Overboard

(align: "=><=")[[[Just a little further...->intro 1]]]

(align: "=><=")[Just another inch and I'll be able to reach the [[baron->intro 2]]'s purse...]

(align: "=><=")["Hey! You're not supposed to be here! Guards! There's an intruder!" Uh oh. Time to [[get out of here.|shouts]]]

(align: "=><=")[[Hey! Stop!]<shout1| (click: ?shout1)[[That's the thief!]<shout2|] (click: ?shout2)[[He's headed out the side door!]<shout3|] (click: ?shout3)[[Get him!]<shout4|] (click: ?shout4)[[Come back here, you little rat!]<shout5|] (click: ?shout5)[ He's headed for the [[docks!->title]]]]

(set: $transCounter to 0)\ (align: "=><=")[ |sample1)[(transition: "dissolve")[(css: "font-size: 150px; line-height: 0.9;")[&nbspOver ](css: "font-size: 180px")[Board]]] |sample2)[(transition: "dissolve")[created by James Taliaferro]] |sample3)[(transition: "dissolve")[[[start your journey->dock]]]] ] { (live: 1s)[ (set: $transCounter to it + 1) (if: $transCounter is 1)[ (show: ?sample1) ] (else-if: $transCounter is 2)[ (show: ?sample2) ] (else-if: $transCounter is 3)[ (show: ?sample3) ] (else:)[ (stop:) ] ] }

[Breathe in...]<in| (click: ?in)[[And out.]<out|] (click: ?out)[ You won't have too long to catch your breath though. It won't be long before you're spotted by the owner of the fruit stand you're hiding underneath. You need to [[find a way to escape]].]

You [peek]<peek| out from under the tablecloth (click: ?peek)[and see the city docks bustling with sailors boarding their ships. Beyond, you see nothing but open sea. A [[dead end.]] ]

You [look the other way]<look|(click: ?look)[ and see the city streets full of vendors and [[carts]].]

[Crash!]<shout1| (click: ?shout1)[[You big lunkheads had better pay for those flowers!]<shout2|] (click: ?shout2)[Uh oh. The baron's goons are back. Hopefully they won't find you [under here]<shout3|] (click: ?shout3)[Hey! You! [[Get out from under there!]]]

Time to [make a move.]<shout1| (click: ?shout1)[You spring out from under the fruit stand and dash down the docks with the hired muscle hot on your heels. Suddenly, you stop short, your arms reeling to keep you from tumbling into the sea beyond. The end of the dock. You [look]<look| back down the docks](click: ?look)[ and spot the goons closing off your escape route. [[Trapped.]]]

At that moment, you hear a shrill sound begin to echo from the riggings of all the ships around you. The bosun's whistles--the tide is going out! The ships--that's your escape. But which one? You think for a split second, then leap over the rail aboard the deck of... [[The ornate, filigreed schooner from which the sound of fine music wafts over the water, sails adorned with the crest of a nation from across the sea.|diplomat]] [[The unassuming-looking brigantine, whose only identifying trait is its ominous, inky black sails.|pirate]]

You land safely on the top deck and look around to see if anybody's spotted you. The only other person on deck is the helmsman, who is absorbed in the work of steering the ship He makes no indication that he's seen you. The sound of music and the smell of food seem to be coming from belowdecks, so you make your way towards the stairs. Down in the lower levels of the ship, you step through a velvet curtain and find a party--royals and diplomats in gold and finery drinking and eating, as musicians serenade them in the corner. You recognize a few of them from the statues in the city square--they are diplomats and politicians, enjoying a pleasure cruise. You're admiring the spectacle, when you're unexpectedly approached by a noble, who demands to know what you're doing interrupting his gala. After an instant of hesitation, you reply, [[I've come from the galley to see if you need more hors d'oeuvres.]] [[I'm with the other minstrels, my song is on next.]] (set: $path to "diplomat")(set: $angryGuests to false)

As you make a leap for the small ship, one of the henchmen catches the tails of your coat. It tears and you break free, but you are knocked off balance and hit your head on the deck of the ship. As your vision blurs, you hear the goons cursing your name, and a rough, gravelly voice muttering "I guess we've got ourselves a [[stowaway...]]"

(set: $specialty to "food")"Well, of course!" replies the gentleman, with irritation in his voice. He thrusts a tray of crumbs and garnishes into your hands. Another guest spots you with the tray and joins in. "The spiced figs ran out before we even left port, and we're down to the last bottle of champagne!" "If we had to wait much longer, we'd have had to break out the stronger spirits!" adds the first. "Go back to the [[kitchen]] and get us the main course," adds a third.

