2/11/2021
This girl standing next to me... how do I really feel about her? I look at her long brown hair that matches with her caramel skin and deep brown eyes. She was speaking, but the words blurred out because the thoughts in my head were too loud... Hah, maybe I l-
!!!
You hear your name... a familar voice...
[[you look up]]Standing in front of me is a girl who left, or rather disappeared from, my world 3 years ago... my first love.
"Can I talk to you... privately...", she asks.
[["Yeah... what? how?"]]"Come on... I've got a lot to tell you...", she says as she drags you to the trees.
You turn around to [[wave goodbye]], you see her waving back with a stiff smile on her face."How far are we going...", I question out loud.
She lets go of my collar. It's just the two of us standing here under the moonlight. She turns to face me.
"So... did you miss me?", she asks
I take a good look at her. She's taller, more pale, more mature, more beautiful. My feelings were in a stir. I felt emotions and had memories rush back to me.
"So... did you miss me?", she repeated
[["Three years ago... what happened?"]], I immediately responded"Three years ago... I-"
"You disappeared out of nowhere"
"Please just let me-"
[["I don't want to hear it"]]I turn around and start to walk away. She grabs my arm.
"Let me go", I ask her.
"No, please just listen..."
I fling her arm away. I start to sprint, and about 9 steps later, my foot gets caught on something and I [[trip]]*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. So I was running from my ex-girlfriend when suddenly my foot gets caught on something. As my fall head first onto the ground unfolds before my eyes, I wonder if I will get [[knocked the fu-]].
...
.....
I twitch around a little bit... Why does my pillow feel different?
[[I open my eyes]]"Niki...", I mutter.
I feel something tight around my head. My head feels numb but also like it is pulsing.
Wait... Niki? My head is on Niki's lap?
I take a good look at her. She's dozed off. She looks more pale, slimmer, but as pretty and strong as I remembered her.
Am I... dreaming?
[[Reach for her face]]
[[Pinch my own face]]Her skin is soft and smooth. She slowly opens her eyes.
She stares at me
I stare at her
I pull my hand back
Her face turns red
My face feels hot
[[...]]
I pinch my face
Ow... that hurted
Niki's head is slowly dropping. She catches it before it does. Her eyes dart open.
She stares at me
I stare at her
Her face turns red
My face feels hot
[[...]]Our eyes start to wander, avoiding one another
"Are you okay?", she asks
I notice the bandage on my head, and that my head was still on her lap. I sit up.
My head is pounding as if my heart were my brain.
"How are you here?... and what happened to me?"
"You really dont remember?", she responds
"Remember what?"
[["Well.."]]...
"Sounds like something an idiot like I would do", I reply
"But that still doesn't tell me how or why you are here"
"Get some rest for today, I'll come look for you tomorrow, we can sit down and I'll explain everything"
[[I head back to my dorm]]I get some work done, shower, relax for a bit, then lay in bed.
I try to go to sleep, but I can't stop thinking about Niki. Why did she suddenly disappear 3 years ago? Why is she here? Why is she looking for me? My brain won't stop firing questions... I take some melatonin pills and listen to music to quiet the voices in my head... I eventually doze off...
[[Wake]]2/12/2021
I usually wake up earliest in my room. I shower, then quietly put some clothes on and get ready to head out. I grab my backpack, keys, and phone.
The first person I see as I walk outside the building is Niki.
"Good Morning", she says
"Good Morning", I respond.
We make a long, silent walk to the dining hall
We get to the serving line... scrambled eggs, bacon, french toast... standard
[[Niki starts explaining to me why she disappeared 3 years ago]]Her parents were involved in gang-related activity, they had to leave the country rather suddenly to keep themselves alive. That was 3 years ago, not a single word from her until she showed up out of nowhere yesterday. She's apparently changed her legal name as well.
[[What kind of anime plot drama is this?]]"!!!, I still like you"
How do I get myself out of this...
[["Sorry, I gotta get to class"]]I quickly stuff myself with the rest of my food, then get up to bus the dishes.
Niki looks down, and hasn't moved an inch since I got up
I head to class.
"!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you" "!!!, I still like you"
Those words kept ringing in my head. The more I heard these words the more annoyed I got. Why does she have to reappear out of nowhere? Is she lying? Does she actually still like me? Do I... still like her?
I pause at that question...
It's been three years.
[[How could I forget?]]
[[It's all in the past though...]]She disppeared 3 years ago. I mean not a single word for 3 years? How can I trust her?
I somehow pull myself through class by playing Tetris while the teacher was lecturing
I start heading back to my dorm.
Should I...
[[go to the dining hall]]
[[go straight back to the dorm]]I don't know, what do I even do at this point?
I make it through class without processing a single bit of information.
Should I...
[[go to the dining hall]]
[[go straight back to the dorm]]Miso glazed salmon... nice
As I walk around, I spot Niki
She's sitting at the exact same spot she was when I left.
What do I do?
[[Ignore her]]
[[Sit across from her]]As I'm walking I catch glimpse of a girl with long brown hair and skin. I don't think she noticed me though as she was talking with a friend...
I walk past them and turn the corner to my dorm house
[[Enter]]My roommates have both gone to class. I'm bored, what should I do?
[[Finish that Writing 2 essay]]
[[Nap]]
[[Waste time online]]I speed through the writing 2 essay. I feel a weight lifted from my back.
