You're at a movie theater, watching something called [[Murder Monkeys 2: Apeshit]] with your friend [[Henry]].You haven't seen the first one, but the plot is still easy to follow. Basically, a scientist at an animal research lab spills a vial of a "murder gene" into the monkey food. The monkeys that eat it all become 10 feet tall and bloodthirsty, rabid for revenge against the scientists. [[Henry's->Henry]] eyes are glued to the screen, and he giggles at every jumpscare. It's a little intense for you, but it hasn't been too bad [[so far.->Screech]]You met Henry in one of your classes a few months ago. You have a lot of things in common, but enjoying horror films is not one of them. It was his idea to see this [[movie->Murder Monkeys 2: Apeshit]].''EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK! OOOOOK OOK OOK!''
[[Oh shit.]]You're [[peeing]] your pants.It's too late to stop it. You've finished about 40 ounces of your 44-ounce soda, and you'd been holding it in for a while now. In your defense, that jumpscare would've caught anyone off guard. That knife-wielding monkey came out of nowhere.
[[Spill the rest of the soda in your lap to disguise the pee.->Spill]]
[[Act like nothing has happened.->Act]]Henry doesn't react immediately, but you hear him sniff a few times and turn in your direction. You keep your eyes forward and hope he forgets by the [[end of the movie.->end of movie]]You let your soda cup fall into your lap, and the last 4 ounces spill out. Henry doesn't notice.
[[Tap him on the shoulder to make sure he sees.->Tap]]He turns to you. You gesture towards the spilled cup on your lap and put on your best "Aw, man! Look at this mess that just happened accidentally!" face. He laughs and shakes his head. He's totally convinced, and you can relax for [[the rest of the movie.->end of movie]]Ten minutes later, a monkey that's somehow found and learned how to use a flamethrower has murdered the last scientist, and the lights of the theater come on. You look down, and the evidence of your crime is exposed. You look up at Henry, and his eyes are already on the unmistakably dark yellow puddle at your feet.
"Oh my god. Did you pee your pants?"
[["No. That was already here when we sat down!" (1% chance of success)->insist.]]
[["Yes, but not because I was scared!" (2% chance of success)->Yes, but]]"I just drank too much soda, and I loved the movie so much that I didn't want to leave!" you [[insist.]]He laughs. "Sure, dude, whatever you say. We can watch something more family-friendly next time. Now please get to the bathroom and try to dry yourself off before you get back in my car."
{(set: $chance to (random: 0,100))}
You can't let this go. You can't let him think you're some baby who can't handle Murder Monkeys 2.
(if: $chance < 50)[[Stand up in your puddle of shame and defend yourself. (50%)->Stand success]](if: $chance > 49)[[Stand up in your puddle of shame and defend yourself. (50%)]]You slip in the puddle and fall on your stomach, getting the whole front of your shirt wet.
"I wasn't scared!" you say, a little too loud. Other people in the theater are looking at you now.
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 50) [[Oh god. Don't start crying (50%)->Crying success]](if: $chance > 49)[[Oh god. Don't start crying (50%)->Crying fail]]Up on your feet now, you feel a little less self-conscious. Even if you are still covered in pee.
"I wasn't scared," you say. "I can totally handle horror movies."
He glances at the stain on your pants, the puddle at your feet, and then back up at you. He doesn't look convinced.
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 75) [[Oh god. Don't start crying (75%)->Crying success]](if: $chance > 74)[[Oh god. Don't start crying (75%)->Crying fail]]Goddamnit. The tears are flowing now, and you're just as powerless to stop them as you were to stop the pee. Now the other people in the theater are avoiding eye contact with you and somehow that's even worse. You desperately need to redeem yourself.
[[promise.]] Great, you've held back your tears. You're a paragon of dignity. You just need to [[convince Henry that you're tough.->promise.]]
"I'll prove to you I'm not scared of anything! I'll even go inside that [[mysterious building we found in the swamp]] last week."
Henry looks exhausted. It's no longer funny to him, he just wants to go home. "You really don't need to do that."
He's probably right, but you already said you would, and you can't afford to have people think you're both a coward and a liar. Plus, if you can handle that place in the swamp, you'll be the toughest and coolest guy in town. You could probably even start doing cool stuff like wearing leather jackets and riding your bike without a helmet.