(set: $specialty to "music")What song do you sing? [[A somber tale of a lost love across the sea]] [[An upbeat song, sure to get everybody dancing]] [[A piece of spoken word poetry set to rhythm]]

(set: $piratesImpressed to false) You awake and find your hands tied. On all sides, you see rough-looking sailors tending to the workings of the ship. They look dangerous. [[try to run]] [[ask what's going on]] (set: $path to "pirate")

(set: $piratesImpressed to true)They don't seem to notice you're awake--this might be your chance. You wriggle against the ropes and feel your left arm slip free. You use it to untie your right arm, then your left leg, then... (click-append: "...")[ "Arr, the kid's awake!" you hear a gravelly voice shout. "And he's trying to escape!" chuckles another. You sprint towards the edge of the ship and bound over the gunwale--you can see land in the distance, and you've swum that far before. Unfortunately, as you plummet towards the sea below, you suddenly feel your right leg jerked up and find yourself dangling upside-down by your ankle, with your head a few feet from the waves. Damn; in your haste you weren't able to finish untying yourself from the mast. The sailors hoist you up by the rope around your ankle and dump you like a sack of potatoes on the deck. You're surrounded. "What do we do with him?" "Why don't we just shoot him now and get it over with?" "I say he ought to [[walk the plank]]."]

"Arr, the kid's awake," chuckles a sailor. He bends down to your eye level; his breath smells of seawater and moldy hardtack. "Ye see, we're not too fond of stowaways--this ain't a passenger vessel, and there be no vacancies in this crew. You see, we're the sort of 'steal from the rich to feed the poor' types you read about in your storybooks," (a few of the other sailors laugh at this) "except that by the poor we mean ourselves, and by the rich we mean everybody else." Your worst suspicions are confirmed--these men are pirates. "And, well, anybody we don't like tends to end up at the [[bottom of the sea.|walk the plank]]"

You see one of the pirates laying down a long plank like a diving board along the deck, extending a few feet off the edge. It's the last thing you see before another one ties a blindfold around your eyes, and a heavy weight on a chain around your ankle. They pick you up off the deck and start pushing you towards the edge of the plank. You feel the plank sway in the sea breeze as you creep closer and closer to the tip. Your toes curl around the farthest edge, then(if: $piratesImpressed)[[[...|savedByCaptain]]](else:)[[[...|splash]]]

You hear a door behind you slam, and a voice like the creaking of timbers in the wind. "WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YOU FOOLS DOING?!" You're so startled that you slip and tumble off the edge of the plank, but a strong hand catches you by the collar and swings you back onto the deck. The blindfold is removed from your eyes, and you see a towering figure in a red tailcoat and a tricorn hat looming ominously over you, with a menacing look in his eye. "You colossal dunces! Were you going to toss this child to the sharks after he's shown such spirit?!" You're puzzled for a moment, then realize: that anger in his eyes isn't directed at you! A few of the crew look sheepish, and none of them will meet the gaze of the man now standing over you, who you presume must be their captain. He turns his attention back to you and crouches down to examine you more closely. "No, lads. A child like this with the resourcefulness he showed--[[he could be of use to us]]."

You cry out as you feel the world give out from beneath your feat, and you tumble into the cold sea below. You try to stay afloat, but the weight around your ankle pulls you down and the world fades away into blue and black. [[try again|stowaway...]]

"...All that glitters is goooooooold; only shooting staaars break the mold..." The final refrains of your song echo across the water. The diplomats (who are quite inebriated at this point) are dancing a merry jig in the center of the ship's cabin, and seem to have picked up the lyrics well enough that they can continue without you. Even the ship's guards have left their posts and joined in the fun. After the next chorus, the leader of the minstrels taps you on the shoulder and smiles. "You've got some potential, lad. We'd be thrilled to have you in our troupe." You smile and nod, and quietly [[slip offstage]] and leave them to their revelries.

"...that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you--hey, why'd you stop playing?" You get only a few bars into your song before the minstrels accompanying you put their instruments down in protest. You try to keep the beat going on your own, but the diplomats (who are quite inebriated at this point) are furious that you would consider such //lewd, crass// work equal to their //refined// ears. (set: $angryGuests to true)(set: $displeasedGuests to true) The guests are milling around discontentedly, when suddenly a [shout]<shout| is heard from the back of the room: (click: ?shout)["Hey everyone," slurs a red-faced man emerging from the ship's toilet, "I'm sorry I'm late. [[I'm the singer]], I'm (burp) ready to perform now."]

"We'll stay forever this way, you are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and oooooooooooon..." The final solemn note of your song echoes across the water. The diplomats (who are quite inebriated at this point) are profoundly affected, and most lie quietly sobbing on the soft cushions dotted around the room, moved to tears. The leader of the minstrels taps you on the shoulder and smiles. "You've got some potential, lad. We'd be thrilled to have you in our troupe." You smile and nod, and [[slip offstage]] as everyone in attendance--even the guards--breathlessly tosses flowers at the stage in between melancholy lovestruck wails.

[Hey!]<shout1| (click: ?shout1)[[That's the real singer!]<shout2|] (click: ?shout2)[[The kid on the stage is a fraud!]<shout3|] (click: ?shout3)[Guards! Throw him overboard! Uh oh. This seems familiar. Time to [[make your exit.|tossedOverboardDiplomats]]]

You carry the tray into the galley and set it down. A man in an apron and chef's toque stands in the corner, frantically chopping vegetables. "Where have you been! We're behind schedule; the stew was supposed to be served hours ago!" he admonishes, without looking up. "You know how to make it by now; go ahead and [[make a pot|base]] now."

