//In the jungle, crawling on all fours. Thick undergrowth surrounds, save for a narrow, twisting path cutting through to some unknowable salvation beyond.//
[["Where's mother?"->Jungle Dream 1b]]
//Ahead see an old rope bridge stretched over a wide chasm. Can't see what's at the bottom, or in any case, don't decide to look.
Crossing the [[bridge->Jungle Dream 2]] seems to be the best option, especially since hear [[a beast->Jungle Dream 2b]] emerging from the bushes next to.////Mother is right behind. Crawling on all fours too. She won't let out of her sight, don't worry.
Ahead see an old rope bridge stretched over a wide chasm. Can't see what's at the bottom, or in any case, don't decide to look.
Crossing the [[bridge->Jungle Dream 2]] seems to be an unwise choice, and are more willing to confront [[the beast->Jungle Dream 2b]] emerging from the bushes next to.////The childlike fear within knows what will happen next.//
"We have to cross."
//The bridge's planks have rotted so maliciously. The middle plank is misplaced, of course. It will collapse when reach it, and will fall.//
"And you could only have fallen. You were afraid of the beast, at the time."
//Down the chasm, down the chasm...it is very black, then gray, then too gray. Then light.
Land perfectly in the swivel chair at cubicle. First floor of an office building, believe it or not. The way out is so close.
But a flamingo is nearby. It suddenly takes interest in and stalks over.//
"Touche, avian predator."
//The flamingo bites ear [[off-->Transition]]////The childlike curiosity within has stilled the need to run.//
"Come out, ancient beast."
//The beast arrives. Fearsome as it is, cannot withhold a sense of familiarity about the creature. It is part Cocker Spaniel, part Spitz.
The beast takes under its wing. It shall keep safe, despite the jealousy it once held for.//
'have no fun is grandfather given you ?'
'have no rememberance [[?->Transition]]'
(set: $BEAST to true)(if: $DAY < 4)[Wakey wakey, it's time for work!](else:)[You did not dream last night.] (if: $LEFT is true)[Except it isn't. You were most certainly fired for bailing. Weren't you?]
(if: $DAY < 4)[You awake in the bed, in the good corner.]
A drawing of an [[owl->Owl]] hangs on the adjacent left wall. To the right, a now unused [[desk->Desk]] piled with hoarded schoolwork, and more drawings. Next to that a [[bookshelf->Bookshelf]]. Directly ahead, a [[closet->Closet]]. The [[door out->Work 1]] at the diagonal opposite of the room.
[[- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - >->Bedroom]]
(set: $YOUCANLEAVENOW to false)
(set: $COLD to true)
(set: $TALKDONE to false)This owl was from an art class you took about 16 years ago. (if: $DAY < 4)[Though rough in design and based on another picture, it still hasn't lost its [[charm->Bedroom]].](else:)[It looks disgustingly [[uninspired->Bedroom]].]The desk is still grimey, after all these years. Dirty torn notebook pages with desparate squiggles. (if: $DAY < 4)[Every once and a while, a piece of printer paper with a not-half-bad creation carefully sculpted, either in pen or with colored pencils. You are almost [[missing->Bedroom]] this.](else:)[Maybe you should take up drawing [[again->Bedroom]] after all.]An entire shelf is dedicated to what was once your favorite young adult series of 46 books(if: $DAY < 4)[, "Tower of Bones: Edgelord Edgelord Edgelord". You replace whatever words follow the title with "Edgelord" in your head nowadays. You just really want to leave that era behind, but you haven't gotten rid of the books. Perhaps you are [[sentimental->Bedroom]]?](else:)[. Grandfather always did love [[reading->Bedroom]].](if: $DAY is 1)[You grab a pair of sleek black pants and a button-up shirt.](if: $DAY is 2)[You grab a pair of poorly washed jeans and a T-shirt.](if: $DAY is 3)[You have run out of clean clothes, but have not had the time to wash more. You grab a pair of old shorts and a stained shirt from the dirty laundry.](if: $DAY is 4)[You realize there is one last clean pair of sweat pants that you forgot about yesterday. You take them and keep your current shirt on.]
(if: $MEMORIES < 3)[There is [[nothing more->Bedroom]] for you here.](else:)[[[Is->Something More]] there [[nothing more->Bedroom]] for you here?]
(set: $YOUCANLEAVENOW to true)(if: $YOUCANLEAVENOW is true) + (if: $DAY is 1)[It's your first day on a new job.
You're not completely sure how you got it.
You know that it's at a clinic of some sort. It's on the far west side of town.
You're rather charitable, so you felt you should apply.
You don't really know what else you can do right now.