[[Shower]]
[[Go to the dining hall]]I take a short nap.
I wake up, my head feels a bit foggy.
[[Take a shower]]I spend some time watching anime and scrolling through Instagram and Snapchat
[[Take a shower]]
[[to the dining hall]]I take a long hot shower that relieves my stress after that essay. I get changed and go back to my room. I'm kind of hungry...
[[To the dining hall]]The oven roasted allergen free chicken is looking as tasty as ever. I get some wings and veggies, and a cup of that fresh cold dining hall water.
I notice brown hair girl walking into the back of the dining hall kitchen. So she works here? Interesting... Why do I not recognize her?
[[I grab a banana and head back to the dorm]]I find a spot and sit down by myself. I don't look up or around at all. I quickly devour my food then leave.
[[Back to the dorm]]Niki lifts her head up as I sit down in front of her.
Her eyes are red and swollen.
"Were you cr-"
"No, not over you", she interrupted me.
Wow, what a tsundere, I think to myself...
"Do you really still like me?"
"Would I lie to you?", she replies
[["Can I trust you?"]]
[["No? You probably wouldn't, right?"]]As I'm walking back, from my side view I see a girl. Brown hair and skin. I made back my way back to the dorm, but kept a mental note of this girl in my head.
[[Dorm]][[Enter]]"Why are you responding to my question with another question?", she asks.
"You responded to my question with one of your own first", I rebute.
As my eyes dart back and forth around the environment, I notice a girl walking in. Brown hair, brown skin. I meet her eyes. She sees Niki, looks at me and portrays a stiff smile. I smile back.
Niki turns around and sees her
"Do you know her?", she asks
"I don't think so..."
"What do you mean 'I don't think so', it's a yes or no question", she responds.
"I mean she looks familiar...", I mutter. I just can't quite put my finger on it.
"Is she the girl you were with when I found you last night?"
"I was with a girl last night?", I questioned aloud.
"STOP responding to my questions with your own", she was clearly frustrated, but I really couldn't recall anything.
I notice Darren, my roommate, walking from the corner of my eye.
I turn around and tap him as he is about to walk past me. I mouth the words "help me" with a distraught look on my face. His eyes dart between Niki and I.
"Hey !!!, don't we have an animal we need to learn to communicate with for Linguistics?", Darren asks
There was so many errors in that question
"OH YES WE HAVE TO GO", I get up to skedaddle out of there.
"Can you please bus my dishes for me Niki okay thank you [[bye!!!]]"I really want to trust her, but I don't think I can bring myself to.
I quickly get up and out of there. [[I don't want to deal with her.]]We make it out of there.
"Yo man I got you out of that situation, mind a little explanation?", Darren asks
"Yeah let's go to the cafe I'll buy you some food and tell you about it"
[[Enter the cafe]]I get myself a bagel and Darren a croissant
I explain the situation to Darren. Who Niki was, how she disappeared years ago, how she reappeared yesterday...
"Ah I see", he says. "I think what's most important here is, do you still like her?"
I've been trying to avoid this question, and here Darren plopped it down right in front of me.
"I...", I don't know how to respond, I don't know the answer to that question.
"It's alright", he says. "Give it some thought... but what are you going to do about Delilah?"
[["Delilah?"]]"Yeah, Delilah.", Darren replies.
My brain feels foggy. "Hey there Delilah" starts playing in my head...
"Dude", Darren waves his hands in front of my face, "You're out of it"
"Yeah... who's Delilah again?"
"My guy are you on something? How do you forget the name of the girl you like?"
"Damn... I don't remember liking a white girl... that's a first"
"What? She's not white"
"Delilah's the whitest name ever"
"Can't argue with you there, but no she's not white"
"What does she look like?"
"Did you hit your head or something?"
[["I actually did..."]]I take a cold shower to wake myself up for the work I'm going to have to do later. I get changed and go back to my room. I'm hungry...
[[to the dining hall]]"Alright then I might just have to shoot my shot", Darren replies.
[[stay quiet]]"YO", Darren snaps at my face, startling me for a brief moment.
"You alright?", he asks.
[["That girl's actually my..."]]
"SISTER?!", he exclaims
"No, wtf led you to that idea? I haven't said a single word"
"Then who is she"
"She's... my ex-girlfriend..."
"Yo what kind of anime plot drama is this"
"Bro that's what I'm saying"
I explain our relationship to him, what we've been through in the past few years.
"Well, your ex-girlfriend miraculously shows us 3 months later but... do you still like her?"
[["I..."]]
[["No"]]"Whatever the answer is, what are you going to do about Delilah>"
[["Who's Delilah?"]]"Seeing like like this, it's kind of hard for me to believe anything you say. Give that question some better thought and develop the answer in your hear. This is your life that's about to turn upside down, so think about it clearly."
"Thanks", I reply.
"Well, what are you going to do about Delilah?"
[["Who's Delilah?"]]Darren examines me, and gets close to my face. He pauses.
"Delilah has long brown hair and brown skin, that's about as well as I can describe her. I don't really talk to her or know her well."
My brain is searching, but can't find an answer.
"Nothing?", Darren asks.
[["Nothing... I don't remember a person named Delilah"]]I jab at the cue ball. The 11 ball slowly rolls into the pocket. I stare at the 9 ball, a hard cut. How should I hit the shot?
[[Slowly]]
[[With speed]]The slow speed causes the 9 to bounce off the rail instead of running along it. I miss the shot.