Alright. It looks like you'll have to actually cook something to avoid getting spotted. You grab a chef's hat off the wall, pull out a pot and start to make a soup.(set: $soup to (a:)) The first ingredient you'll need is the base. You start by filling the soup pot with: (link: "Chicken broth")[(set: $soup to it + (a: "chicken broth"))(goto: "mainIngredient")] (link: "Heavy cream and roux")[(set: $soup to it + (a: "cream"))(goto: "mainIngredient")] (link: "Vinegar")[(set: $soup to it + (a: "vinegar"))(goto: "mainIngredient")] (css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|mainIngredient]]]

You're relaxing in the corner of the party, quietly enjoying a drink, when suddenly the ship shudders and from topside you hear a deafening crash. A huge iron cannonball smashes through the ceiling, demolishing the stand where the minstrels had been standing just moments before and sending guests scattering in all directions. From above, you hear the helmsman bellowing, "We're being attacked by pirates!" and you're caught up in the mad rush of guests [[jostling their way to the top deck|pirateAttack]].

Sounds delicious. Next, you'll need to add the main ingredient. (link: "Chunks of beef brisket")[(set: $soup to it + (a: "beef"))(goto: "seasoning")] (link: "Coarsely shredded halibut steak")[(set: $soup to it + (a: "fish"))(goto: "seasoning")] (css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|seasoning]]]

Finally, let's add some flavor. In the spice cupboard, you find a few different options. You choose to add: (set: $spicy to 0) (link-repeat: "Add curry (+1)")[(set: $spicy to it + 1)] (link-repeat: "Add cayenne (+2)")[(set: $spicy to it + 2)] (link-repeat: "Add chili powder (+3)")[(set: $spicy to it + 3)] Soup spiciness level: **{(live: 0.1s) [(if: $spicy < 3)[ ####mild ($spicy) ](else-if: $spicy < 6)[ ###medium ($spicy) ](else-if: $spicy < 10)[ ##hot ($spicy) ](else:)[ #DANGER ($spicy) ]]}** When you've added enough seasoning, you [[bring the soup pot out to the party|chooseWine]].

On your way out, you spot a wall full of wine bottles; you remember that the guests wanted more to drink. Before you bring the stew outside, you grab a bottle of: (link: "Shiraz")[(set: $wine to "red")(goto: "serve")] (link: "Chardonnay")[(set: $wine to "white")(goto: "serve")] (link: "Cabernet Sauvignon")[(set: $wine to "red")(goto: "serve")] (link: "Sauvignon Blanc")[(set: $wine to "white")(goto: "serve")] (link: "Pinot Noir")[(set: $wine to "red")(goto: "serve")] (link: "Viognier")[(set: $wine to "white")(goto: "serve")] (css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|serve]]]

You return to the party, where the guests are visibly restless. "We've been waiting! Have you brought the main course?" asks one. "Yes," you reply, "I've prepared a stew with **(print: $soup's 1st)** and **(print: $soup's 2nd)**. And, I've brought a bottle of $wine wine for you to enjoy." You set the wine on the table, and [begin serving]<outcome| bowls of stew for the starved customers. (click: ?outcome)[(set: $angryGuests to false) (if: $spicy > 5)["Wow!" exclaims one of the minstrels, "This stew has some kick to it!" ] "Hmm, that (print: $soup's 2nd) is cooked to perfection." remarks a noble. (if: ($wine is "red" and $soup's 2nd is "fish") or ($wine is "white" and $soup's 2nd is "beef"))["Rather gauche to pair it with $wine wine, though, don't you think?" asks another. "Certainly! What kind of sous chef are you!?" The room begins to grumble and give you some nasty looks. (set: $angryGuests to true) ](else:)[And well paired with the $wine wine as well!" offers another. ] (if: $spicy >= 10)[Suddenly, the guests begin groaning and clawing at their tongues. "MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE," shouts one terrified diplomat. It took a moment, but all that spice in the dish finally caught up to them. Each of the guests begins to frantically spit out the spicy stew. (set: $angryGuests to true) ] (if: $angryGuests)[Every eye in the party swivels to glare at you. Perhaps you have more to learn about fine cooking. At that moment, the chef comes out of the kitchen and sees you and the angry partygoers. "Who are you?" he asks, bewildered. "You're not my sous chef!" "He must be a stowaway!" shouts a guest, rushing to the toilet to spit out his stew. [["Guards! Throw him overboard!|tossedOverboardDiplomats]]" ](else:)[The guests all smile warmly and line up to congratulate you. Even the ship's guards come down to have a bowl. At that moment, the chef comes out of the galley and notices you--you're not his sous chef! At first he appears angry, but then he sees the smiling eyes of the nobles scattered around the party. He walks over to you in front of the pot and pats you on the shoulder. "I don't know who you are, but you've got potential as a chef! Suddenly, the ship shudders and from topside you hear a [[deafening crash...|pirateAttack]] ] ]

As the ship's guards burst forth from their quarters off to the side, you decide that you don't plan to stick around for the after-party. You dash up the stairs to the main deck, only to find dozens more guards, heavily armed, emerging from trapdoors in the deck. Trapped again. You make a mad dash for the rigging and start climbing, but as you get higher you realize that now you're really cornered; the only way to go is up. As you reach the crow's nest with the ship's guards closing in, you're wondering how cold the water is when you spot something from across the water: A small, unassuming brigantine, with ominous, inky black sails hoist to the breeze, is bearing down upon the diplomatic envoy ship. Suddenly, your ship shudders, and you hear a deafening crash--the pirates have fired their cannons, and blown a sizeable hole in the top deck quite near the room you had been in just a minute before. Most of the guards fall off the rigging into the sea, but the last one hasn't forgotten about you. He reaches the top of the rigging and catches you, ties your hands, and carries you back [[down to the deck|pirateAttack]].

