Infiltrating Frat Fridays

''Infiltrating Frat Fridays'' by Lauren Do //TW: Mentions of rape and sexual assault.// //Disclaimer: All characters and events are purely fictional.// [[Start]]

With this new outfit, you also need to decide if you want to [[bring a friend to the party]] to the party or [[go alone]] and just blend in with the crowd. There are pros and cons to both options; bringing a friend means you can both gather evidence without drawing too much suspiscion, but going alone means you won't be putting a friend in potential danger.

With this new outfit, you also need to decide if you want to [[bring a friend to the party]] or [[go alone]]. There are pros and cons to both options; bringing a friend means you can both gather evidence without drawing too much suspiscion, but going alone means you won't be putting a friend in potential danger.

You're walking to the Sigma Pi chapter house from your apartment right by campus. Isla Vista is a small area, so you don't think it's necessary to drive since there probably won't be any parking anyway. On your way, you see a dark figure leaning against a car parked on the street, freaking you out a bit. You walk a bit closer and recognize the man to be your [[TA]] for your writing composition class. You're still a bit unnerved, but you don't want to offend him by acting too paranoid. Do you continue [[walking]] past, or do you hold onto your [[pepper spray]] just in case?

You choose to bring your best friend, a 20 year old computer science major. She changes into the extra bikini top and shorts you decided not to wear. It's a cute outfit that flatters her figure, and you can tell she feels confident in (link-reveal: "it. ") [ You and your friend are able to slip into the party easily. The house is packed full of people. There's the makeshift bar to your right, stairs to the upstairs bedrooms to your left, and a beer pong table set up in the backyard. You and your friend decide to split up in order to gather the most evidence, but she lets you take first dibs on where you want to go first. Do you go to the [[bar]], go [[upstairs]], or go to the [[backyard]]?]

//Calm down. He's a nice guy. Probably just getting some fresh air.// You try to continue walking like normal, but your TA notices your nervous demeanor as you walk (link-reveal: "closer. ") [Just as you're about to pass him, he grabs you abruptly, throwing you into his car before locking it behind [[him]].]

//Better safe than sorry. He's probably just getting fresh air anyway.// You slowly reach into your purse for the pepper case, but your TA notices your nervous demeanor as you walk (link-reveal: "closer. ") [Before you're about to even reach the pepper spray, he grabs you abruptly, throwing you into his car before locking it behind [[him]].]

You wake up the next morning, emotionally numb. You try to piece together the happenings of last night, but part of you doesn't want to even remember. You tell your friends, and they urge you to report him. You know that if you were in their shoes, you would urge yourself to report him [[too.]]

You choose to go to the bar, so your friend decides to go upstairs and see if anything suspicious is already happening. You don't want to raise any suspicion by looking too sober, so you pour yourself a cup of regular Coke and put on a tipsy act. You scan the room, seeing if there's anything (link-reveal: "suspicious.") [ Everyone seems to be having a good time; no one looks visibly uncomfortable by frat boys flirting with them so you assume the girls are safe so far. You feel a bit awkward standing there alone, so start to pull your phone out. Suddenly, you hear your name [[called.]]]

You decide to check the bedrooms, so your friend decides to hang outside in the backyard. You slip upstairs, hoping you don't look too suspicious going (link-reveal: "alone.") [ There, you see about 14 doors, presumably for the bedrooms. About 9 of the doors are closed, and of those 9, there are 2 with a sock on the handle. The remaining 5 are wide open with lights on. You don't want to barge in on any of the rooms, whether they're open or not. So, do you [[listen in on doors with socks]], [[knock on regular closed doors]], or [[peak inside open doors]]?]

You decide to go play some beer pong, so your friend tells you she'll be chilling by the bar. You head outside and watch a few rounds before a Sigma Pi brother asks you if you want to play. Figuring you can probably get a drunk frat boy to spill, you [[agree]].

You ignore your classmate's call and pretend you didn't hear. You check your phone to see a text from your (link-reveal: "friend.") [ //Help.// You immediately make your way upstairs. There are about 14 rooms, and you don't know which one she would be in. You try every door, but most are locked. You reach one door and you recognize your friend's voice inside, but the door is locked as well. Do you continue trying to [[knock down the door]] or [[find someone who can help]]?]

