaurant. You are wondering if you should go with them, but you are not very hungry, besides, you are not sure if they mind or like going with you.
Your powerful mind starts to trigger and thinking deeply...
You thought:
[[>If I ask to join them, I can't tell if they mind me because obviously, they will say yes for courtesy, also, I'm not that hungry...<|Ask]]
[[>If I don't ask and wait for their response, they will either ask me to join or ignore me. If ignored, it's not a good feeling of being ignored and I will feel lonely, but it will be the truth.<|Don't Ask]]
[[>Or I can just go ahead and rest in my car and ignore them unless if they ask me anything.<|Try Rest]]During the dinner at the dinner table, they talked about their recent life events and interests that are happening around them. And you have absolutely no idea of how to fit in and talk like the way they are talking. This is because their life events and interests are so distinctive from yours and have nothing in common with you. You felt a little left out and depressed.
After that, you are heading to your [[//Car//|Rest in the Car]] for a quick nap and rest before going to the Fellowship.Every Friday, the Christian Fellowship starts at 7:30 pm, and they'll play little games until 8 pm, then, they'll pretty much spend the rest of the time studying Bibles and giving and sharing some personal speeches, thoughts and life events until nearly 10 pm.
You got there in 7:15 pm and [[//Waited.//|Seeing Her]]
You got a pretty nice car, your family bought it for you, they are pretty rich. Perhaps, this may be part of the reason why you are different. And perhaps, you are destined of being this way.
You rested and took a little nap but can't fall asleep. You can't stop think and wondering about everything going around you, especially how you got here and what you are doing, and what you want.
After that, you are heading to the [[//Fellowship.//|Christian Fellowship]]What a day. You are a little exhausted and laid on your bed and played little relaxing games until 2 am. Then you are about to sleep.
It appears that you always feel hard to fall asleep. You don't know exactly the reason. But you think it might be because you think too much, too depressed and stressed about your life.
[[>Try to fall asleep as best as you can.<|Sleep]]
[[>Wonder about life and love.<|Sleep]]You found yourself hard to fall asleep. And you can't stop examing your life, which almost happens every night.
For some reason, you thought about the two little high school kids you met today, that was unusual. Then, you fall asleep...
[[//Next Friday...//|Next Friday]]A week has quickly passed, nothing special, just studying, doing homework, playing games, or watching episodes or movies without friends.
It's Friday again, that means it's time for basketball and Christian fellowship, you are a little excited, but not that excited.
It's like a continuous loop, you played basketball, rested or gone for food, and then it's for games and bible studies from fellowship.
Hey, you saw that naughty little 17-year-old high school girl again. This time she's alone without her best pal. You wonder the reason why she's still here alone because usually, this type of playgirl would leave this boring place the following week, maybe she has a family here.
It's 7:30 pm, and it's [[//Game Time//|Game]] agian.Games are not the same as before of course, it various every Friday. You figured this time the game is too hard and didn't like it. For some reason, you quickly said something incredible, "this game is gay".
Someone started to laugh hard, though you had no intention of this. It's that little girl again, she said she thinks this game is gay too. And you didn't know that she's actually sitting next to you while laughing hard. This is a little awkward.
Your face turned red again and noticed somebody called her name, [[//Carrie.//|Carrie]]She's laughing at you with her feelings and emotions, vivid and lively facial and gestural expressions with her words. You didn't expect that to happen and that got you a little nervous, yet somehow a surprising and exciting feeling that triggered your heartbeat to a faster pace at the same time.
For a moment you are stunned, then you:
(link: ">Respond and try to engage and communicate with her.<")[(set: $RespondAll = false)(goto: "Communicate")]
[[>Stay calm and respond to her and say, hum, yes.<|Yes]]
[[>Give her Smile and nod your head.<|Yes]]
[[>Give her Smile and try to communicate a little.<|Yes]]You are trying hard and figured you just can't do this.