The pirate ship glides silently up to match the speed of the envoy, and the terrified nobles watch as the crew of the pirate ship lowers a boarding bridge onto the deck, and an intimidating figure in a broad red coat and tricorn hat strides across. He stands silent for a moment, sizing up the array of dapper lords and ladies quaking in their boots before him, then speaks in a voice like the creaking and cracking of a mast in a gale. "Alright you lubbers, I know what sort of pleasure cruise this is. Ye be wealthy, important sods back on land. I know I could rob you all blind and leave you at the bottom of the sea, and I still might. [[But I've got another idea.]]"

Ye see, My crew and I are feeling generous, and we know that your sorry hides are worth far more to your government than anything you've got in your pockets. So we'll make you a deal: Let us pick one of you as a hostage, and the rest of you can go on your merry way. (if: $angryGuests)[(click: "pick one")[The nobles look at each other, then one speaks up. "We'd like to volunteer [[this child]] for you to take hostage," he announces, shoving you forward into the circle of onlookers. The emmissaries all suppress a snicker--it's obvious to them that you're nobody important, and they think they can fool the pirate captain into sailing away, saving their own skins. (if: $spicy>=10)["You should take some of this stew, too...I'm sure you're starving..." More suppressed snickers.]]] (if: not $angryGuests)[(click: "pick one")[The nobles look at each other, but no one speaks up. "I think," he says, peering menacingly around the circle, "I'll take [[this child]] with me." The lords and ladies all gasp--they're all so fond of you now, it pains them to see you taken hostage.]]

The captain wastes no time in scooping you up and tossing you across the gap to his crew waiting aboard his ship. (if: $spicy >= 10)[One of the pirate crewmates scurries belowdecks and grabs the pot of stew and carries it back with him.] The pirate ship speeds away, leaving the nobles' yacht behind. "So," asks the pirate captain, "what sort of ransom can I get for you?" "Are you a prince?" "A general's son?" "A duke's nephew?" the sailors ask eagerly. "[[I'm nobody,]]" you reply. "I've just got swept up in this, I don't know what's happening."

"Argh!" the pirate captain shouts in frustration. $angryGuests["I knew those greasy politicians were playing me!] (if: not $angryGuests)["I knew we should have just robbed them all!] Come on then. I suppose I'll still get some use out of you as my cabin boy. They don't seem to last me very long. Now: What use are you to me, boy? (if: ($specialty is "music") and $angryGuests)[[[I can sing for you and the crew.|babygotback]]](else-if: $spicy >= 10)[[[I can cook for the crew. Here, I made this stew you brought aboard.|stew]]](else:)["No matter." He picks you up and carries you over his shoulder into his study. As he locks the door behind him, you hear him muttering--"[[I can deal with you later.|escaperoom]]"]

"Aye, it has been a while since we had some good festivities, Cap'n," interjects one of the sailors. "Aye! Bring out the booze and the lute and fife! We'll have a party after all, and this little bird will sing all night long." The captain nods his approval, and the pirates tie you to the mast, and the two of them break out their instruments. You [begin]<begin| the same song you performed for the nobles. (click: ?begin)[**[[I like big butts and I cannot lie...]]**]

"Aye, we're starving, captain. Some fine stew does sound like just the thing right now." announces a crewman. The other sailors grumble in agreement. "Alright, get your bowls. We'll eat well tonight." The captain ties your left arm to the mast, leaving your right free to serve the stew, while the rest of the crew scurries off to get bowls, as each one comes up to you, you serve them a healthy dollop of stew, and once they're all served, they begin greedily [[gulping it down|aftermath]].

Inventory: $inv You look around the room. On the wall to the left, you see a [[shelf]], a rusty [[cutlass]] hanging on a plaque, and a [[dresser]]. Straight ahead, there's a [[hat stand]] bedecked with tricorn hats, a wooden [[sea chest]], a parrot in a wire [[cage]], and a [[window]] looking out over the sea. On the right, you see a [[bookcase]] and a large [[map]] spread across the wall above a [[desk]] strewn with nautical equipment. On the wall behind you, there is an [[end table]], a [[portrait]], and a heavy oak [[door]]. (if: $timeLeft is 0)[(set: $timeLeft to 300)(set: $inv to (ds:))](live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

The sailors begin drinking and partying. The song has quite the opposite effect on these rowdy sailors--they love it and ask to hear it again and again, all night long, as bottle after bottle of rum is emptied. A few hours later, the whole crew lies passed out on the deck, and you can slowly begin to [[slip free]] of your restraints...