Charlene makes a long shot on the 1 ball, then a short shot on the 7 ball.
She shoots the 3 ball with speed, the ball rattles out but rolls into the pocket.
The 5 ball, not the hardest or the easiest shot. Charlene gets down and quickly pulls the trigger, she completely misses the shot.
[[I need to take advantage]]I take my chances and stroke into the cue ball. The 9 ball runs along the rail into the pocket and I by chance free up some striped balls.
I shoot the 14 and stop the cue ball right before where the 14 was.
I make the 12 into the side pocket.
The 15 is down the table but hanging in the jaws of the left corner pocket. The 13 is on the right rail of the table. What part of the 15 should I hit to get to the 13?
[[Left side]]
[[Straight in the face]]
[[Right side]]I make the 15 ball, but the cue ball is now behind the 13... What should I do?
[[Play safe]]
[[Just hit it hard and pray]]You make the 15 ball, but the cue ball follows straight into the pocket. Ball in hand for Charlene.
Charlene runs the rest of the balls
[[That's game]]The cue ball hits the right side of the 15 ball, goes off the rail and shoots up the table. I get good positioning for the 13.
The 13 gets me an easy shot on the 10.
In.
8 Ball.
In.
A runout.
[[Dub]]Hah sike. We don't do that around here.
[[Just hit it hard and pray]]I smash the cue ball into the 13, the cue ball runs around the table a bit before scattering a group of other balls. The solids are now open for Charlene. This outcome is probably because Charlene believes in God and I do not.
[[Charlene's turn]]Charlene jabs at the 3 ball, it goes rail first into the pocket. She hits the 1 ball, but is now in no position to hit any other ball. She misses the 6 ball.
[[My turn]]I fail to make anything.
Charlene runs the rest of the balls.
[[That's game]]The balls are almost all open. I look at the table. I get down.
I only have one shot here
[[9 ball]]The 9 ball shoots straight into the center of the pocket.
13 ball, upper left corner, roll forward a bit.
10 ball, center ball into upper right corner, medium speed.
12 ball, slight draw into the side, down the table and back up.
15 ball, stop shot.
I see an easy bank shot, or a harder cut, which should I take?
[[Bank shot]]
[[Cut]]The 14 ball bumps the cushion but goes into the corner pocket. I'm left with a straight shot at the 8 down the table. 8 ball... no pressure.
I take a good look at the ball, get down, [[and shoot it]]The 14 ball goes into the center of the pocket. I am left with a straight shot at the 8 down the table.
I take a good look at the ball, get down, [[and shoot it]]The 14 ball rattles out of the pocket.
[[Ah, so close...]]The 8 ball goes straight into the corner pocket.
[[Dub]]The oven roasted allergen free chicken is looking as tasty as ever. I get some wings and veggies, and a cup of that fresh cold dining hall water.
I'm munching on the food when Niki pops into my head. I still don't know what to do about her, nor how I feel about her. So annoying...
[[I grab a banana and head back to the dorm]]The oven roasted allergen free chicken is looking as tasty as ever. I get some wings and veggies, and a cup of that fresh cold dining hall water.
[[I grab a banana and head back to the dorm]]As I'm walking back and looking around, I notice the community room. It's empty, the lights are on, it's dark out and for some reason I'm intrigued by the sight of this room...
[[Go inside]]
I look around. An oven, a stove, a fridge, some tables, some couches, a TV. I've been here before... I remember... someone... who was it? I can't quite form the answer in my head.
[[I go back to the dorm]]"Yo", Darren, my roommate, greets me as I walk into the room.
"Yo"
Our other roommate is fast asleep.
[[Ask Darren about the community room]]
"Hey Darren, have you been to the community room?"
"Yeah, that one time I was there for 5 minutes, you were there for a lot longer... how do you forget that? You met a lot of people there"
"I thought the place felt familiar but, why can I not recall that day..."
"Are you alright? Isn't that where you met Delilah?"
[["Where I met Delilah?"]]"Isn't it?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Who's Delilah?"
"What?"
"What?"
"You don't remember Delilah? She's-"
Darren closely examines my face. I'm genuinely confused.
"That's the whitest name ever"
"Yeah, I agree, don't know why her parents named her that. Wait, are you okay? Are you messing with me?"
"Well, I did hit my head and get knocked out apparently...", I confessed.
"Wait wtf when did this happen?"
"Yesterday"
"Okay... so you hit your head and lost your memory about the girl you like?"
"Wait so I like a white girl? Why do I have no memory of this?"
"No... Yes? I don't know. You like a girl named Delilah, who you met in the community room. She has brown hair and brown skin, remember?"
Brown hair and brown skin... That girl? Ha... no way...
"Works at the dining hall? Average height?", Darren tries to gauge my memory.
[["No waaay....."]]"Yeah, you remember?"
"No, but I've seen a girl that matches that description"
"Dude, are you f**king with me?"
"No... I really forgot... I wouldn't joke about this stuff"
"Well, I can't really tell you much more about her. I don't really talk to her like you do, so I don't know much at all about her. I can only point her out to you if we see her"
"Alright, thanks."
"Wanna go play pool?"
"Sure" Nothing better to do. We head to the [[rec room.]]I'm playing pool against Darren. We're trading games. I see Niki walking in from the outside.
"Fu...", I mutter under my breath.
"That's your?", Darren asks
I take a deep breath and keep playing.
