{(set: $brokenTable = false)
(set: $hitFloor = false)
(set: $halfConc = false)
(set: $recogn = false)
(set: $seeChip = false)
(set: $menAthl = false)}
//It's been a long, long day.
You're finally on your way back home from work, ready to end this seemingly endless Friday night.//
//You're walking down the street, with (if: $moodChar is "happy")[a [[pep| happy premonition]] in your step](else-if: $moodChar is "distracted")[a [[million thoughts| cloudy and distracted]] in your head...](else-if: $moodChar is "tired")[a sense of [[fatigue| too tired]] dragging you down...](else-if: $moodChar is "meh")[[[Nothing particularly| indifferent]] on your mind.]//
Today really was a good day. A bit tiring, sure, but there were kind people and those free donuts in the lunch room really did the trick.
There's really [[nothing|Front Step]] that can ruin this day.I really should just try to get home and set them straight. It seems like something is bothering me but I just don't know what.
Maybe a [[drink|Side Door]] or something might help.
Work was just so tiring (link-reveal: "...")[
I need to unwind (link-reveal: "...")[
Just one foot at a time, buddy, (link-reveal: "you got this")[
(link-reveal: "Take a step")[
(link-reveal: "Get home")[
(link-reveal: "Take a step")[
(link-reveal: "Get home")[
(link-reveal: "Take a step")[
(link-reveal: "Get home")[
(link-reveal: "Take a step")[
[[Get home|Front Step, tired]]]]]]]]]]]]Can't wait to just get home and [[//''vibe''//|Front Step]]//You get to your front step.
(link-reveal: "You wipe your feet on your floor-mat")[
Something (link-reveal: "catches your eye...")[
is that(link-reveal:"...")[
(link-reveal: "hair?")[
You open the door, a bit confused.
The hair could be yours...except your hair is currently a bright shade of purple and this hair is clearly normal, the same shade of brown your parents keep telling you to go back to in order to look like a normal proper citizen.
But hey, it's not like a bit of hair is [[that unusual|Living Room]]. After all, could be a dog that took a fancy to your floor-mat.]]]]//
//It seems you were so distracted you arrived at your side door.
This does seem to happen often when you're not paying attention.//
I just hope I have the keys for this one...
I should really pay more attention[[...|Kitchen]]Finally, I made it home...
Ugh, there's stairs... There's only 2, but 2 too many...
Hehe, too too...
[[//You slide the key in and step inside, your foot catching on something. You're too tired to care.//|Living Room]]{(set: $ignoreFromK = false)}
//After a few futile attempts, you manage to find the right key and successfully open the door.
A sigh of relief escapes your lips as your gaze pans from your discarded filthy work boots to your kitchen counter.
It seemed like something moved right as you looked into the half open pantry door.//
[[It's probably just my imagination. Maybe my own shadow. I need some couch potato time.|Living Room]][(set: $ignoreFromK to true)]
[[Or maybe not... What was that?|Explore Kitchen]](if: $ignoreFromK is true)[Eh, it's probably nothing. It couch time.](else-if: $ignoreFromK is false)[]
//Finally, you're in your living room, within a few feet of your beloved couch.
You can lay back, relax, maybe put the game on.
[[Maybe watch a movie or two.|Liv Room Noise]]
"Chilled 2" did just come out a few weeks ago. Maybe someone has pirated it already so you can watch it for free from the comfort of your own home.
Or maybe you can [[go to bed|Bedroom]]. It has been a long day, after all.////You step closer to the pantry.
Something// (link_reveal: "rustles.")[
(link-reveal: "Are those...my Warm Ranch Bobitos!?")[
You rush to save your precious chips from what you assume to be a rat invasion(link-reveal: "...")[
Wait...[[that's not a rat...|Kitchen Chase]]]]]
{(set: $seeChip = true)}(if: $recogn is false)[THAT'S A FERRET](else-if: $recogn is true)[Oh my FUCK NUGGETS THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!]
//There's at least 7 of these furry cat-snakes all lined up in your pantry, each staring at you, cought red handed in your goods.//
Huh. They do look kinda cute, though.