You should drive down to the [[clinic->Work 2]]. But you haven't eaten. Maybe you should get some [[breakfast->Breakfast]] first.](elseif: $LEFT is true) + (if: $YOUCANLEAVENOW is true)[You would be going back to your job, but you know that isn't going to happen. You gave up your only chance to begin contributing to society, LEECH. That's the head talking.
You want to go to the [[beach->Beach Ending]], but maybe there's a chance you could still [[get the job->Work 2]]. I mean, no harm in checking it out, right?](elseif: $YOUCANLEAVENOW is true) + (if: $DAY is 2)[Another day, another visit to the clinic. You're hoping this sort of job gets you more pay this time around. This dementia patient can be quite annoying to deal with...but there's something very wise about him. You want to get to know him more.
You'll be driving down to the [[clinic->Work 2]], but you haven't eaten. Maybe you should get some [[breakfast->Breakfast]] first.](elseif: $YOUCANLEAVENOW is true) + (if: $DAY is 3)[Another day, another visit to the clinic. You have something to say to this old wisecrack of a monk. You know that he knows about grandfather. What he went through.
You'll be driving down to the [[clinic->Work 2]], but you haven't eaten. Maybe you should get some [[breakfast->Breakfast]] first.](elseif: $YOUCANLEAVENOW is true) + (if: $DAY is 4)[You have no appetite, but you are no longer sick. You are merely regretful.
You doubt you can get your job back after what happened yesterday, but you feel shame for treating the old man as you did. He probably didn't know anything after all. You want to see him, one last time. To apologize. And to thank him.
You drive to the [[clinic->Work 2]].](else:)[You'll want to get [[dressed->Bedroom]] before you leave.]{
(set: $YOUCANLEAVENOW to false)
(set: $MEMORIES to 0)
(set: $LEFT to false)
(set: $DAY to 1)
(set: $BEAST to false)
(set: $COLD to true)
(set: $TALKDONE to false)
(set: $KNOWBEAST to false)
(set: $KNOWCHINA to false)
}You get to the clinic. It is a brutalist white building surrounded by fig trees.
(if: $DAY is 1)[Once inside, you wait in the nearly silent, bright lobby for what seems like several hours. Unintelligible whispers abound about the desk staff. The wait is excruciating, and odd. This isn't some kind of appointment. When do they expect you to start working?
Instead you are just sitting here, looking at this stupid [[poster->Poster]].
You feel an urge to [[leave->Leaving]] now, but maybe you will be rewarded if you [[wait->Work 3]].](elseif: $LEFT is true)[The door is locked. There is almost no sign that anybody has been here recently, except the building has clearly not been abandoned. Cars are still outside.
You feel a drive around the [[beach->Beach Ending]] is in order.](elseif: $DAY is 2)[Once again, you are waiting in a silent lobby. Unintelligible whispers abound about the desk staff. But you know the wait is normal now.
Eventually you will be [[called back in.->Work D2 3]]](elseif: $DAY is 3)[Once again, you are waiting in a silent lobby. Unintelligible whispers abound about the desk staff. But you know the wait is normal now.
Eventually you will be [[called back in.->Work D3 3]]](elseif: $DAY is 4)[You return to the silent lobby, except it seems ever so slightly less silent. The desk staff is talking more loudly than usual, and there are a few more people waiting than there ever was the rest of the week.
You immediately go up to the desk staff.
"Excuse me. I know what I did yesterday was wrong. I know that I probably do not have a job anymore. But can I see the monk just once more?"
They look at you awkwardly and seem a little embarrassed. One of them, a middle-aged woman, speaks up. "I'm sorry, sir. He was moved to a new clinic last night."
"Okay...can you tell me where he is now?"
"We only give out that information to people who need it." She is stern.
"I just want to visit him. Just once."
"I can call the other clinic and ask them about it. I'll call you back later today. What's your phone [[number->Meandering]]?"](if:$DAY is 1)[That's more like it! Dim sum on the go? That's pretty killer.
Har Gow used to be your favorite. You used to be disappointed if you were only able to eat two or less Har Gow per meal. At least two orders of four was necessary.
But these days Siu Mai seems more fitting to your taste, more exquisite. That and a lotus rice wrap, and you're good to go.
Now you can go do your [[job->Work 2]] proper.
(set: $MEMORIES to $MEMORIES + 1)]
(else:)[The dim sum place is closed for repairs today. You hope that it's back soon. You couldn't imagine going more than a week without some Siu Mai.