4 ball, in.
7 ball, bank shot, in.
8 ball, rolling, rolling, rolling, drop.
I drink some water and take a seat. Darren sits next to me. He eyes dart between Niki (who has sat down at another part of the room and is staring me down) and I.
"I'm guessing you either murdered her own family or broke her heart. Which one is it? A or B?", Darren whispers to me.
"Let's keep playing. I won, my break." I stand up and get to the table.
I break and make a ball in the side pocket.
I get down to shoot the 9 ball
"!!!, dude"
I pause on my shot. "What?", I reply.
"Delilah's walking in..."
"Who's Delilah? What do you mean she's walk..."
"DELILAH THE GIRL YOU LI-"
I see her
[["Fuuuuuuuu..."]]Dude what am I going to do I forgot who she is.
"Dude what are you going to do about her you forgot who she is", Darren echoes.
I make eye contact with her, as she goes to the vending machine. She smiles at me, I smile at her. We don't exchange words...
As she's walking out with her friend...
"Who is Delilah", Niki says aloud.
Delilah turns around.
"Ummm... I am. Do I know you?"
"No, but you do know !!!, right?"
"Yeah, I do"
"What are you guys?"
Niki asks a question that only Delilah knows the answer to, because I cannot recall anything about her.
"Just a friend", Delilah responds.
"Just a friend, huh? So what is she to you, !!!?", Niki asks me
[["Just friends"]]
[[Think]]"Just friends huh? Why did I hear this guy describe her as the girl you like then?" Niki questions.
Darren is quietly watching this drama unfold. Everyone else's eyes are locked onto me.
How do I even get myself into these types of situations...
[["We're really just friends"]]
[["So what if I do like her?"]]I try to think, but my gears in my brain are not spinning.
How do I even get myself into these types of situations...
[["We're really just friends"]]
[["So what if I do like her?"]]Out of spite, I say this to anger Niki. Niki, who I presumed would become furious, turns quite docile.
She doesn't say a word. She stands up and leaves.
"!!!, are you using me as a joke?", Delilah asks me.
"No..."
She stays silent for a second
"Then you're serious?"
"No?"
Delilah looks frustrated and disappointed with me. She leaves with her friend.
"You're not gonna chase after either one of them?", Darren asks me.
[[Chase after Niki]]
[[Do nothing]]
[[Chase after Delilah]]Niki starts to run faster as I chase her, when she stops and suddenly collapses.
I get to her just before she falls on the ground. I hold her. She looks pale and weak. Her eyes gets smaller. She gasps for air. I call an ambulance.
"Niki stay with me, are you okay?"
"I'm sorry...past 3 years"
[[..........]]I don't chase after either of them. I don't want to think about Niki, and I don't remember anything about Delilah.
I play a couple more games against Darren. I lose them all.
[[We go back to the dorm]]Darren doesn't say a word as we're walking back.
[[Talk about Niki]]
[[Talk about Delilah]]"That girl back there..."
"What about her?", Darren replies
"That was my ex"
"That makes so much sense, the tension in that room was crazy"
"Yeah...", I mutter.
"So?"
"So?"
"How do you plan on defusing this situation?"
I'm honestly clueless
"Figure out how I feel about Niki and try to remember things about Delilah?"
"Sounds good, you go work on that"
"Will do..."
[[Sleep]]"I really can't remember a thing about Delilah"
"No kidding, that's why you didn't greet her when she walked in at first?"
"..."
"So what's up with that other girl?"
[["That's Niki, my ex"]]"That makes so much sense, the tension in that room was crazy"
"Yeah...", I mutter.
"So?"
"So?"
"How do you plan on defusing this situation?"
I'm honestly clueless
"Figure out how I feel about Niki and try to remember things about Delilah?"
"Sounds good, you go work on that"
"Will do..."
I shower and brush my teeth.
[[Sleep]]I've been getting pretty crazy dreams lately. I wonder why??? Is it because I ran out of - ? Yeah, probably...
...
....
.....
......
[[Niki? I'm holding Niki's hand...]] I repeat the words.
I guess you could say I'm lying, but I'm also not? I have no memory of this person...
"Is that all?", Delilah asks
Nobody says a word.
"Bye !!!", Delilah says
"Bye Delilah"
I see her bitter smile fade as she turns and walks out.
Niki looks angry, she grabs her stuff and leaves.
"You're not gonna chase after either one of them?", Darren asks me.
[[Chase after Niki]]
[[Do nothing]]
[[Chase after Delilah]]"What? When?"
"Yesterday. I don't actually remember much at all about what happened yesterday. All I remember is from the point after I woke up, I was with Niki."
"Weren't you with Delilah yesterday?"
"Who's Delilah?"
"So you managed to forget just one person huh..."
Yeah, whatever the plot requires.
"What?", Darren asks.
"Uh, nothing", I say.
"But anyways, what does Delilah look like?", I ask
Darren examines me, and gets close to my face. He pauses.
"Delilah has long brown hair and brown skin, that's about as well as I can describe her. I don't really talk to her or know her well."
My brain is searching, but can't find an answer.
"Nothing?", Darren asks.
[["Nothing... I don't remember a person named Delilah"]]Seems like that's my only option...
"Yeah... I'll probably do that... Thanks Darren"
"No problem, you already know I'm best wingman"
I laugh
[[We head back to the dorm]]...
....
.....