[[Hell yeah. That sounds awesome. Commit to it.]]Last week, you and Henry were hiking in the swamp near his house (swamps are one of your many shared interests). You came across an ancient-looking structure jutting out from the ground at an odd angle. It rose about 15 feet out of the ground, and was made of some kind of pale yellow stone you didn't recognize. It had six corners that flared out and curled a little, like starfish arms, and it got narrower at the top.
You saw a broad entrance on one side of it. It was dark inside, and a current of warm air that smelled like rotten meat spilled out from it. Even Henry wouldn't get close to it. If you [[prove you can keep your composure->promise.]] inside a place like that, it would definitely make up for peeing your pants."I'm going inside that swamp building if it's the last thing I do. Meet me there at this time [[tomorrow.]]"
(set: $composure to 5)
(set: $compsent to "blank")The next day, you're standing in front of the strangely shaped tower in the swamp with Henry. The entrance, which is tilted slightly to your left along with the rest of the structure, looms over you. The smell of rot is oppressively strong, and the humid air spilling out of it makes it hard to breathe.
Check your composure.(click-replace: "Check your composure.")[$compsent
[["Here I go! I'm just gonna waltz right in there and I'm not scared at all! I'll even stay inside for a whole five minutes!"]]
[[Don't say anything, just give Henry a little nod and start walking inside. You'll look cooler that way.->Step inside.]]
[["Maybe this was a mistake. Not that I'm scared, but this place seems lame."]]
]
(if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")]
(if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")]
(if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")]
(if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")]
(if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]"Are you serious? You made such a big deal out of it at the theater. You're really gonna back out after you made me come all the way out here?"
He's right, you have to go in. You can't keep embarrassing yourself in front of Henry like this.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1)
//You're beginning to feel pretty nervous. This is scary. (4)//
[[Step inside.]]"I'm glad you're so confident. I'll be waiting right here with your trophy."
[[Step inside.]]You step inside the entrance. It's still almost pitch black in front of you, and you can barely make out the yellow stone floor at your feet. You're suddenly reminded of how your pee looked on the movie theater floor.
Keep it together.
[[Turn on your flashlight.]]
(if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")]
(if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")]
(if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")]
(if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")]
(if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]A staircase winds down below you. The steps are unnaturally big, almost as high as your knee. Behind you, Henry starts to say something.
"What can you see? How long are you going to stay in there?"
[["I see a staircase, and-"]]Before you can finish your sentence, something happens to the walls. They soundlessly expand around you, closing off the entrance from both sides in an instant. Then they retract to their original positions, but the entrance is gone. You're surrounded by six smooth walls.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1)(if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
$compsent
[[Henry?!]]
[[Look around.]]The staircase takes up most of the room, and you can't see very far down it because it turns sharply. You trace your fingers on the walls (which are surprisingly warm), but there's no gap, not even a seam where the entrance used to be. The only feature is a tiny [[hole]] on the wall a few inches above your head."Holy shit, are you okay? Can you get out?" His voice is muffled, barely loud enough to hear.
You're fine physically, but emotionally you're pretty close to pissing your pants again. Just tell him the first part.
[[I'm okay, but I don't see a way out!]]"I can't see anything from the outside, either! [[Look around->Look around.]], tell me what you see!"You shine your flashlight on the hole. It's difficult to see inside from below it, but it looks like there's some complex geometry in there. It could be some kind of keyhole. For now, it's your best bet.
[[Tell Henry.]]"I found something that might be a keyhole, but no key!" you yell.
"Well," Henry replies, "I guess you'll have to go down the [[stairs]] and look for one. I'll wait right here."You turn to the giant stairs and lean around to see where they lead, but all you see so far is more winding stairs. This is turning into more of an ordeal than you thought. On the bright side, though, your street cred will definitely benefit from this extra adventure if you manage to get through it with dry pants.
//Check your composure.//(click-replace: "Check your composure.")[$compsent]
[[Call down the stairs.]]
[[Climb down quietly.->Down]]"Hello? Is anybody here? How scary is it down there?"
You listen, but there's no sound. Not even an [[echo.]]Until about five seconds later, when you hear, "Hewwo? Is anyone hewe? How scawy is it down thewe???"
That wasn't an echo. It sounded more guttural and slower than when you said it. Plus, you're pretty sure your voice isn't that high and whiny.(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
$compsent
[[Go down the stairs.->Down]]You clamber down the stairs, trying but failing keep quiet. Not only are they all too big for you, but each one seems to be a slightly different size from the last. By the time you finally reach the bottom, you've worked up a sweat and your knees and elbows are scratched up.