You make your way to the helm, when you realize you don't know where to sail. Do you: [[Take the ship back to port?]] [[Toss the incapacitated captain overboard and take his place?]]

When you arrive, the ship is immediately boarded by soldiers, who lock up the pirates and take you back to safety. For your help in vanquishing the pirates, your past crimes and thefts are forgiven, and you return to a normal life with a fantastic story to tell.

You don the captain's broad tricorn hat. It's a little big for you, but you'll grow into it.You then proceed to push the captain off the back of the ship. The disgruntled crew agree to follow your leadership, and you begin an unprecedented reign of piracy across the high seas. It's a dangerous life you've picked, but it finally feels like home.

A few minutes later, the crew begin to realize something was wrong. "You've poisoned me!" shouts one sailor. He raises his cutlass and is about to slice you to ribbons, when suddenly he is overcome by the need to run to the railing and retch all the soup into the sea. Where the genteel nobles had only a sip of the perilously spicy stew, and spat it out as soon as they realized what they had eaten, the pirates showed no such restraint, and all gulped down seconds. Soon the captain and all his crew are groaning and twitching on the deck. They won't be bothering you for a while--now's your chance to [[slip free]]

(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft] The door clicks open, and the captain returns with a chain with a cuff and an iron ball. He locks it around your ankle, and conspicuously tosses the key off the balcony. "That's what'll happen to you, if I'm not pleased with your performance, and I doubt you'll float too well at the moment." Cabin boys for this captain don't tend to last long--they're usually either worked to death or killed--you'll probably have a month or so left before one of those two happens. "Now, I've got a burr on my foot, better give me a foot massage." [[Try the escape room again.|escaperoom]]

A wooden shelf nailed into the wall. On it are a globe and and a glass eye in a jar. Inspect globe Inspect glass eye (click-replace: "Inspect globe")[There's not much to see.] (click-replace: "Inspect glass eye")[That's gross, I can't use this.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A rusty cutlass welded onto a plaque, firmly nailed into the wall. Inspect cutlass (click-replace: "Inspect cutlass")[You pull as hard as you can, but it won't budge.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

An elaborate wooden dresser with three drawers. On top is a framed sketch of a woman. Inspect top drawer Inspect middle drawer Inspect bottom drawer Inspect sketch (click-replace: "Inspect top drawer")[It's full of red tailcoats.] (click-replace: "Inspect middle drawer")[It's full of red tailcoats.] (click-replace: "Inspect bottom drawer")[It's full of red tailcoats, and underneath them all there's a (link: 'note: "pull the skull"')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'note: "pull the skull"'))]] (click-replace: "Inspect sketch")[Hmm, it seems like that woman might be really important to the captain--and there's another picture of her on the wall!] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

It's covered in tricorn hats. Inspect hats (click-replace:"Inspect hats")[These won't help me.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

It's unlocked. Open chest (click-replace: "Open chest")[It's full of (link: 'dynamite.')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'dynamite'))]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A cage containing a parrot bedecked in colorful plumage. Inspect parrot (click-replace: "Inspect parrot")[It screeches, and you jump back. What exactly will this stupid bird do for you?] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

The window is blocked by iron bars. No way of getting around them. The sea beyond is beautiful, though. Inspect view (click-replace: "Inspect view")[Wow, that sure is a nice view, as the full moon flickers on the still black sea and seagulls drift lazily through the starry sky, and...what were we doing again?] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A tall bookcase, full of books that might be fascinating to read one day. Holding up one of the stacks of books is a crystal skull. Inspect books Inspect skull (click-replace: "Inspect books")[These look fascinating--maybe I'll read these later.] (if: 'note: "pull the skull"' is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect skull")[You twist the crystal skull. The bookcase slides back, and reveals a lot of (link: 'treasure')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'treasure'))]]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect skull")[That's creepy.]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A map of the surrounding area. Inspect map (click-replace: "Inspect map")[You don't know where you are, so this doesn't really help.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

There's a sextant, a compass, some tide charts, and a lock box. Inspect sextant Inspect compass Inspect tide charts Inspect lock box (click-replace: "Inspect sextant")[hehe, that's a funny name.] (click-replace: "Inspect compass")[Apparently we're heading west.] (click-replace: "Inspect tide charts")[I think the tide is coming in?] (if: "heart-shaped key" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect lock box")[You insert a heart-shaped key. It opens to reveal a (link: 'heavy iron key')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'heavy iron key'))]]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect lock box")[It won't open. It looks like it takes a heart-shaped key.]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A small end table. There's a bowl on top. Inspect bowl (click-replace: "Inspect bowl")[It's empty. It looks like he usually puts his keys here, but he's outside. Maybe he has spares?] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

A portrait in a gold frame of a redheaded woman in an admiral's hat and a low-cut leather corset brandishing pistols. Inspect woman Inspect hat Inspect corset Inspect pistols Inspect frame (click-replace: "Inspect woman")[She looks like she and the captain might be related somehow.] (click-replace: "Inspect hat")[Clearly she's in charge.] (click-replace: "Inspect corset")[I think your priorities are a little out of whack.] (click-replace: "Inspect pistols")[Those look dangerous.] (click-replace: "Inspect frame")[You pull on the frame, and the portrait swings aside to reveal a (link: 'heart-shaped key')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'heart-shaped key'))] stuck to the back.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