You decide looking at your phone might make you look too out of place, so you try and talk to your old classmate instead. They ask you what you're doing here and why they've never seen you around at any frat parties. You simply tell them you're more of a kickback type person but you wanted to check out what the hype of SigPi was (link-reveal: "about.") [ "SigPi is kind of an interesting choice for your first frat party, considering their reputation as, well, you know," they say, "But that's not stopping me from coming back every weekend. Not to be judgy, but I'd like to think I'm smart enough to not let myself get assaulted at a fucking frat party." //Now I remember why I never talked to you in high school.// You wrap up the conversation and pour yourself more [[Coke.|called.]]]

//Maybe someone's already in danger. Better check those rooms first.// You listen in on one, and by the sounds of both parties involved, it seems very consensual, to say the (link-reveal: "least.") [ You listen in on another, and you hear the faint cries of a girl saying "please stop." You immediately try opening the door, but it's locked. Do you try and [[knock down the door]] or [[find someone who can help]]?]

//I guess there's no harm in just knocking.// Most of the doors go unanswered, probably because the inhabitants are downstairs with the rest of the crowd. However, [[one person]] opens their door. You weren't really prepared for anyone to actually answer, so you stand there, not knowing what to say. He gives you an odd look, but invites you into his room in case you're just looking to take a break from the (link-reveal: "chaos.") [ He walks back over to his computer, leaving the door open as a silent confirmation that you're welcome to stay. You walk in slowly and situate yourself on the extra chair he has lying around. You try to start a [[conversation]].]

//I mean, if it's already open, looking inside shouldn't be too (link-reveal: "suspicious")// [You don't see much; most of the rooms are empty. One room has a person in it, but he asks you to shut the door for him when he sees you walk past. There doesn't seem to be much [[here|upstairs]].]

"Honestly, I just thought I would fit in well with the guys," he explains, "They all seemed like really cool dudes and their bond was unmatched, and I wanted to be apart of that. And I couldn't be happier to have them as my brothers." He smiles genuinely as he goes on about how much he wanted to join and how happy he is after (link-reveal: "joining.") [ It scares you a bit, seeing how seemingly normal these guys are. Even if only half the allegations are true, that doesn't change the fact that the "innocent" brothers still support the predators in the frat. You nod before picking up another [[ping pong ball.|agree]]]

He laughs, then looks at you with a concerned expression. "Oh. You're serious," he says. He takes a couple seconds to think about an answer while you stand there (link-reveal: "waiting.") [ "I'd be living under a rock if I didn't hear about what people think of us, but if I'm going to be honest, I think it's just taken out of context," he explains, "Yeah, there's a lot of drunk sex and sometimes you don't remember it in the morning, but I don't think that makes it rape. Like, obviously consent is important, but I think drunk consent is still consent. Getting drunk just means you loosened up, so I don't think it's a valid excuse to call it 'rape' just because there's alc [[involved]]."]

"I'm loving it honestly. Everyone's so fun to be around and they're all great guys. We got a couple manwhores, I won't lie, but that doesn't make them bad people," he laughs. "Manwhores? Why would you say that?" you ask, trying to focus on the cups on the other end of the table. You think you might have had too much to [[drink.]]

You immediately regret saying this once you say it. You barely know the guy, and even though he might be one of the alleged predators, it's pretty disrespectful to even jokingly accuse someone of doing so. Actually, joking about it at all is definitely in poor taste as (link-reveal: "well.") [ He laughs, assuring you he's not that kind of guy. "I'm too soft for that. I can't be violent with any girls," he explains. His words have too much room for interpretation. Does he not realize rape isn't always violent in the act itself? Sex by coersion is rape, sex with an unconscious body is rape, and sex with an extremely intoxicated partner is rape; none of these are inherently violent in terms of physical aggression. Your thoughts are cut short by a hand on your [[shoulder]].]

You try kicking down the door, but frat brothers from the other rooms come out and try to stop you. They drag you down the stairs and toss you onto their front porch, locking the door behind you. Your friend is still in there. You try everything to sneak back in, but to no avail. You're helpless. You sit on the sidewalk in [[silence]].