Instead you just head on over to Starbucks to grab some coffee and an english muffin sandwich. Better than [[nothing->Work 2]] on a day like this.]Yes, the black-and-white poster featuring a pleasant gravestone. "**Don't forget your mortality!**" in bold white letters at the bottom. You don't want to [[think->Work 2]] about death right now.//What a cozy home. Are here for the weekend, with cousin and parents and grandparents. In here it is very warm. Outside, the snow is piled. Today is a snow day. Time to [[frolick->Snow Dream 2]].//
[["I have strep throat."->Snow Dream 2b]]
//Rumor has it snow angels can come to life here.//
(set: $DAY to 2)Patience pays off, it seems. They finally tell you what's going on.
"We need someone to keep one of our patients preoccupied. He has been diagnosed with dementia and started showing signs of forgetfulness a few months ago. Ever since then he has seemed eager to talk to someone besides us. We are too busy to entertain his repetitive stories.
We'll handle his care, you just need to be there to talk to him while he's awake."
"Sure thing. Is he here just for that?"
"Well...he's a former monk and it's just...you'll [[see->Work 4]]."Yeah, this isn't working out. You have no inspiration to stay here any longer. Better to find a job that actually involves interacting with...[[anyone->Snow Dream 1]].
(set: $LEFT to true)//The snow is 3 inches thick. The hill is ideal for sledding at this moment, probably. Gosh, it is cold.
But regardless, do have fun. Take the plunge down and fall off. Land in the snow. Nose is running, throat burns.
Lay there, oblivious to others. Above a pale moon lingers in the midday. This moon is larger than it should be, and very yellow.
Finally, Frances finds in the form of a snow angel. Worry crosses her face.//
"You must be [[miserable->Snow Dream 3]]."//But are sick. Are miserable, even. Grandmother is sick as well, and parents too.
Frances is insistent on [[staying->Snow Dream 2]]. But the others will not bear to be in this frigid wasteland for any longer. They will leave.
Will [[go->Snow Dream 3b]] with them?////Are driven home in the morning, by parents. Are sick of being there any longer. Grandmother and grandfather sit in the back. Grandmother holds hand sweetly, indifferent to germs only in the case of a beloved. Grandfather looks out the window.//
"This reminds me of when your father got sick once."
//Senses tell to sleep, but are intrigued by the possibility of a story.//
"When was that, grandfather?"
"I'll tell you another time."
//Look out the front of the car. The car is not being driven. It is being pulled. Pulled by the beast. It looks back at, tongue panting happily, but tiredly.//
'is not this crucial most hour ?'
'have not the turn of tide approach ?'
'have no rememberance [[?->Transition]]'
(set: $BEAST to true)//Are driven home at the setting sun, by Frances's parents. In the back of the car, she wants to talk to. But are talking only to senses, and must sleep off this pestilence of a thing. Are sick of being here as much.
Behind, an army of snow angels follows, beckoning. There is no beast in sight.
Brought to worry about grandfather. The only one untouched. Will he too get [[sick?-->Transition]]//You've found yourself here several times before. In times of reflective solitude. It is cloudy today, so the beach is much less active, and something about the wind and the waves alone brings you to tears.
This is the first time in a long time you've felt actually, truly lost.
You got to know your family so well, and yet you didn't know why it mattered. You thought what they wanted was what you wanted - school, an education, a passion - and it all collapsed. Not suddenly, but very, very slowly around you. Slowly enough that you could have done something about it. Why didn't you? Why must it be miserable all the time?
Why didn't you find out about grandfather before his decline? Why didn't you...ask him...about his life in China? About what he witnessed there? And now he is gone, as everyone else might as well be.
"If it's miserable everywhere you go, maybe you're the problem."
That is what you have agreed to settle on. But perhaps it isn't true.
//**End of a variety**//Once again, you are in the old man's room. He is sipping orange juice.
"Hi. Who is this?"
"It's your caretaker again."
"Yes, hello. Are you [[cold->Cap]]? You've only got one layer."
"I've told you, it's summer. I am perfectly comfortable how I am."
"Okay, okay. Sit down."
"[[You sure you don't want anything?]]"
"[[Why are you so concerned about me?]]"
"[[About what you said yesterday...]]"You enter the patient's room. He is bald, as you were inclined to suspect, but he is dressed in a white gown provided by the clinic, and he speaks so warmly and normally that you're almost not sure you needed to know about his past occupation.
"Hi. Who is this?"
"I'm your new caretaker, sir."
"Care...caretaker? I can take care of myself."
"Er, well, I just want to keep you company, make sure you're doing okay."
"Yes, I am fine. Okay. How are you now?"
"Good."
"You don't seem very good."
"Why not?"
"You're dressed so poorly. It's cold out."
"Well actually, sir, it's summer right now."
"Well I'm cold."
- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
- "[[How are you cold?]]"
- "[[Do you know why you are here?]]"
- "[[So you were a monk?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"//About to get on a cruise ship. A few days into the two week excursion, starting with the coasts of Ireland.
Waiting to get in line. Grandfather is impatient. Is looking at a kid and his mother in front of him. Particularly the kid.
Is smiling at him, waving at him. Is getting closer. The kid is [[scared->Cruise Dream 2]], trying to hide behind his mother.
You see a [[dog->Cruise Dream 2b]] off in the distance. It has a pale yellowish coat.//
(set: $DAY to 3)There's a twinge of what feels like deja vu with this repetitive question. Where else have you heard an old man with such silly worries and demands?
It was your grandfather, of course. He never seemed very fond of that cap fad you got into, after the trip to Scotland.
Before dinnertime it was fine, but at the table, he would not stop pestering you to take that thing off.
"It's rude to wear your cap indoors. Look around you. How many other people here are wearing their cap?"
As it turned out, most of the time you could find one or two others in the restaurant with their cap still on. It made him grumble.
"It's the 21st century, grandfather. No one cares about that kind of stuff anymore."
And it would go on back and forth like this, until finally either you gave in and took it off, or he apologized. Or you gave him the cap and he wore it [[himself->Work D2 3]].
(set: $MEMORIES to $MEMORIES + 1)//Know grandfather. Know he can get too close to children sometimes.
Try to pull him away, distract him. For mere moments before he notices the kid again. Kid is getting his mother's attention, she is noticing.
Finally can't help it any longer.//
"STOP!!!!!"
//Voice is heard a kilometer away. Have never yelled so loudly in entire life.
Grandfather is [[hurt-->Transition]]////Follow the dog. It trots away, down the shipyard.//
"Is it the beast?"
//The dog rounds a corner. Do not hear the disembodied, knowing low growls, but for a moment the coat made hallucinations.
Take the corner. The dog is dead, bloodied, on the floor, legs splayed out. With it, the beast is no more.
But this is known. Has been known for [[seven years->Transition]].//Once again, you are in the monk's room. His eyes are closed, as if he is meditating, but he opens them as soon as he senses your presence.
"Hello again."
"I understand now. I know what you are trying to tell me."
"Tell you? Am I trying to tell you something?"
"I don't know how, but somehow, you know my grandfather's past. You know what his experience was in China."
"I...don't know what you're talking about."
(if: $KNOWCHINA is true)[- "[[Oh, come on. You knew he was from China without me telling you!]]"]
(if: $KNOWBEAST is true)[- "[[What do you mean, you don't know? You knew the beast was his dog!]]"]
- "[[You have some kind of psychic power!]]"
- "[[You're implanting dreams into my head!]]"//It is a time of nightmares amidst **THE PROTAGONIST'S** existence.
**THE PROTAGONIST** drives hectically with their father through a darkly lit street. **THE PROTAGONIST** can see the moon aligning in the sky, turning towards Earth. Meteors shower.
And yet the world around **THE PROTAGONIST** is silent.
**THE PROTAGONIST** knows that in a mere few seconds, there will be no humanity left in the world. All of **THE PROTAGONIST'S** dreams, aspirations, desires, anything that mattered can be obliterated by a mere rock.
But **THE PROTAGONIST** knows it is a dream. It will pass. **THE PROTAGONIST** will wake up, and continue **THE PROTAGONIST'S** life, despite the pain of the mind's apocalypse.
And maybe, one day, **THE PROTAGONIST** will find h/i/m again.//
//**End of a variety**//The patient looks at you as if you had shapeshifted into a giant lizard. "What do you mean, why am I cold? It's freezing out today!"
"But I already told you, it's summer."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Yesterday it was upwards of 98 degrees."
"It doesn't feel like that."
You get the feeling that this is probably a thing with age, some kind of vulnerability that makes you cold even when you shouldn't be.
- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient's gaze clouds for a moment. After several excruciatingly long seconds, he simply utters a rasping "No."
They did say he has dementia. However, you aren't sure that letting that on to him will make him very happy, since he probably doesn't realize it himself. Then again, he'll probably forget you said it within a few minutes.
Something about it still doesn't make sense, though.
- "[[You are here because you have dementia.]]"
- "[[To be honest, I don't understand why you're here either.]]"
- "[[So you were a monk?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient is indignant. "AM, not WERE."
"But the clinic says you //used// to be one."
"I don't know what they're talking about. They're spreading lies about me."
"I don't think anyone's trying to lie to you, sir."
"Hmph. I don't believe that."
A tense silence follows for several minutes.
"Are you cold?"