(if: $Yes is false)[(link: "Back.")[(set: $Yes = true)(goto: "Yes")]]
(if: $Miss is false)[(link: "Back.")[(set: $Miss = true)(goto: "Carrie 5")]]
(if: $RespondAll is false)[(link: "Back.")[(set: $RespondAll = true)(goto: "Carrie")]]
(if: $Follow is false)[(link: "Back.")[(set: $Follow = true)(goto: "Carrie 3")]]
(if: $Ask is false)[(link: "Back.")[(set: $Ask = true)(goto: "Friday 4")]]It seems she is a little interested in you, though she didn't say much after. By this time, you think she is quite interesting and a little cute. In fact, you actually feel quite happy when she cared about you.
(link: "Tell her you think she is quite interesting and cute.")[(set: $Yes = false)(goto: "Communicate")]
You didn't say much for the rest of the day because you thought it was enough feeling for the day, you kept the feeling subconsciously inside of you. It was somehow, pretty sweet.
[[//Continue...//|Home 2]]
{
(set: $Yes to true)
(set: $Miss to true)
(set: $RespondAll to true)
(set: $Follow to true)
(set: $Ask to true)
}
You drive back home again and didn't think too much...
Games, Rest, Movies, Internet, everything as usual..
Until you trying to fall asleep again...
[[>Try to have a good night's sleep.<|Carrie 2]]
[[>Think and Examine your life.<|Carrie 2]]
[[>Wonder about your past.<|Carrie 2]]
[[>Think about your future.<|Carrie 2]]
[[>Think about her...<|Carrie 2]]You are in a position that you can't fall asleep...
Your mind can't stop running but to think of the most important thing...
Interestingly, this time around, it's not about life, future, past, a way of living, or death, all you can think of is her, her face, her eyes, her hair, her smile, her lively and cute personality, and the way how she enthusiastically treats you vividly and lively, and you can't stop thinking...
But you know she is not your type, not only you know she is too different from age, like 8 years, but also her naivety and playfulness, and her personality and physical appearance are way too better than your depressive and low-self esteemed character, and you don't want to screw this. You just have to forget her.
[[//"Destiny has ordained that they are who they are."//|Friday Again]]Time flys fast, after 7 days, it's Friday again~~~
You actually feel pretty good and normal today, nothing too emotional or depressing, which is good. After all, it seems like you have got rid of her emotionally pretty well.
Nothing seems wrong or bad until... she appeared again in fellowship..
When you saw her you got a peculiar feeling of her as if you know her but don't know her at the same time. And you wondered deeply, "what's her feeling about me?" hum...
It may be a great coincidence, she always sits next to you, and it appears that she's the one always choose to sit next to you. Maybe she likes you? But how is this possible? You barely know each other. In fact, you don't know each other at all.
You try to [[//Control//|Carrie 3]] yourself and not emotionally too attached to her because you noticed you are getting in that situation.
You try hard to act calmly and normal as if you have no feelings of her at all. You try to concentrate on the fellowship and ignore her. You kept yourself as calm as usual.
But the coincidence quickly became something usual. Everything you do, say, and choose, she is likely to follow and does the same. When you say your point of view, she'll say the same. When you squat down and taking a look at something curiously, she'll be the only one who does the same. She follows what you do, and it appears to be very obvious.
You intuitively realized she is interested in you, at least she doesn't dislike you. And this got your feelings to another level...
You feel so happy that someone is trying to be like you, though you are still unsure if she is trying to make a friend or something else.
It's a sweet, peculiar, and heart-beating feeling that you never had:
[[>But you didn't say a word and kept all the feelings, emotions, and sweetness inside because it was too much and enough.<|Home 3]]
[[>You smile at her, but you don't know what to say or how to start the conversation.<|Home 3]]
(link: ">You wondered and asked her why she's doing and following you all the same.<")[(set: $Follow = false)(goto: "Communicate")]
[[>You curiously staring at her face and eyes and waiting for her to respond.<|Home 3.1]]"Is it destiny that brings people together, or is it accident?"
Without a word, she sometimes smiles at you with an unforgettable and loveliness facial expression, but she didn't stare at you very often. When she is next to you, you can feel a strong source of energy and connection between you and her, it's like one soul bonding with another...
[[//Driving//|Home 3.5]] home, she is all in your mind... and you are falling deeper and deeper and have no idea what's going to happen...Bad news, no fellowship this Friday. You feel pretty bad about this because this means you'll spend more time by yourself, like literally two weeks alone.