The heavy wooden door is locked. It looks like it might take a heavy, iron key. Inspect door (if: "heavy iron key" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect door")[You insert the heavy iron key, take a deep breath and open the door, [[stepping out]] onto the deck]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect door")[Yep. definitely locked.]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timer to it + 1)(set: $timeLeft to 300 - $timer)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|escaperoom]]]][(event: when $timer is 300)[(go-to: "escapeRoomFail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|escapeRoomFail]]]]

You tiptoe out onto the deck. Most of the crew is sleeping, and the captain is up at the stern, rummaging around in a chest. You hop on board a rowboat and hoist yourself down into the water. (if: $inv contains "dynamite")[As you row away, you call out: "So long, sucker!" The pirate captain hears you, runs to the railing and has just enough time to spot you and shake his fist in frustration before the **dynamite** you found in his study (and lit before you left) blows his ship to smithereens.] After hours of rowing, you wash up [[on land.]]

(if: "treasure" is in $inv)[The handful of gold and jewels you took from behind the pirate captain's bookcase are enough that you never have to steal again, and you can afford yourself a tidy little house in the city.] (if: $specialty is "music")[The lords and ladies aboard the ship seek you out, and their love of your music is so great that you find a long and profitable career as a minstrel.] (if: $specialty is "food")[The lords and ladies aboard the ship were so impressed with the stew you made, that you gain international renown as a chef and are able to start your own restaurant.]

"But," he barks as he suddenly stands up. "You'll have to do more than running away to prove your mettle. A life aboard this ship is a dangerous one, and we've no room for wealkings. I think I'll give you a chance to prove yourself. You've two choices, lad. Will it be a [[test of strength]] or a [[test of speed]] to prove you're worthy to join my crew?"

"Aye, a contest of strength." The pirates all cheer, and one steps forward. "How about this little whelp try to best me in a wrestle of arms?" The captain nods his approval, and a bench is brought forward. The pirate who volunteered sits down and readies his arm. He looks pretty burly, but these sailors have all been surviving on hardtack biscuits for months, and as a thief you stayed fit and ate pretty well on land. You think you might be able to beat him. (as soon as you click "start", click as fast as you can to push your opponent's arm towards the table. A bar will appear showing the progress of the match. If it reaches the left, you lose; if it reaches the right, you win.)(set: $winProgress to 25) (css:"text-align: center; user-select: none;")[#[Start!]<push|] (click: "Start!")[(replace: ?push)[(link-repeat: "Push!")[(set:$winProgress to it + 2)(replace: ?barVoid)[(str-repeated: (ceil:(50 - $winProgress)/2), "⚪")](replace: ?bar)[(str-repeated: (floor:$winProgress/2), "⚫")]]](live: 0.4s)[(set: $winProgress to it - 3)(replace: ?barVoid)[(str-repeated: (ceil:(50 - $winProgress)/2), "⚪")](replace: ?bar)[(str-repeated: (floor:$winProgress/2), "⚫")]]] []<bar|[]<barVoid| (event: when $winProgress <= 0)[(go-to: "pirateTestFail")] (event: when $winProgress >= 50)[(go-to: "armWrestleVictory")] (set: $deathReason to "exhaustion")(css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|pirateTestFail]][[&nbsp|armWrestleVictory]]]

"A duel, then!" The gathered sailors cheer, and one runs belowdecks and returns with a pair of flintlock pistols. He straps one of them to his belt, and a sailor hangs the other one on your breeches. "I'll count down from three. When I say 'draw,' ye should draw that pistol and try your best to shoot Craven here," says the captain. Craven eyes you menacingly, his hand hovering over his own pistol, and you mirror him while disguising your nerves with bluster. (when you click "start", a countdown will begin. When it says "Draw!" click on the "fire" button that will appear somewhere onscreen before the other duelist shoots you.)(set: $t to 4) (css: "text-align: center;")[#[Start!]<counter|] (click: ?counter)[(live: 1s)[(set: $t to it - 1)(replace: ?counter)[$t]]] (event: when $t is 0)[(replace: ?counter)[Draw!]] (event: when $t is 0)[(css: (either: "text-align: center;","text-align: left;","text-align: right;"))[#[[Fire!]]]] (event: when $t is -1)[(go-to: "pirateTestFail")] (set: $deathReason to "blood loss")(css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|pirateTestFail]]]

"Argh, lad. It's a shame you couldn't join us." One of the sailors picks you up from the deck where you've collapsed of $deathReason and tosses you unceremoniously over the railing. As you sink, you see the pirate ship sailing away into the distance... [[Try again|he could be of use to us]]

You reach down as fast as you can, aim and fire. There's a deafening **BANG**, and you're propelled backwards by the recoil. You close your eyes and remain still. There's a moment of silence. You cautiously look up... (click: "look up")[and the whole crew explodes into thunderous cheering. The other duelist is sitting on a barrel, bandaging his wounded arm. You inspect your own body--not a scratch! "Congratulations, me boy," declares teh captain, beaming as he approaches you. "Yer grip could use work, but yer aim is top notch!" He leads you [[into his study]] at the other end of the ship. "Come on, me hearties!" he hollers to the crew. "We've got work to do, and our newest crewmember needs to be brought up to speed!"]