You knew this guy had dementia, but you really weren't prepared for how repetitive it could be. "No, sir."
"Good."
(if: $COLD is true)[- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
- "[[How are you cold?]]"]
- "[[What is it like, being a monk?]]"
- "[[Do you know why you are here?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The monk sits back in his bed. "No, I don't want anything, thank you. How about you? Do you need anything?"
"No, I've already eaten."
"I could get you some of my ice cream bars."
What is this guy talking about? He doesn't even have a refrigerator, let alone the ability to make/buy ice cream.
"Uh, no, don't worry about it."
"Well...is there anything else you need?"
"Nope."
"Oh, I think there is."
- [[What do you mean?]]
- [[No, there isn't.]]
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient looks up, his eyes bright, but the look in them has an amused flair. "That's quite all right. I can find one myself."
"No, no, you can't start walking around clueless. I'll fetch a nurse and have them get you one."
You wait in the hallway outside the room for a few moments, ask for a blanket when a nurse walks by, and soon enough you have a heavy, if scratchy, quilted blanket.
The patient appreciates this gesture. You sit down next to him again.
- "[[Do you know why you are here?]]"
- "[[So you were a monk?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]
(set: $COLD to false)"...Oh, I know."
That was unexpected. It's as if he's partially lucid, aware of what's going on but not at the same time. He doesn't even seem offended by it.
The patient goes on. "But that can't be the reason why I am here. I should not be hospitalized for this. I can take care of myself."
He seems desparate to cling onto his own sense of self-reliance.
"[[Why do you think you are here?->To be honest, I don't understand why you're here either.]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient leans in closer to whisper. "You know what I think? I think that someone is trying to imprison me. They're keeping me here against my will."
He might not be entirely wrong, but you want to comfort him.
"No one's trying to imprison you. You're safe here."
"That's what they want me to think. I tell you, they're lying to me. They're keeping me here for a reason. I know."
"That reason is so that you're not a burden to yourself out there. They're trying to care for you."
"I can take care of myself."
Sigh. This can't be going anywhere.
The patient grumbles to himself for a time.
"Are you cold?"
"No." This is frustrating.
(if: $COLD is true)[- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
- "[[How are you cold?]]"]
- "[[So you were a monk?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient seems to stare into your soul, if only for a fleeting moment. "You seem troubled. Troubled by a past."
He is more spot on than you are comfortable with.
"I, er- I'm fine, if that's what you're asking. I'm recovering."
"You do not need to tell me what it is. I only hope that you can find peace."
The old man warms your heart and simultaneously creates winged insects in your stomach. You aren't sure they are butterflies.
"Thank you. You're...really considerate to me."
"I have no one else to talk to, and you seem like a nice chap, eh?" He laughs and pats you on the shoulder.
(if: $COLD is true)[- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
- "[[How are you cold?]]"]
- "[[Do you know why you are here?]]"
- "[[So you were a monk?]]"
[[Finished?->Work 5]]
(set: $TALKDONE to true)The patient puts a hand on your shoulder with a surprisingly firm grip.
"Son, listen to me."
"Okay..."
"I can see anxiety in someone the moment I lay eyes on them. Their body movements, how fast they're breathing, the way they talk. I can sense something's on your mind."
You've been denying it in your head.
"[[What do you mean?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]The patient leans back slightly, his hand to his mouth. After briefly contemplating the question, he says, "It's enlightening. And...tiresome."
"Tiresome?"
"If I am to be honest with you, it's a little bureaucratic to me. Being in Lhasa is not the same as it once was."
"So you are a Tibetan buddhist?"
"Yes. Ever since the Dalai Lama moved to India, China has been strict on religious freedom. I stayed there for a while, but decided I would be able to better practice my beliefs in America."
"So...do you enjoy it then?"
"Parts of it. There is certainly...something about it that I think is valuable to all of humankind."
You are sobered by the simple words.
(if: $COLD is true)[- "[[I can try to find you a blanket.]]"
- "[[How are you cold?]]"]
- "[[Do you know why you are here?]]"
- "[[Do you need anything? Water? Food?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work 5]]]In the late afternoon, you say goodbye to the monk. He smiles back at you, although distantly, almost as if he didn't realize who you were, that he had spent the entire day with you.
Driving home, you wonder about what he said to you, about the thing gnawing at you.
You haven't quite let go of that dream, and you're not ready to [[accept->Dream Transition 2]] that.
[[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->Jungle Dream 1]][[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->Snow Dream 1]]In the late afternoon, you say goodbye to the monk. He smiles back at you, his focus clearer this time. As you are walking out, he hollers behind you,
"Heed the words I have given you!"
Driving home, you start to get a creeping feeling.