You sense a feeling of disconnection and the urgency of seeing her again, to be quite frankly, you miss her... In fact, you can't stop thinking of her every day, yet you know you shouldn't because you don't really know her, and she doesn't really know you.
It's not a pleasant feeling because you know it's not right. You are missing a girl who you don't know anything about. In the worst senario, she got no feelings of you and not interested in you at all. Yet you know you are somehow falling little in love, and such a feeling is inevitable.
It's such a lonely and quiet night~... ...
~~>Try to fall asleep.<~~
[[>You can't control your mind but thinking about her until you fall asleep.<|Friday 2]]
[[>You can't control your mind but thinking about her until you fall asleep.<|Friday 2]]
[[>You can't control your mind but thinking about her until you fall asleep.<|Friday 2]]The anxious and depressing endless two weeks have passed.
You can't wait of seeing her again, yet you are nervous about how you feel of her and intuitively knowing you shouldn't let her know how much you like her. At the same time, for some reason, you peculiarly believe that she will show up, almost as if you believe she can't wait to see you too...
You knew you shouldn't have thinking about her too much, but at that moment, it was like a [[//Miracle//|Friday 3]] that you see she is there again...You feel so happy~
During the fellowship, you acted and talked like nothing happened before. But you know yourself, you know how much desire you have on her. And all those feelings, anxieties, depressing and pressure are striking and wretching your heart, and you wonder if she feels the same.
You managed to have a little conversation with her and realized she's somehow quiet, physically and mentally staying back and engaging at you at the same time... It's almost as if she's acting as she got a secret but not willing to say..
The fellowship is over, and you [[//don't want to leave...//|Friday 4]]
You joined the game and had a lot of conversations and fun, and you noticed you are getting closer to her. And one thing, it appears that she is always laughing at you every time when you say something during the game. It was pretty obvious that she laughs no one else, you thought, maybe because you are funny and make jokes, or she is actually liking you.
It's nearly 2 am. Most people are leaving, the game is over.
You felt you don't want to leave. Coincidently, you saw and heard a few of your friends are planing the next late-night Werewolf game somewhere else. Usually, you don't initiate ask questions, but this time you can't stop yourself but engaged and asked where they are going and what they are doing. You said you would like to join them for the next few rounds of Werewolf.
Interestingly, you didn't know she is not going. But more interestingly, after she heard the conversation, she came in a rush and asked if she could join...
It was a long night until 4 am...
When it's all over:
[[>Say Goodbye to her.<|Carrie 6]]
[[>Wave your hand as Goodbye.<|Carrie 6]]
[[>Say Goodbye to her and wave your hand.<|Carrie 6]]
(link: ">Tell her how you feel, and profess how much you like her.<")[(set: $Miss = false)(goto: "Communicate")]You stayed a while and had little talks with everyone.
(link: ">Ask what she's doing next.<")[(set: $Ask = false)(goto: "Communicate")]
[[>Ask what friends are doing next.<|Carrie 4.1]]
[[>Have a conversation with everyone and improvise the situation of getting closer to her.<|Carrie 4.2]]As you thought, they replied yes. But you are unsure if they replied for courtesy or just don't mind you going with them, you wondered and intuitively sensed that they are not all that interested in you.
But anyway, at least now you are not lonely, and you are going to a nearby [[//Restaurant//|Dinner]] with them with little excitement.You waited for an answer, unfortunately, they didn't ask if you would like to join them or not. You feel a little left out. But at least you figured the truth, they are not all that interested in you. It seems you are not very surprised by this because you intuitively sensed this before.
You disappointedly heading to your car for a [[//Rest//|Rest in the Car 0.5]].You are going to your nearby car for a rest, but surprisingly, one of them asked if you would like to join them from a nearby restaurant. You quickly replied "sure".
As you replied, you quickly acknowledged other people's facial expressions and emotions. You intuitively sensed that others may not be all that interested in you, especially that you sensed the guy didn't even ask you to go seriously.