Bellowing with a colossal final effort, you push the arm-wrestler's hand to the table. The assembled sailors all cheer and throw their hats in the air, and your defeated opponent sulks off, clutching his sore bicep. The crew all pick you up onto their shoulders and one bedecks your head with a little tricorn hat of your own. "Congratulations, me boy," declares the captain, beaming as he approaches you. "Even I wouldn't fancy me chances against you right now!" He leads you [[into his study]] at the other end of the ship. "Come on, me hearties!" he hollers to the crew. "We've got work to do, and our newest crewmember needs to be brought up to speed!"]

The crew all files in to the captain's ornate, dimly lit office. On the wall, next to a portait of a redheaded woman brandishing pistols, is a huge map of islands and ocean currents with a route plan highlighted in red. The captain pulls a cutlass from his belt and brandishes it at a spot on the map. "Here," he announces, is our current position. In one hour's time, the northeasterly current will carry us **here,** into position to intercept the good ship //Queen Maeve,// a pleasure craft belonging to the Marquis de Montalban and crammed full of overstuffed nobles and their fine belongings. Tonight, we shall board the craft, and deprive them of their un-earned wealth! A few hours later, the golden yacht drifts into view. There's not much activity; most of the lights are belowdeck enjoying a party. You're excited, but a little anxious. The stakes here are so much higher than the petty theft you're used to back in the city. "Nervous, lad?" The captain strides up to you. "A little," you reply. "Well," he says, as if reciting a well-practiced speech. "If you've got qualms, it's best to think of it this way: What's in there is ours. It belongs to us. They took our money; our hard-earned gold. Maybe they snuck in while you were sleeping, took the breeches off the chair and emptied your coinpurse." The pep talk really gets you in the spirit for robbery, and you respond enthusiastically, "Let's go in there and [[get what's ours!]]"

The pirate ship speeds alongside the leisure craft, and your new crew begins streaming across the boarding bridge, shouting and brandishing pistols. The bewildered aesthetes and socialites don't put up much of a fight, and each begins to hand over their valuables. when the captain approaches with a sword in one hand and a collection envelope in the other. Diamond earrings from one, a platinum pocket-watch from another; bearer bonds, military plans, fine paintings--all disappearing into the overstuffed envelope. Once you've made the rounds of the passengers, the captain hands you the envelope. "Hear that jingle, boy? That's the sound of prosperity." However at that moment, to the surprise of the whole crew, an alarm sounds and dozens of heavily armed guards awake from their slumber in their quarters and begin pouring out of every trapdoor in the deck. Your crew fights heartily, but it rapidly becomes clear that no victory is in sight. The captain calls for a retreat back to the boat, and you follow, but as you're heading back one of the guards snatches you up. "Thought you could get away, eh?" he sneers. The pirate ship blitzes off out of cannon range, as the crew looks forlornly over the rail at the figure carrying you down into the yacht's [[brig]]--with the envelope full of the spoils of the raid.

You don't know how ling you've been waiting in this cell, before a man with a smartly trimmed mustache and an immaculate white uniform steps into the yacht's brig. The heavy steel door makes an ominous echo as he shuts it behind him. "Good evening!" he exclaims as though you were merely on opposite sides of s shop counter rather than a wall of iron bars. "I am, at your service, the Marquis de la Montalban: admiral, diplomat, genius and philanthropist. And you, my dear boy, have something of value to me." You look up in confusion. "Oh, don't play the fool dear boy, you can't pull it off. I don't mean the envelope full of goodies. That's in the evidence storage for now, and we'll be handing it all back to its rightful owners when we get into port. I mean that damn captain Peter MacPadraig. He's been harassing my fleet and hustling traders in these waters for years, and we can never seem to catch him. But you, dear boy, have been close to him. So, I'd like to offer you a [[proposal]]."

He stands up, ramrod straight, and gazes out the window. "In a few minutes, we'll be back in port. That pirate ship is still hanging back, just out of our cannon range, but once we're back in the docks he won't dare stick around much longer." He turns around and stares you square in the eye, his mustache almost curling of its own accord from sheer determination. "In ordinary circumstances, your crimes would put you behind bars for the rest of your life, and that life might not be too long. However, I'm willing to make an exception. If you can give me any information that leads to the capture of its captain, your crimes will be forgiven and you can live out your days in peace." The Marquis crouches down to your eye level. "I can tell by the look in your eyes that you've got something for me. So, what's it going to be, sonny?" [[Describe the plans and routes you saw on the map in the Captain's study|navyEnding]] [[Spit in the Marquis's perfectly waxed mustache|spit]]

You tell the Marquis everything you saw on board, from start to finish, including a detailed account of the scribbles and curlicues covering the map in the Captain's study. He listens intently, taking careful notes. "This is good. Your cooperation is deeply appreciated," he intones as he strides out through the heavy iron door of the brig. A day or so later, he returns and produces a pair of keys from a hook on the wall. "You're a free man," he announces, unlocking the bars of your cell. "We tracked down that little ship. It now lies at the bottom of the sea." You step out into the sunlight and realize that //all// your records have been cleared; even the life of crime you lived before. You look to the Marquis: "Is your Navy in need of new sailors?" A few weeks later, you've got yourself a bunk aboard the Navy's newest, greandest flagship. It's got its troubles, but it pays a living wage, and you find yourself glad to be working an honest job for the first time.