This old fellow seems to know more about you than //you// want to know about you.
All too well.
Does he know about your dreams? Does he know...what you experience in them? Does he have some kind of twisted psychic power? Is //that// why he's at the clinic?
Is //he// trying to tell you something, beyond all of this?
You can't deny the similarities between this man and your [[grandfather->Dream Transition 3]].[[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->Cruise Dream 1]]You don't wait for the late afternoon to come. Fuck the job. Fuck this guy.
You storm furiously out of the room. As you are leaving, you hear the monk call after you in a raspy tone, "I'm sorry! It wasn't my knowledge to give!"
Driving home, you feel sick to the head.
Did he know or did he not? He certainly seemed to know. He was talking about knowing people. He probably peered at your private thoughts like the creep he was. He must've looked inside your head and found your grandfather's history, somehow, tied up in a hidden corner of your memory. And then he refused to tell you anything about what he learned. What an asshole.
You are unreasonably angry. Angrier than you've been in a long time. You drive back home and immediately go to your bed. You try to sleep on an empty stomach. Maybe it'll bring out something.
[[Nothing->Dream Transition 4]].[[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->No Dream]][[,,,,...,............
..................
...................
,,,,............... .
....................
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.....,,,,,,,.,,.....,... .,,...... ,
.,.,.,,,,,,,,,,,.,..,..... .,,,,,,,,,,,.,, ..........
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,**,,,,,,**/((/,.. .,,,,,,,,,,,****,,,,,.,.,..,,,,,.
*******************,,,,,,,.. .,,,,,************,**.....,.,*,,,,,,.
,,,,**************/*******,,. ,,,,,,*********,,,,,,,,,.,*,,...,,,,,,,,
****//*////*/**,,,,*,******. .,,,,******************/***//(*#(/*,*,(#((
///////////////************. .,,,**************//*//(/(##(((((((/(//****
**************************,...,,***********/*///(/(/###((///////*//*/***
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((((((########%%%%%%#######((/ /**/((/. .*(##%%%%%%%&%&&&&(/**/////**->Transition]]
(set: $DAY to 4)...Wait...
There is something more here, after all. Did you not realize this was here all along? Or did you simply forget, like the others did?
Tucked away in the dark corner, in the closet, is a large tupperware box. You take it out, sit on your bed, and open it.
Inside are countless documents, letters, photo albums...there's your father as a boy, right there. There was so much history left behind in the most inconspicuous of places.
It's not just from the past. There's the one time you and your grandparents went out to Dim Sum. And that time, much later, when you went out to dinner at a Cheesecake Factory and grandfather was wearing your hat proudly, completely against his personal philosophy.
You spend the rest of the day reading through everything.
Tears of [[joy->Dream Transition 6]].Of course, she never calls you back.
And to think that you never even learned his name.
He reminded you so much of your grandfather. It wasn't just that he had dementia, that he made countless repetitive questions about being cold.
He had a deepness to him, a bond with you that only grandfather had shared in your heart. And he had such a tremendous understanding of history, his own and yours.
But now, he has been whisked away. As grandfather was. You don't know where you can find him. You won't know for sure whether he knew what grandfather knew...
What do //you// know as you drift back into [[slumber->Dream Transition 5]]?**[[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->Apocalypse Dream Ending]]**The old man interrupts you. "What did I say?"
"Well...you told me you sensed anxiety in me. I want to tell you about it."
He takes a long, slow sip of his orange juice.
"Are you cold?"
"What d- didn't you hear anything I just said?"
"Oh, oh, yes, about that. Yes, I can tell you are preoccupied with thoughts. You don't need to tell me what they are."
"But I want to. I need someone else to hear them."
"Well, okay."
"[[I'm dreaming about a beast.]]"
"[[I'm dreaming about my past.]]"
"[[I'm dreaming about my grandfather.]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]"I believe I've told you. You're someone I can talk to here."
"I know, but you seem...more concerned than that."
"Are you cold?"
"Exactly! You're always asking me why I'm cold!"
"It's just a simple question."
"But you keep asking it, as if I'm going to die of hypothermia or something."
The old man lays back, seemingly defeated and unwilling to continue this conversation. After a few moments, he does say one last thing:
"I think I care about you because you seem so fragile. So distracted, so lost in your own mind at times. So dreamy."
You are unsure what to say in response.
(if: $COLD is true)["[[You sure you don't want anything?]]"]
"[[About what you said yesterday...]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]The old man smacks his lips. "Hmmm. Hmm. And this beast...is it a dog?"
"...What makes you say that?"
"I don't know."
"Well, yes, it is a dog. Well, //she// is a dog."