"The way you talked about her, I didn't think you would ever forget her", Darren tells me.
"Damn is it that deep"
"I don't know man but it seemed that way to you"
"I really don't remember anything about her though..."
"Why don't you just walk around the college, maybe some places will jog your memory"
[[.]]I finish up my Writing 2 Essay.
I'm gonna...
[[take a shower]]
[[go play pool]]I take a cold shower to clear up my head a bit.
I have nothing to do.
[[go play pool]]Darren joins me. We head to the [[rec room.]] I run out the front door. I'm looking for Delilah but... what am I going to even say to her? I don't remember anything about her... I see her in the distance.
[["Delilah!"]]
[[I can't bring myself to say anything]]She turns around and looks at me. She drops her head for a second and focuses her attention at me.
[[Be honest with her about my memory loss]]
[[Apologize to her about Niki]][[Do nothing]]"Why are you apolozing?", she asks me
"Niki was kind of rude to you"
"Is that all?"
[["Yeah, sorry about that"]]
[[....]]"No, it's no problem." She replies. "Bye !!!"
"Bye Delilah"
She turns and walks away from me. Her friend turns around and stares me down for a couple seconds.
[[Back to the rec room]][[Be honest with her about my memory loss]]
[["Yeah, sorry about that"]] I play a couple games against Darren. I lose all the games.
[[We go back to the dorm]]Delilah looks at me, dumbfounded.
[["Can you help me remember?"]]
[["I don't really know who you are..."]]
"I hit my head... I don't remember who you are", I tell her.
"What?", she replies, visibly confused.
"I don't remember anything about you. Darren tells me your name is Delilah. Right now, all I know about you is your name and your face."
[[.....]]Delilah continues to look visibly confused.
"Look, I hit my head. I remember everything, everyone, but I can't remember anything about you. In my memory, this is my second time ever seeing you, and I learned your name just today"
Delilah has a questioning look on her face.
"I don't remember how we met, how long I've known you, and I can't recall a second I've spent with you. But Darren tells me that..."
"That? That what?"
"He told me that you're someone I wouldn't want to forget"
Radio silence. Delilah's friend looks at her, then at me, then at her, then at me.
[["Tomorrow"]]There's an emotion on her face I can't interpret.
"Okay, and?"
[["Can you help me remember?"]]I walk back to my dorm.
A couple minutes after I get back, my roommate Darren walks in.
"Yo, were you tryna pick up that girl at the dining hall?, he asked.
[["no"]]
[[stay quiet]]She's next to me, head on my shoulder, asleep.
And I...
[[am happy?]]
[[feel nothing...]]I squeeze her hand tighter. Is this real? She nudges closer into me. She's dead asleep, but still manages to cling onto me. I look at her. She looks more mature, taller, bigger, faster, stronger, but she also looks like she's been through a lot in the past few years. I know she left with her family... but I don't know how she lived, the good and bad she's been through. I've just been avoiding her, I...
[[*Radar alarm sounds]]I look at Niki. I don't feel any angry or hatred towards her, but I have no desire to hold her closer or tighter. It's been 3 years since then... Wait, why am I with Niki? And why do I...
.
...
.....
[[Wake up]]2/13/2021
I manage to wake up before my alarm goes off.
[[Morning Routine]]2/13/2021
Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh what am I gonna dooooo?????
The whole morning all that's stuck on my head are Niki and the dream I had about her. It is very annoying and not fun, feels like a mmorning hangover.
My head feels like it's about to explode.
[[I finish my morning routine and head to the dining hall.]]I shower, brush my teeth, wash my face. I feel groggy... My head is pounding...
[[Take some ibuprofen]]I take a pill and drink some water down.
[[Head to the dining hall]]As I get swiped in at the front desk, I look around.
I wonder if...
I have some time to spare before class starts, so I wait for an omelette. I feel restless and twitchy. My eyes keep unconsciously moves like they're searching for someone.
I take my time eating my omelette.
I bus my dishes.
I walk to grab a banana. As I walked there and back out, I found myself focusing on the food-service line. I've been here hundreds of times, what's so special about it?
[[I walk towards the exit]]I find myself paying attention to the person at the front desk. White guy, black painted nails, what's special about him? Or that desk?
"Have a nice day", he says
"You too"
[[What's wrong with me? Why am I so twitchy?]]I don't have any work to do right now, so...
[[Practice billiards]]I put my headphones in. I'm the only here at this time. I turn on the lights and grab a stick off the wall. I rack the balls and break.
Hours past...
My arms are a bit tired. I lay down on the couch.
[[This song... who...]].
...
.....
I open my eyes.
Damn, I fell asleep. I'm hungry as hell...
[[Stay awhile]]
[[Grab some food]]I grab some pop tarts and cheetos from the vending machine.
Not the healthiest dinner...
A while later, a friend comes by.
"Can I play a game?", Charlene asks.
"Sure, you can break", I reply.
[[Break]]I walk into the dining hall. The front desk sits a blonde girl who looks super worn out.
"Thank you", I walk inside.
Chicken tenders and mac & cheese.
As I walk toward a seat, I catch something in the corner of my eye.
I turn my head.
Nothing.
I don't have contacts or glasses on. Nothing looks clear. I see someone walking. All I can make out are a blue shirt and black shoes.
I finish up my food and bus the dishes.
I head staight for the exit.
[[Aight Imma head out]]The same blonde girl at the desk.