You've ended up in a claustrophobic room with a high ceiling. The walls are made of the same yellowish stone as the entrance, only now it seems to be pulsing a little, and giving off a warmth you can feel without even touching it. You can see [[a passage]] on your left, and [[two glints]] looking at you from the dark on your right.
//Check your composure.//(click-replace: "Check your composure.")[$compsent]You enter a large, empty room, and sweep your flashlight across it. You can't see walls on any side of you.
Somewhere ahead, you hear a monkey screech.(click-replace: "monkey screech.")[(set: $composure to 1)monkey screech.
$compsent
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 90) [[Walk forward. (90%)->walksuc]](if: $chance > 89)[[[Walk forward. (90%)->walkfail]]]
]
Way to go. You're peeing your pants again.
You were supposed to redeem yourself for what happened at the theater, but this escapade has only reinforced your reputation as a pants-wetter.
[[Restart at the entrance to the tower.->tomorrow.]]
[[Stay in this gross swamp building and resign yourself to your new life as a subterranean pee-person.->stay]]The blob nods. It leans forward to give you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, then steps aside.
(set: $composure to $composure + 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
(if: $composure is 0)[[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]](else:)[$compsent
[[Thank him and go through the archway.->final]]]The blob lurches backward, then forward, slapping you in the face. Then it slurps past you indignantly. You must have offended it.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
(if: $composure is 0)[[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]](else:)[$compsent
[[Go through the archway.->final]]]You're in a long hallway with two exits side by side at the opposite end. The stench of rot here is almost suffocating, and you can hear something above you.(click-replace: "something above you.")[something above you.
It's a wet, squelching sound, with some kind of faint and sporadic hum underneath it. It fills the room, like it's coming from the entire long ceiling at once.
//Check your composure.//(click-replace: "Check your composure.")[$compsent]
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 75) [[Hurry across the room without looking. It can't be anything pleasant. (75%)->dontlooksuccess]](if: $chance > 74)[[Hurry across the room without looking. It can't be anything pleasant. (75%)->dontlookfailure]]
[[Look up. (?)]]
]You turn your flashlight to the right, and you see that the glints belong to a set of large, wet, angry-looking eyes. The face could almost pass for human, but you can count at least six arms coming out of its crouched body, all of them tensed and quivering.
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 55) [[Give it a little nod and say, "Sup?" (55%)->supcess]](if: $chance > 54)[[Give it a little nod and say, "Sup?" (55%)->supfailure]]
[[Ignore it, and go through the passage on your left.->a passage]]It returns the nod, and whispers "Sup?" back to you. Its arms relax, and so do you.(set: $composure to $composure + 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
$compsent
[[Go through the passage on your left.->a passage]]It stares at you furiously for a few more seconds, then lets out a blood-curdling howl. It sounds the way your own voice would sound if you were suffering immense pain.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
$compsent
[[He doesn't want to be friends. Leave through the passage.->a passage]]You turn your flashlight towards the ceiling. Directly above your head, a slimy mass is dripping from the ceiling. It's dropping closer towards you as the light catches it, and you see that it has teeth. The entire ceiling is covered in liquid flesh, full of faces stretched into expressions of terror and rage. They're eating each other.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
(if: $composure is 0)[[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]](else:)[$compsent
[[Run for the exit on the left.->left]]
[[Run for the exit on the right.->right.]]]You make it to the end of the gross-sounding hallway without incident. There are two exits in front of you. The one on the [[left]] has a faint light emmitting from it, and you can hear slow breathing from the one on the [[right.]] You find it hard to keep your legs moving with that horrible sound surrounding you. You hesitate, and something brushes against your cheek. It's a tongue, sticking out from a set of jagged and bloody teeth.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
(if: $composure is 0)[[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]](else:)[$compsent
[[Run for the exit on the left.->left]]
[[Run for the exit on the right.->right.]]]The exit on the right leads you to a much smaller room, with a low ceiling. A creature very similar to the one at the bottom of the staircase is here, but much larger. It also has many more limbs, too many (and too tangled) to count.
What you suppose is the thing's torso rises and falls along with the sound of its slow, hoarse breathing. It's asleep.
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 60)[[Sneak past it stealthily. (60%)->sneaksuccess]](if: $chance > 59)[[Sneak past it stealthily. (60%)->sneakyfail]]
[[Wake it up by poking it, so you can ask it to move.->sneakyfail]]Finally, a regular-looking room. You can tell there's nothing hiding on the ceiling, and there are no angry eyes staring at you from the dark. There's just a 9-foot tall translucent blob blocking an archway at the end of the room, which, all things considered, is not too bad.