You run downstairs, hoping to find someone who would help. You run into your old classmate from before. You rush over and grab her hand, begging her to come help. She gives you a look of sympathy, but she doesn't (link-reveal: "budge.") [ "I'ms sorry, babe, but there's nothing we can really do. You just have to wait for him to finish and collect her afterwards," she says softly. Her voice is barely audible over the music and chatter, but her words stung. How can we just wait? Your classmates gives you one last condolence before sliiping back into the crowd. You stand there, helpless. The pounding white noise drowns out into [[silence]].]

"Why aren't you downstairs with everyone else?" you ask. "I have a midterm in a couple days, so I'm skipping out on this one. I'm not much of a partier anyway so I'm not too bummed," he replies, not looking up from his (link-reveal: "monitor.") [ This confuses you. It's not uncommon for people in greek life to not be big party-goers, but UCSB's Sigma Pi is the frat you join if you //only// care about partying. He sees your confused expression from the corner of his eye, and explains to you that Sigma Pi isn't really as bad as you think it is. "I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you guys known for being rapists?" you say, realizing a bit too late that you could have worded that in a less offensive way. He turns to [[face you]].]

You find your friend and ask her if she knows an Allison Wong. She says she does, and pulls up her Instagram [[profile]] to show you. Seems to be a fair match. You look up her profile on your own phone, and send her a (link-reveal: "message") [ //Hey Allison, I'm working on an exposee on Sigma Pi's predatory behavior for the Daily Nexus. I was told you have a story to share regarding this subject. Would you be open to an interview?// Now you wait for her reply. You and your friend figure you might as well hang around while you wait. Almost immediately, you feel your phone [[vibrate]].]

You wake up the next morning in your own bed. You don't know how you got here, but you see your friend lying on the floor next to you. She's still in her bikini top and (link-reveal: "shorts.") [ You try to piece together what happened last night, but part of you feels like it's a bad idea to try and remember. The last thing you recall is some guy from your class last quarter taking you upstairs. You try to crawl out of bed, but a shooting pain coming from your pelvis paralyzes you. You look down and see bloodstains on the edge of your dress. [[Realization]] hits you.]

Your friend wakes up, immediately breaking down into tears when she sees you. She apologizes profusely, saying she should've stayed with you and maybe she could have prevented you from being assaulted. You smile softly at her, assuring her it's not her fault and it's never her fault, only his. She still blames herself, but she asks you if you remember who the guy was and if you could report it to the Title IX office. You don't [[answer]].

It feels like forever before your friend finally walks out. You make eye contact. Her eyes are vacant. You gently place your arm around her. She flinches. You walk her home, the sounds of the party fading into the (link-reveal: "night.") [ You decide to spend the night on the floor of your friend's bedroom. You wish her a good night before shutting your eyes. You hear her muffled cries under her blanket. You [[sleep]].]

The next morning, you wake up to your friend already awake. She lies in bed, eyes wide and (link-reveal: "empty.") [ "I don't blame you, you know," she says quietly. You don't respond. You sit in silence for a bit [[longer.]]]

''<3 allison wong <3'' ucsb '21 ΣΟΠ amosc: allywally1999 [[Back|first lead]]

What you see shocks you. Her message is impressively lengthy for something that was typed in such a short period of (link-reveal: "time.") [ //Listen, I know you probably mean well, but I'm not okay with having my story out so publicly. I can assure you I'm fine, I'm handling my case on my own. But I hope you reconsider writing this piece. We all know SigPi has trash men. But reporting and putting them on blast isn't as easy as you think. I'm in a sorority that's already considered mid-tier. If I report, that will put my sorority on bad terms with SigPi, and no one wants to be on bad terms with SigPi. I can't put my sisters' reputation on the line. God, I wish I could report and maybe one day I will. But I know for a fact that the last thing I want is my name and my story in the papers. What you're doing is invading the privacy of dozens of women who just want to forget what happened to them. What happened to me is something I never want to let out, because I know there will be people who will only know me as the girl that got raped. I want to handle this privately. Thank you for looking out for us women, but please reconsider your [[approach.]]//]