"Have a nice day"
"You too"
[[I slowly walk back to the dorm]]I look around, my heart feels heavy. My head feels dizzy. I get back to my room.
[[Lay down]]
[[Take a walk]].
..
...
....
.....
What's this light???
......
.......
........
.........
[[..........]]I grab my glasses.
*Taking a walk
The sun's just gone down.
[[I step outside]]I walk around for a bit, observing the trees and people nearby. I aimlessly wander around for awhile longer.
I look up. The stars are brightly lit at this dark hour. I can't help but smile a bit. How often do you see a view like this?
I glance down and see someone walking towards my direction...
"Delilah", I exclaim.
She turns towards me. Now that I think about it, I haven't held an actual conversation with Delilah since I hit my head.
She walked towards me as I stood there. As light starts to hit her face and my view of her becomes clearer, my heart stops for a second.
[[Ah shit, here we go again]]I see the smile on her face. Not very broad, but I could tell that it is genuine. I can't stop a grin from enveloping my face.
"How's your day been", I ask her.
"I might've had a 5 page essay due at noon today that I didn't even open until midnight, so I might've stayed up all night and morning to do that essay. I might've just woken up an hour ago and just ate my first meal of the day."
"Wow, why do I feel like I've heard you tell me a similar story 100 times over?", I say sarcastically.
"Maybe because you have", she replies.
"So? you end up turning it in on time?"
"Actually turned it in at 11:59 A.M"
"I applaud you"
[[We continue to conversate about our other classes and teachers, and upcoming events or days off at school.]]As we're walking and talking, time seems slower. The stars seem even brighter than before. I easily hold a conversation with Delilah that feels completely natural.
I look closely at her face for a couple seconds before my face starts to feel warm and my heart starts to beat faster.
[[Ah... so that's what it is]]The front desk at the dining hall, the song, the empty memories. They all lead back to her. I laugh at myself in my head.
I don't stop looking at her. She keeps talking and talking. I'm a fairly restless person with a short attention span, but I don't get tired of seeing her or hearing her talk. I'm rather forgetful as well, yet I remember almost everything she tells me.
[[We get back to her dorm]]Delilah's about to head inside.
"Bye, !!!", she says.
I'm hesitant to say goodby, as she's about to walk in...
"Hey Delilah!"
"Yeah?"
"You have any plans tomorrow? Other than class?"
"No, I don't think so"
"What do people usually do on Valentine's day?"
"I don't know... flowers? something sweet? stuffed animals? and..."
"and what?"
She pauses. "Nevermind", she says.
I press my lips together to hold back a chuckle.
"Why'd you ask me that?", she asks.
"No particular reason. Good night, Delilah"
She has a slightly questioning and troubling look as I [[turn around to leave]]I go back to my dorm and get a good night's sleep.
2/14/2021
I wake up early and do my morning routine.
I start the preparation in case of success... and failure
I finish up my last class, I know she finishes up her class around this time too.
I walk out and immediately see her walking in the distance, by herself.
I start running at the speed of sound.
"Delilah!"
I stop in front of her, hands on my knee for a couple seconds to catch my breath. Damn I need to do some more cardio.
"Yeah?" she says
I look up at her.
[["Would you..."]]END
I put a lot of effort into this "game", although I'm aware I've made it more like a story. I know the game is limiting in its choices and outcomes, but I hoped you still enjoyed it.
Thanks for playingEND
I put a lot of effort into this "game", although I'm aware I've made it more like a story. I know the game is limiting in its choices and outcomes, but I hoped you still enjoyed it.
Thanks for playingA strong one. The balls scatter around the table. The 2 ball rolls into the corner pocket.
"What have you been up to?", Charlene asks
"You know, the usual. Absolutely nothing."
Charlene lets out a chuckle.
6 ball, in. The cue ball slowly rolls forward a little bit.
Charlene loads up the cue and smashes the ball, in and out.
[[Guess it's my turn]]I have only one ball I can shoot
[[11]]The 9 ball rolls, and barely makes it into the pocket. However, I have no shot. I manage to hit one of my balls, but don't make anything.
[[The turn goes back to Charlene]]Charlene gets back onto the table. Watching her play, I suddenly recall the first time I met her. I was here, at this table. She came in, played one game, absolutely destroyed me, and left soon after. I laugh to myself.
Charlene proceeds to make a very difficult shot on the 5, straight into the pocket.
She quickly gets down on the 8 ball and hits it hard. It hits the corner of the pocket and bumps into one of my balls, [[freeing them up.]]The 8 ball is in the middle of the table.
The table is wide open. I have 6 balls to make.
I slowly roll the cue ball into the 10, which drops into the top left corner pocket.
I hit the 13 lightly with follow to get on the 15, a long straight shot.
I aim, get down, shoot. The 15 rolls in.
I see the 12 hanging at the corner pocket and the 14, another slightly more difficult shot into the side. Which one should I take?
[[12]]
[[14]]The 14 isn't the easiest or hardest of shots. I take awhile longer. I get down, shoot, in.
An easy 8 ball left
[[Dub]]I make the easy 12 into the corner. I'm left with a long shot at the 14.
Well there's only one thing to do
[[Shoot it]]The 14 bumps the corner and is left hanging into the pocket.
Charlene makes the final ball.
[[That's game]]I lost, but I felt like I played alright, so I'm not too mad about it.