You approach it, and can see that it's filled with veins carrying tiny bits of colored light: blue, pink, and yellow. It makes a slurping sound, low-pitched at first but higher at the end. It sounds like a question.
//Check your composure.//(click-replace: "Check your composure.")[$compsent]
[["Yes."->blobfail]]
[["No."->blobfail]]
[["What?"->blobfail]]
[[Explain that you peed your pants in a movie theater and need to get out and prove you're not a scaredy-cat.->blobsuccess]]Over time, you learn that the other denizens of the swamp tower aren't so bad once you get to know them. The six-armed thing turns out to be a real jokester, and the giant opalescent blob becomes your best friend. Plus, none of them care when or where you pee.You take about 20 steps forward before you can see anything. Then, at the edge of your flashlight's reach, you begin to make [[something]] out.
[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]It's no bigger than a squirrel, and it's bouncing around like a playful puppy. As you get closer, you see that it is in fact a tiny monkey, but it's hairless and pale. Even its eyes are white. It doesn't seem to mind you, and is chewing on an intricately carved rod. That must be the key to the entrance!
[[Grab the key.->monkeyswarm]]
[[Be nice to it.]]You grab the key and start to pull on it, but the monkey resists. It's stronger than it looks, and you have to use both hands to finally [[yank]] it away.
You extend your hand, and it stops playing with the key to sniff you. You're shaking, but seems to be going well so far.
(set: $chance to (random: 0, 100))
(if: $chance < 60) [[Pet it. (60%)->petsuc]](if: $chance > 59)[[Pet it. (60%)->petfail]]
''OOK OOK EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!''
[[Uh-oh.]]Dozens of tiny hairless monkeys emerge from the darkness. They swarm you, knocking the flashlight out of your hand and leaping onto your body. They start to tear at your clothes, and then your face. They're ripping you apart and eating you alive. As if that weren't bad enough, you're peeing your pants, too!
[[Restart at the entrance to the tower.->tomorrow.]]The monkey appreciates the pet and relaxes, letting go of the key. You pick it up carefully, still petting the monkey, and slip it into your pocket.
[[Wave goodbye to the monkey and leave.]]Your hands are shaking too much, and you accidentally [[poke the innocent little monkey in the eye->yank]].It doesn't wave back, which strikes you as rude, but at least you have the key. All you have to do is [[get back to the entrance.]]None of the tower's denizens give you any trouble on the way back. They must sense your newfound confidence and be too impressed by your dry pants to try anything.
Back at the top of the staircase, you place the key into the slot above your head. The walls contract towards it, then expand, and suddenly you're face to face with Henry again.
"Oh my god," Henry says. "You're back! What happened?"
[["It was like Murder Monkeys 2 times 10!"]]
[[Gesture towards your pants and say, "Check out these bad boys! Not a drop of pee on 'em!"]]"Wow, well I'm glad you're okay! If you can handle getting trapped in that creepy-ass place, horror movies must be no problem for you. Let's see another one next month."
You and Henry head to the mall to find a leather jacket befitting someone of your impeccable dryness."Woah! How cool! I don't think even I could have kept my composure if I'd been trapped in there. I must have been wrong to doubt you at the theater, let's go see another horror movie next month!"
You and Henry head to the mall to find a leather jacket befitting someone of your impeccable dryness.The creature bolts upright, and the gaze of eight angry eyes lands on you. It starts screaming and flailing, and you can't tell at first if it's trying to attack you or just stand up. Your curiosity is satisfied when two of its arms pick you up and throw you against the wall at the other side of the room.
(set: $composure to $composure - 1) (if: $composure is 5)[(set:$compsent to "//Your composure is as strong as can be expected in a place like this. (5)//")](if: $composure is 4)[(set:$compsent to "//You're beginning to get nervous. This is scary. (4)//")](if: $composure is 3)[(set:$compsent to "//Your hands are shaking, and you're extremely on edge. (3)//")](if: $composure is 2)[(set:$compsent to "//This is bad. You've been making mistakes and you're hanging on by a thread. (2)//")](if: $composure is 1)[(set:$compsent to "//You're an absolute wreck. One more scare, and your bladder will let loose. (1)//")]
(if: $composure is 0)[[[Oh shit, not again.->lose]]](else:)[$compsent
On the bright side, you've landed right in front of the [[exit.->final]]]You tiptoe over the creature's many limbs and hope it's having pleasant dreams.
[[Go through the archway.->final]]