"You aren't the only one to dream about a beast, son. I dreamed about many animals in my lifetime."
"Like what?"
"There was once a cat who I was very fond of. Every day she would come by the monastery, and I would feed her, and she would just sit peacefully under the trees for a long time. Then she would walk off, into her unknowable cat-world.
Then, one day, she didn't come. I was expecting it and had the food ready, but she never came. Nor did she comes the day after, or after that. I never knew what happened to her.
But then, I saw her in my dreams. She would speak to me, saying 'you happy here ?' over and over again. I did not know what she meant at first, but I eventually came to understand. She knew I was not happy in China. She was one of the only solaces I had in those days when she would come. She was part of the reason why I chose to leave."
- "[[Do you believe my beast is trying to tell me something, then?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]"Yes, okay. That is not uncommon."
"Yeah, but these dreams are...strangely sequential. They seem to be playing out a narrative in my head."
"Perhaps you are experiencing a wave of nostalgia recently?"
"I suppose so."
"It might explain your distraction. You seem trapped in these memories. So much so that you are less aware of what you are when you are awake."
"I've grown up."
"Haven't we all?" He chuckles. "But our past selves linger with us."
"Except for yours." It's a bit of a sudden, rude remark, but you don't think he'll take offense to it anyway.
"I forget on a short-term basis. But my long-term memories...they can never be forgotten."
"Even if dreaming about your past is common, there's one element that is always present."
"Which is that?"
- "[[I always think about a beast.->I'm dreaming about a beast.]]"
- "[[I always think about my grandfather.->I'm dreaming about my grandfather.]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]The old man nods, deep in thought. "How is your grandfather?"
"He's...he's no longer with us."
"Oh. I see. I am deeply sorry for your loss."
"It's okay. It's been several months now."
"Do you believe you are finding it difficult to cope with his death?"
You are unsure what to think of this.
"I mean, I've dealt with death before. My grandfather on my mother's side of the family died when I was still a kid. That hurt, but I learned to move on."
"So why do you think you are dreaming of him now?"
You are unsure if you can answer this question.
"I...I miss him...but there's something else."
"And that is...?"
- "[[I didn't know anything about him.]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]The old man smiles. "Well, I'm quite warm now. But I would like some chocolate, maybe."
"Chocolate? You have quite the craving for sweets, for a monk."
"Well, in my old age, I can't always help myself. I don't consider myself very stringent when it comes to my diet anymore, or my practice for that matter."
"Okay. I'll find you some chocolate."
You go down the hall and purchase a chocolate wafer from a vending machine. You realize you haven't treated yourself to chocolate in a while either, and buy another wafer for yourself.
The patient appreciates this gesture. You sit down next to him again.
"[[Why are you so concerned about me?]]"
"[[About what you said yesterday...]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]
(set: $COLD to false)The old man seems confused. "Did you not meet him?"
"Oh, I met him. A lot. I got to know him really well."
"So what is the problem?"
"I knew him, but I didn't...understand him."
"You didn't know who he really was."
You are miffed.
"He lived in China, didn't he?"
- "[[How did you know?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]
(set: $KNOWCHINA to true)"I believe your beast is trying to remind you of something, yes."
(if: $BEAST is true)[(rememberance?)
"She keeps talking of rememberance. I guess she wants to remind me of someone..."](else:)["I've been avoiding her, I think. I thought she might be a threat, but maybe you're right..."]
"She's your grandfather's dog, isn't she?"
- "[[How did you know?]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]]
(set: $KNOWBEAST to true)Once again, the old man adopts that wisening, knowing look.
"You are having trouble coping. Coping with the fact that you never got the chance to know who your grandfather was before you were born."
With this, he has not only failed to answer your question, but driven you to bewilderment at how close to the mark he is.
"Where did you get all of this from?"
He merely continues to smile and says nothing more.
"..."
"...."
"....."
"Are you cold?"
(if: $COLD is true)"[[[You sure you don't want anything?]]"]
"[[Why are you so concerned about me?]]"
[[Finished?->Work D2 5]]
(set: $TALKDONE to true)"He was from China?"
"Yes! You said it yourself!"
"No I didn't."
"YES, you did!"
"That is not true."
This constant loop of questions is so, so exhausting.
"Is it just because I looked Asian to you?"
"No."
"Then WHAT was it?"
"Intuition."
"That's not good enough!"
(if: $KNOWBEAST is true)[- "[[You knew the beast was his dog!->What do you mean, you don't know? You knew the beast was his dog!]]"]
- "[[You have some kind of psychic power!]]"
- "[[You're implanting dreams into my head!]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D3 5]]]"What beast?"