Name: Edward Chapman Occupation: English graduate student Facts: well-loved among English department, published 2 young adult novels, volunteers regularly as a guest reader at children's hospitals. [[Back|go alone]]

Name: Darren Tang Occupation: Fourth year physics major Facts: Joined Sigma Pi fall quarter of freshman year because his friend was scared to rush alone. His friend got alcohol poisoning at a hazing event and was dropped from pledging. A bit introverted, but loyal to his brothers. [[Back|knock on regular closed doors]]

Name: Rishik Kedia Occupation: Second year computer science major/legal studies minor Facts: Only at UCSB because he's an international student that pays double the amount of in-state. Plays cricket. [[Back|shoulder]]

Your team at the Daily Nexus, UCSB's student-run newspaper, asks you to infiltrate Sigma Pi's weekly parties to gather enough evidence to write a breaking news article. You accept the mission, and start to prepare for tomorrow's Lūʻau-themed social. But before anything else, you need to pick an outift. Do you wear a [[bikini top with high-waisted denim shorts]] or a [[flowy Hawaiian print sundress]]?

The next 20 minutes feel like a lifetime. Your muffled screams are masked by the EDM blasting from at least 3 different (link-reveal: "parties. ") [You're tossed back onto the street after he finishes, your mind still foggy. You mindlessly walk back [[home]], collapsing into bed before falling asleep.]

Your mind is racing. He invaded your body that night, but even now he invades your thoughts and memory. You can still feel the harsh grips on your wrists. You hate yourself for not fighting him off harder. You hate yourself for letting it happen, even though you know deep down it wasn't your (link-reveal: "fault. ") [ //But you still hate [[yourself.]]//]

But there's consequences you didn't consider before the incident. He's your TA, someone with more leverage over you than a simple peer. If you report and the Title IX office doesn't administer any punishments, he could completely ruin your grade, and you can't risk failing a class. Plus, the process of reporting is long and exhausting, and for some reason, you just want to forget and try to move (link-reveal: "on. ") [ But, if you don't report, you'll have to see him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and you'll have to relive that night every time you see his face in class. There are no options for you that won't [[hurt you]].]

You hate the unshakable fear that this will happen to you again. You hate the fact that you're too scared to report but also too scared to continue living life as if it never happened. There are no options for you that won't hurt you. You fall asleep. There are no (link-reveal: "options.") [ THE END]

You look up and see an old classmate from high school. You don't really know them too well, so conversation may be awkward if you acknowledge them, but maybe they might know something. Do you continue to [[check your phone]] or [[talk to your old classmate]]?

"How do I report him?" she asks. You ask her what she means. "I don't know the man. I've never seen him in my life," she says, "How can I report a man I don't know?" "There's bound to be ways to find him. Social media, their website, just simply asking around," you assure her. She nods. She wants to find the man as soon as possible and start the reporting process the second she finds out who assaulted her. You start searching around for a list of current Sigma Pi [[brothers.]]

"I guess this is probably the best source you could possibly get for you story," she says, a half smile forming on her face. You look at her, shocked. Your story was the last thing on your mind. You didn't want to make a spectacle of her trauma, especially knowing how private of a person she is. You assure her you won't be including her in the story for her privacy. She thanks you, but then apologizes for making you fail your "undercover mission." You hug her, assuring her it's okay. Technically, your mission did fail. But victims shouldn't be blasted onto breaking newspapers for the sake of a good story. Right now, your new mission is to help your friend seek the justice she deserves. Sigma Pi will get what's coming to them (link-reveal: "soon.") [ THE END]

"I'm well aware of our reputation. And honestly, it's mostly true. It sucks, yeah, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal," he says nonchalantly. "Most of the time it's not even really rape; it's just drunk sex that the girl regrets later on. I know the girl Mr. Prez hooked up with last week was drunk and all, so she can't really say it's rape. But hey, if she hated it that much then she shouldn't have dressed like a fucking slut to a frat party." //God, this dude's a fucking asshole.// "Wow, that's rough. You know the girl?" you [[ask]].

"Yeah, I think it was Allison Wong? Dumb bitch, I'm glad she's at least smart enough to not report. We might seem like just a dumb frat but we can and //will// ruin you if you try us," he says, staring intently at (link-reveal: "you.") [ You get a gut feeling he's not talking about Allison. You laugh it off, excusing yourself saying you want to get another drink. At least now, you have your [[first lead]].]