But anyway, at least now you are not lonely, and you are going to a nearby [[//Restaurant//|Dinner]] with them with little excitement.You got a pretty nice car, your family bought it for you, they are pretty rich. Perhaps, this may be part of the reason why you are different. And perhaps, you are destined of being this way.
You rested and took a little nap but can't fall asleep. You can't stop think and wondering about everything going around you, especially how you got here and what you are doing, and what you want.
After that, you feel a little hungry and heading to a nearby [[//Restaurant//|Dinner 2]].You got to the restaurant and can't believe that basketball friends are also there. You feel a little embarrassed about seeing them and embarrassingly asked if you can join them. Of course, they say yes.
During the dinner at the dinner table, they talked about their recent life events and interests that are happening around them. And you have absolutely no idea of how to fit in and talk like the way they are talking. This is because their life events and interests are so distinctive from yours and have nothing in common with you. You felt a little left out and depressed.
After that, you are heading to the [[//Fellowship.//|Christian Fellowship]]You try hard and calmly talk with them a little. You find this is not easy as if they were completely other species. Perhaps you were right about the age gap between them and you. But most importantly, you are in a nervous state that you can't talk very normally because you've never communicated much with young attractive high school girls.
You played little games, read some bible, and listened to some personal speeches, thoughts and life events until nearly 10 pm. Then you had little snacks with them as usual. It's just another usual and normal Friday. And as depressed as usual, nothing special, though you are not all that depressed because at least you are doing something without being isolated at home doing nothing.
After all this fellowship, it's nearly 11 pm, so you [[//drive back home.//|Home]]Back home, you can't stop your emotions about her. She is all over your mind when you play a game, watch an episode, or doing your homework...
You are getting emotionally attached to her. You can't control it, and you know it...
You wonder if she likes you because you know you subconsciously like her. This is going in your mind over and over again, but you thought, maybe not, because you are unsure if it's something else. But you know that you are starting falling in love with her and nobody knows.
[[//You've thought about <span style="font-size: 90%"><span style="color: #E96BFF;">"if she likes me..."</span></span> millions of times.//|Home 4]]
"Is it destiny that brings people together, or is it accident?"
It appears she's not all that comfortable staring back and sometimes would avoid your contact. She just keeps smiling with an unforgettable and loveliness facial expression. When she is next to you, you can feel a strong source of energy and connection between you and her, it's like one soul with another...
[[//Driving//|Home 3.5]] home, she is all in your mind... and you are falling deeper and deeper and have no idea what's going to happen..."When you’re attracted to someone it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate, is just two neuroses knowing they’re a perfect match."
<span style="font-size: 150%">The End.</span>"Our acquaintanceships are accidental, perhaps this is by chance a predestination."
You don't know if this is a great coincidence or miracle that many of your friends are going to "Yes Food Court" to play a popular card game Werewolf recently, which normally you know everybody would just go home. And you figured, she's going too.
You ask if you can [[go|Carrie 5]] with them, and they replied, of course."Our acquaintanceships are accidental, perhaps this is by chance a predestination."
You don't know if this is a great coincidence or miracle, you heard that many of your friends are going to "Yes Food Court" to play a popular card game Werewolf recently, which normally you know everybody would just go home. And you figured, she's going too.
While you are trying to figure out how to join them, one of your friends came up and asked if you would like to join them. And you replied, [[yes, sure.|Carrie 5]]You got home
The night is dark
The lights were off
You miss her deeply...
And you prefer not to turn the lights on
The stairs are hard to take
One step by step
The further and further you feel she is getting further from you...
You miss her so much...
You slowly took your steps and back to your room
That was like 10 minutes walk from the garage...
But your house isn't that big...
You sit down on the floor in your room
You quietly close the door
No lights, no bed, and no sleep
You are so depressed without her...
[[//Continue...//|Carrie 7]]More weeks and weeks have passed, you played Werewolf with her every Friday night, though you are not that interested in the game. Sometimes you go there with friends on other days than Friday. And the magic always happens that she is there... The same laugh, and the same smile, looking vividly alive and lively cute... You are falling in love with her.
You got her popular Chinese contact "WeChat", and waiting for a day to profess you like her...
[[//You believe in miralce?//|End]]