"That was a good game Charlene. I'm gonna head back. I'll see you later"
"Yeah, see ya"
[[I slowly walk back to the dorm]]
That was a good win.
"Good game", I tell Charlene
"Yeah you played well"
"I'm gonna head back. I'll see you later"
"Yeah, see ya"
[[I slowly walk back to the dorm]]Charlene runs the rest of the balls out
[[That's game]]I want to bank into the corner pocket. How should I hit this?
[[Soft]]
[[Medium]]
[[Hard]]I miss the ball.
Charlene runs the rest of the balls out.
[[That's game]]This 9 ball is bothering me, I need to get it out of my system.
[[Shoot it slow]]
[[No Hesitation. Get down, aim, fire.]]"What?"
"I'll text you", she says.
She turns and leaves with her friend.
[[What an interesting turn of events]]I go back inside.
"So?" Darren says.
"So what?"
"What'd you say to Delilah?"
"I told her."
"WHAT?"
"What?"
"What'd you tell her?"
"I told her how I don't remember anything between her and I"
"Ohhhh. Wait... WHY? WHY would you DO that?"
"I just wanted to be honest, and this one uncomfortable confrontation should make for less awkward interactions in the future"
"Yeah I get that, but like... Here, let me put it this way. Let's say a friend just goes up to you and tells you 'Oh yeah btw I don't remember anything between us haha', [[how do you think that'd make you feel?"]]
"Okay first of all I did not say it in that tone.He got me there. I don't respond.
"Exactly. How does someone even react to that? How did she react to that?"
"Well, she looks visibly confused most of the time, but she also made a face I couldn't interpret"
"And then?"
"I asked her if she could help me remember what I forgot, so everything, and..."
"And?"
"I think we're meeting up tomorrow"
Just then my text tone goes off. I pick up my phone.
"Speak of the devil"
"Is that her?", Darren asks.
"Yeah"
[[I open the text]]'Seems like I have some assignments due early tomorrow. Can we meet up later in the day?'
'Yeah, when and where'
'6:30, at Casa 11'
'Ok'
Darren peaks over my shoulder as I text her.
"Ah right, Casa 11", Darren says and laughs.
"What about Casa 11?"
"You'll find out tomorrow, no?"
[["I guess..."]]We start to head back to our dorm.
"And? The other girl?"
"That's my ex"
"oooooooooh interesting..."
"Who would you choose?"
"What?"
"Right now, between the two of them, Delilah and uhhhhh...."
"Niki"
"Delilah and Niki, who do you choose?"
[[What a loaded question...]]I think for a bit, but my lips don't move.
"You don't need to tell me the answer, but you do need to figure it out, for yours and the sake of the other two"
We get back to the dorm, I do my usual.
It's 11:30 P.M
I lay in bed and close my eyes.
You know that feeling when someone's stuck in your head? They start to reside in your brain like they pay rent for it, it's kind of unfair. Why did I immediately run after her and not Niki? why did that feel like the natural thing to do? Why can I not get her name and her face out of my head?...
[[I roll around for awhile longer before falling asleep.]].
..
...
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
....
.....
......
[[I wake up a bit light headed]]I have nothing planned for today, well, until 6:30. So...
[[Fast forward until then]]It's 6:20, I'm on one of the benches by Casa 11.
I look around, a familiar environment. I haven't been here in awhile. The trees, the wood benches made from tree trunks, the squirrels running around, the large grass field. It's been less than a year, but it feels like it's been ages.
I start to zone out...
"Hey"
I look up. Delilah's standing right in front of me.
Damn. She looking fine on this Saturday evening.
I chuckle to myself.
"Hey"
There's still some tension and awkwardness between us.
[["So, why here?"]]"What?"
"Why'd we meet here", I repeat myself.
"Because... this is where we met? We used to live in the same house, although not the same floor."
That sounds...
"I know someone who can let us in, come on", she says.
Her friend lets us inside. I see my old room. I couldn't help but smile, remembering all the funny and nasty things that happened on that floor.
"You lived downstairs?", I asked.
Her lips openened slightly, closed, then open again. "Yeah", she responded.
My memories are blurry, but this place does feel somehow nostalgic and significant.
[[We walk out]]"Come on", she says.
We walk along the road. There's an awkward yet somehow comfortable silence between us.
We walk past the community room. I peek inside.
"Go inside", she says.
Couches, tables, chairs, a TV, fridge, oven.
Somehow, a familiar atmosphere.
"Our first real introduction. A conversation was struck up somehow..."
"Somehow? How somehow?" I reply.
"You were laughing at the brownies I was baking"
"I wouldn't do that... would I?"
"You did."
"Well, were you struggling that badly?"
"Uh... maybe? I had no experience so I don't know."
[["And you don't even like brownies, right?"]]"How'd you know that?", she asks.
"Know what?"
"That I don't like brownies?"
"I said that? uhh... I don't even know why I said that, or how I knew that"
...
"So, how'd the brownies end up eventually?", I ask.
"They were alright, not the best."
"Ah, I know why. You forgot the most important ingredient to making brownies."
"What?"
"Brownies are supposed to be sweet. You don't like brownies, so you probably didn't put your heart into making them. Like, for example, eating out is good and all. You have food that taste really really good, and that's great. There's so much variety. But sometimes, you just want the feeling and taste of home cooked food, you know? Somehow, nothing compares. You need to put love into the brownies for them to come out sweet. And that's hard to do if you're making a food you don't even like to eat"
Haha what do I know about cooking though all I do is watch videos online.