"Did you forget //everything// we talked about yesterday?"
"I did not forget everything. I remember you had dreams."
"I HAVE dreams. I've been having them every night since I got this damn job."
"Watch your language."
"Oh, cut it! You're toying with me. You're deliberately withholding information from me, teasing me."
"I would not wish to do such a thing."
(if: $KNOWCHINA is true)[- "[[Oh, come on. You knew he was from China without me telling you!]]"]
- "[[You have some kind of psychic power!]]"
- "[[You're implanting dreams into my head!]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D3 5]]]The monk starts up in his bed. "What kind of nonsense are you gibbering about?"
"But how else would you know those details about my grandfather? Either you knew him personally, or you were somehow able to...read my memories or his memories and find out who he was. I know it!"
"Okay, son. I think you need to take a step back here. You're clearly overcomplicating things in your head."
"Of course I'm overcomplicating things! My head hasn't been straight ever since I met you!"
"Are you cold?"
"I'm tired of your stupid cold comments! I wish I never told you all that personal information. I should've known not to trust anyone with it."
The monk seems wounded, but all he says is, "I wish I could help you."
"You have only made things WORSE!"
(if: $KNOWCHINA is true)[- "[[You knew he was from China without me telling you!->Oh, come on. You knew he was from China without me telling you!]]"]
(if: $KNOWBEAST is true)[- "[[You knew the beast was his dog!->What do you mean, you don't know? You knew the beast was his dog!]]"]
- "[[You're implanting dreams into my head!]]"
[[Finished?->Work D3 5]]
(set: $TALKDONE to true)The monk's eye twitches ever so slightly.
"You can't possibly be insinuating that I am responsible for all of your nostalgic feelings?"
"I just don't understand how I could be seeing so many similar [[images->Photo]], stacking upon each other, of my grandfather and the beast, now, after all this time since I have moved on."
The monk leans in, closer than ever before.
"Why didn't you ask your grandfather while he was alive?"
You are insulted.
"HE HAD DEMENTIA!! He didn't remember it himself anymore! What the hell did you expect??"
The monk leans back again, holding his hands up. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
(if: $KNOWCHINA is true)[- "[[But you DID know he was from China without me telling you!->Oh, come on. You knew he was from China without me telling you!]]"]
(if: $KNOWBEAST is true)[- "[[But you DID know the beast was his dog!->What do you mean, you don't know? You knew the beast was his dog!]]"]
- "[[You have some kind of psychic power!]]"
- "[[You're implanting dreams into my head!]]"
(if: $TALKDONE is true)[[[Finished?->Work D3 5]]]Images. Photos.
A picture of your father as a young boy always hung up on a little brick segment in your grandfather's living room.
A window to a realm you never knew.
Being here, now, in this position, you wish more than ever that you had [[kept->You're implanting dreams into my head!]] that photo.
(set: $MEMORIES to $MEMORIES + 1)**[[< - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -->City Dream 1]]**//He is riding his bike through the streets of Shanghai. He sees a group of Japanese soldiers. He flips them a big, fat [[bird->City Dream 2]].////He is in the Forbidden City, on a job given to him by the People's Republic. The specifics are lost to [[history->City Dream 3]].////He is talking to his friend, who would later be known as Willy.//
"Don't go. We may not be able to contact you."
"I am sorry, Arthur. But I do not share your optimism in the Communist Party. One day they are going to make a grave mistake..."
//Friend leaves, with his sister as his wife, for a new [[life->City Dream 4]] in Taiwan.////He plays basketball with another friend. He makes a passing remark.//
"Well, besides Chairman Mao, my wife is the Supreme Leader."
//The [[friend->City Dream 5]] does not take this very well.////He is a professor of language, imprisoned within his own school. They say he harbors counterrevolutionary thoughts. He must be [[reformed->City Dream 6]].////Red Guards strip him of "intellectual" objects, books, his son's toys.
He witnesses suicides.
He has had enough. But he cannot escape his obligations.
His son must be sent to America, to get a high school education.
They will follow him years after.
Willy was [[right->City Dream 7]].////He is a translator.
He is an educator.
He is a father, and a loving [[grandfather->City Dream Ending]].////It is a time of solace within **THE PROTAGONIST'S** existence.
**THE PROTAGONIST** does not usually have dreams. But **THE PROTAGONIST** can hope to reach for them when arriving at a peace.
It does not matter what **THE PROTAGONIST** knows about **THE PROTAGONIST'S** origin. It does not need to be known. But **THE PROTAGONIST** can strive to know, to feel something for ancestry.
**THE PROTAGONIST** can move on.//
//**End of a variety**//Double-click this passage to edit it.