You stare at the message. She definitely has a point. You decide that maybe writing an exposee wasn't the best idea if helping women is one of the main goals. There's bound to be another way to expose the predators in this house. It's just a matter of (link-reveal: "how.") [ THE END]

He goes to the opposite side of the table and you start playing. You're a bit out of practice and have to down a bit more than you expected to, but you're sober enough to remember what you're here for. You're making fair enough conversation with the guy, so you decide to throw in a (link-reveal: "question.") [ What do you ask? [[Why'd you decide to join Sigma Pi?]] [[I'm sure you are well aware of the rape allegations right? How do you feel about it?]] [[How are you liking being in the fraternity?]] [[Haha you're not going to rape me, right? Just kidding.]]]

He goes on to explain why the allegations are false, but his arguments can be summarized as "yes, our brothers are rapists but it's not really rape." You nod, pretending to understand. //I'm starting to really wish I hadn't come (link-reveal: "here...")// [ No one makes it into the cups, but you down a shot [[anyway|agree]].]

"Well, a handful of us probably hook-up with at least two girls each party. I personally don't because I don't think it's much fun fuckng drunk hoes going in and out of consciousness the entire time, but to each their own," he (link-reveal: "said.") [ You freeze. This random frat boy just nonchalantly tells you he's not into raping girls, but it's just a personal preference that he won't enforce on other guys. //You've got to be fukcing kidding me.// You give him a neutral nod in response. He tosses the ping pong ball straight into one of your cups. You take a [[shot|agree]].]

You look up to see a [[guy]] from your Python class last quarter. He was always the guy shouting out answers to your professor's rhetorical questions just to show everyone he knew the answer. You really fucking hated that guy. "Hey, you look kinda familiar," he says to you, not lifting his hand. You look at him and you realize your eyes aren't focusing. You feel your panic rising, but your body feels like it's not in your control (link-reveal: "anymore.") [ "Woah, easy there," he says, his arm firmly around your body as your knees give out. You see the beer pong guy walk back into the house without looking at you. "Here, let's get you upstairs," he says. You can't bring yourself to push him away, and you're left with no choice but to [[him let take you]].]

You were (link-reveal: "raped.") [ You, the person who tried to infiltrate a frat party to expose the alleged predators, were raped by a brother yourself. Your mind is blank. You don't remember any of it happening, but it still hurts you deeply to know that it did. You lie back down for a bit, staring blankly at the ceiling. //[[What now]]?//]

You know him, you remember him, but you don't want to. You used to be such a strong advocate for reporting all assault cases and getting victims the justice they deserve, but you just want to forget and pretend it never happened. He invaded your body once; you don't want to give him the power to invade your mind and soul. However, you know in your heart that it's the right thing to do. You immediately make an appointment for a medical forensic exam, a.k.a the rape kit; luckily, you're able to get one the following [[day.]]

The next morning rolls around, and you anxiously walk into your appointment. //You'll be fine. It's a long process, but a necessary one. You're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing.// The process was long and invasive. You were able to get in contact with police for questioning, but the way they interrogated you made it clear that they didn't [[believe you.]]

You got the rape kit. You pressed charged. You had to relive your trauma every interrogation, but you thought it was a necessary evil to get justice. You thought you did everything (link-reveal: "right.") [ But he walks free. He still walks free because something must have gone wrong in the kit. Something must have been misinterpreted in the interrogation. Something must have gone wrong if he's still able to walk [[free.]]]

But you did nothing wrong. You did everything you could. The system simply failed to protect victims, as it commonly does. //It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. I know it's not my fault. I will get my justice (link-reveal: "soon...")// [ THE END]

You're a 21 year old female English major at the University of California, Santa Barbara. UCSB is known as the University of Casual Sex and Beer to outsiders, but the tongue-in-cheek nickname has a darker meaning to the women of UCSB. Sigma Pi, an all-male fraternity, is notorious on campus for having multiple sexual assault accusations. However, the Title IX office cannot take any actions without enough evidence backing the assault [[claims.]]