"Perhaps you're right", she says.
"Well, what's something you like eating?"
[["Pumpkin pie"]]"Then try making that next time. I guarantee it'll taste a lot better."
"Yeah, maybe..."
"You seem kind of doubtful. What if I make some with you?"
"You know how to make pumpkin pie?", she asks me.
"No, but I am willing to try. Are you?"
"I don't see why not."
"Sounds good"
"Have you eaten? I'm kind of hungry...", she says
"Same"
"You wanna go to the dining hall?"
"Sure"
[[We head to the dining hall togehter]]I purposely slow my walking pace to even slower than it usually is, even though I don't really know why.
I walk next to her, occasionally glancing over.
We get to the dining hall and get swiped in.
Breakfast food for late night, great.
Pancakes, hashbrowns, sausages.
We grab some food and sit down.
Delilah sits across from me. The short distance between us would be enough to blur my view of her, but I remembered to put my contacts on today.
"You remember seeing anyone working here?"
"You, perhaps?", I respond.
"Yeah, I work here. You used to talk to me whenever you saw me working in here"
"I'm sure I did"
We laugh a bit.
[[The tension has dropped a bit between us]]I begin to loosen up and feel more comfortable around Delilah, and I could tell she does the same.
I finish my food before Delilah does, so I'm sitting there just looking at her.
I examine her features. Brown hair, skin, and eyes. She is going to town on the food, and I find myself unable to move my eyes. Is it the looks? I mean, the "first" time I saw her I thought she was cute, but not like the finest person I've ever met. I don't think it's that.
She looks up for a second from her food and catches me staring at her.
"What?", she asks.
"What?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I can't look at you? And what does 'like that' mean?"
"Like... nevermind..."
I've never been one to pursue a question someone doesn't want to answer. [[I let it go]]However, I still ahve many questions in my head, and they're all about her.
What does "like that" mean?
Why am I so intrigued by her?
Why do I pay attention to and remember everything she says even though I'm a restless and forgetful person?
What is she thinking about?
[[We get up to bus the dishes]]We head back, both us us dead silent. Maybe it's cause I have nothing to say. Maybe it's because I have so much I want to say, but no idea how to say it.
[[We get back to her dorm]]I grab some breakfast and sit down.
The food somehow has less taste than usual.
I look up. At the other end of the dining hall is Niki. I almost choke on my food when I see her.
She's sitting alone with an emotionless look slowly eating her food... scary...
I don't like having knots in my heart, so I decide to go [[talk to her]]I sit down in front of her. She doesn't look up at me, but rather stares at her food and keeps eating it.
"Look, Niki...", I start.
She looks up at me. "Three years", she says. "Is that all it takes for you to forget about me?"
I shake my head.
"I don't think I could ever forget the time I've spent with you"
Niki pauses for a second.
"!!!, I just want the answer to one question. Do you still like me?"
Wow, so confrontational.
"Uhh... I... don't know?"
"What do you mean you don't know? I gave you a yes or no question expecting a yes or no answer."
Why do I feel like I've heard that from her before?
[["Look..."]]"We were together for 3 years, you completely vanish for 3 years. You came back 2 days ago out of nowhere and confront me. How do you expect me to know what to do?"
There's a moment of silence between us.
"I'm sorry. I still haven't figured out how I really feel about you"
"Well you better figure it out and figure it out quick"
"Why? You got somewhere to be?", I reply.
I could tell she was getting impatient.
She gets up to bus her dishes and leave.
[[Ah, better go run after her]]I run after Niki and grab her by the arm.
"Hey I'm joking you know... Why so serious?"
"Let me go"
"I'll let you go if you don't mind me spending some time with you"
I loosen my hand. She glares at me and storms out the door. I immediately follow her and run up beside her, matching her pace.
She still has an angry look on her face. I have to press my lips together to make sure I don't let out a smile.
"Hey, wait a minute. Why are you the one mad at me? Why am I running after you? This makes no sense."
"Yeah, it makes no sense, so why don't you just leave me alone?"
"Do you really want me to do that? If you tell me to, I'll leave right now."
She doesn't respond. I don't feel the need to push any further. I just stay beside her as we walk wherever the road takes us. We stay silent for awhile. This is actually kind of nice, all we've really been doing these past days are arguing with one another. Right now, I simply enjoy the presence of her walking next to me.
I think back on all the time and days we've spent together.
A sense of nostalgia overcomes me. There's this familiar warm feeling. Somehow, it feels like we're back to the old days. I genuinely can't say I haven't missed this, or that I haven't missed her.
[[My eyes slowly move towards her face]]My eyes meet hers for a brief second. Both of us quickly look away. I could feel my face getting warmer, and my heart beating faster.
"Uh" "Uh" we both speak at the same time
"Go ahead" "Go ahead"
"Ladies first"
"So what's your answer?" she asks me.
I stay silent for a second. We keep walking while being too afraid to look at one another. I come to a stop. Niki turns to look at me.
"Niki, I..."
She patiently looks on at me
I smile. "I think I have my answer"
I walk up inches from her. Her face is slightly red, and her eyes are bolted onto me.
I bring my face up close to hers.
[["I...."]]END
I put a lot of effort into this "game", although I'm aware I've made it more like a story. I know the game is limiting in its choices and outcomes, but I hoped you still enjoyed it.
Thanks for playing