Inventory: $inv You look around the room. In your cell, there's a [[trash can]], a [[bucket]] and some [[puddles]] on the floor. Your cell is separated from the rest of the brig by [[iron bars]]. On the other side, there is a [[porthole]] with light streaming in. A [[safe]] stands in the corner below a cork [[bulletin board]]. A set of [[keys]] hang on a hook nearby. Against the opposite wall there sits a [[spitoon]], a [[painting]] of the Marquis, and a [[steel door]] blocking the way out. (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

You hear the familiar bells of the docks through the porthole. Two soldiers come into the brig and drag you away in chains to face justice. If only you had [[one more chance...|spit]]

There's a trash can. Inspect trash (click-replace: "Inspect trash")[You find (link: 'tissues')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'tissue'))], (link: 'cigarette butts')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'cigarette butt'))], a (link: 'broken spoon')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'broken spoon'))], and a (link: 'stick')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'stick'))]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

A set of heavy iron bars separate your cell from the jailer's office. Inspect bars Inspect padlock (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]] (if: $barsLocked)[(click-replace: "Inspect bars")[The bars won't budge. They're locked in place with a brass padlock.]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect bars")[The bars now slide freely open.]] (if: "brass keys" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect padlock")[You try a few keys before finding the one that opens the lock. It (link: "clicks")[(set: $barsLocked to false), and the bars will now slide freely.]]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect padlock")[Yep. definitely locked.]]

Light streams through a porthole. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't inspect it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ Inspect view (click-replace: "Inspect view")[Wow, that sure is a nice view, as the ships drift lazily across the bay, and...what were we doing again?] ] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

A huge safe sits in the corner. There's a bulletin board. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't reach it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ Inspect safe ] (if: "stick" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect safe")[The safe accepts the code and clicks open, revealing the (link: 'envelope of booty')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'booty'))]]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect safe")[You can't open it. Maybe the combination is posted somewhere.]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

There's a rusty steel bucket sitting haphazardly in the corner of your cell. Inspect bucket (click-replace: "Inspect bucket")[You immediately wish you hadn't inspected the bucket. What the hell has that been used for?] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

Some grey, bilgey puddles trickle across your cell floor. Inspect puddles (click-replace: "Inspect puddles")[Eurgh, smells like the bucket is leaking.] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

The heavy steel door is locked. You saw the Marquis open it with a matching steel key. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't inspect it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ Inspect door ] (if: "steel key" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect door")[You insert the key and [[make a run for it]].]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect door")[Yep. definitely locked.]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

A brass spitoon sits by the door. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't inspect it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ Inspect spitoon (click-replace: "Inspect spitoon")[It's full of used chewing tobacco. Underneath it, there's a (link: 'steel key.')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'steel key'))]] ] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

There's a portrait of the marquis. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't inspect it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ What a pompous prick. ] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

There's a bulletin board. (if: $barsLocked)[You can't reach it because the bars are locked. ](else:)[ Inspect notes ] (click-replace: "Inspect notes")[Most of the notes aren't important, but one reads (link: 'safe code: 02-23-99')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'safe code'))]] (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]]

There's a set of keys hanging on the wall. Inspect keys (live: 1s)[(set: $timeLeft to it - 1)(css: "text-align: center")[#$timeLeft [[back|er2]]]][(event: when $timeLeft is 0)[(go-to: "er2Fail")](css:"font-size:1px;")[[[&nbsp|er2Fail]]]] (if: "stick" is in $inv)[(click-replace: "Inspect keys")[You get the (link: 'brass keys')[(set: $inv to it + (ds: 'brass keys'))]]](else:)[(click-replace: "Inspect keys")[You can't quite reach them, maybe with some tool.]]

"Bah!" barks the Marquis, visibly incensed. He wipes his face with a satin kerchief from his breast pocket, then strides out the door. As he leaves, he shouts back down the hall, "No matter. You'll [[not have much longer|er2]] until we reach port; then you're through." (set: $timeLeft to 300)(set: $barsLocked to true)(set: $inv to (ds:))

You sprint out of the brig, and before anybody can stop you, you leap overboard and start swimming toward the black-sailed ship in the distance. When you arrive onboard, you are welcomed with open arms by the captain and crew. (if: "booty" is in $inv)[They are overjoyed that you've brought back the stolen goods. The proceeds from the robbery finance your piracy operation for years to come, and over time you are promoted to first mate and eventually take over for the captain before retiring to a life of luxury.](else:)[ The crew is disappointed that you've lost their booty, but they move on. You remain a crewmember for the rest of your life, and live a comfortable existence on the run from the law.]