//One of them still has crumbs from your Warm Ranch Bobito chips on his little whiskers.//
(if: $seeChip is false)[They got my CHIPS!!!](else-if: $seeChip is true)[You BASTARD!]
//Suddenly, they all drop their spoils and jump out into one mass of ferret. A swarm of more creatures spills out of the shadows, joining the ferret collective before all scattering.//
This can't be happening, this can't be real, I can't be here, [[no no no no nonononononononono|Panicked from Kitchen]]
Wait, think...[[I can...try to catch them...|Catch Ferret Loop]]
Wait, no, THINK! [[There has to be a more logical way to deal with this.|Ferret Trap]] They *are* just big rodents.Eh, fuck it, a little TV won't hurt. I deserve it.
//You turn on your TV and flip through the channels, not settling on any but looking anyway.//
(link-reveal: 'Skim the channels')[
(cycling-link: "Natural Geographic Documenatary", "Teen Titan's GO", "Paid Promotion", "NASCAR", "some weird Indie movie you always see as an option but never actually finished")]
//Everything seems quite// (link-reveal: "normal.")[
//You hear a crash from the kitchen.//
[[That is really not normal.|Explore Kitchen]] I should check it out.
Or that might have been the Cheerios I stacked on top of the already unstable pile of snacks...[[I'll check it in the morning|Bedroom]], I'll just go to bed.
] //BED.
Those sheets, those pillows, that orthopedic mattress for that spine that keeps ignoring you're barely inching towards your thirties and decides to act like it's been abused for decades more.
It looks so comfy, you could just sink into it.
Of course, you'd have to move aside all those (if: $typeMess = "books")[books](else-if: $typeMess = "dirty clothes")[dirty clothes, you filthy, filthy animal](else-if: $typeMess = "trash")[chip bags from last night...and two nights ago...and last week...](else-if: $typeMess = "clothes")[discarded clothes from this morning's dressing hunt] but that last (link-reveal: "stretch of effort is worth it.")[
A noise disturbs your pleasant train of thought.
It could be from the kitchen. Surely sounds like it.
[[You could ignore it.|Ferret Stand]] There's always weird noises around here, like the time you thought my house was being haunted but in reality it was the raccoons having a rave outside.
[[Or you could go check.|Explore Kitchen]] Who knows what type of weird shenanigans those neighbors' pets of yours could be getting into in your kitchen. Resources are scarce, man, it's survival of the fittest out there
]//Eh, that could be anything. I'm not the best organizer, maybe something fell.
Happens aaaaall the time.
//You continue to get ready for bed.
Your big ''teef'' are freshly brushed.
Your stinking non-dad dad bod has been washed.
You're moisturized to the gods, because who doesn't like soft baby skin.
Pajamas are on and so are those surprisingly comfortable dino slippers you found for a few bucks down at the corner store.
Everything is going great until//(link-reveal: "...")[
What is that...on my nightstand(link-reveal: "...")[
//A shadow, not much bigger than a foot, snake-like and long but with round ears and a pointy snooter, stands.// (link-reveal: "//Watching.//")[
Hold on(link-reveal: "...")[
No, that [[can't be real.|A Dream Ending]]
But...it looks so real...[[what is that?|Chase Into Kitchen]]
]]]]
I'm just overworked, I knew I shouldn't have taken on so many hours.
//You turn over in bed, facing away from the nightstand, and get a surprisingly good night's sleep. By morning, all memories of that ferret and the noises are gone, and so are any traces of them.
Your Warm Ranch Bobitos are gone, though.//
(align: "=><==")[**THE END (3 - SWEET DREAMS)**]
(align: "=><==")[[[Play again|First Prelude]]]HOLY SHIT THAT'S A FERRET!!!
THERE'S A FERRET IN MY HOUSE!!!
ARE THEY EVEN LEGAL????
//The ferret becomes startled by your screams and runs out the door before you can even reach for it.//
//You have no idea if what you just saw is real or not. Why a ferret, an animal you hadn't even thought about for most of your life; not a mouse, not a cat, not even a raccoon. A FERRET.
This just can't be real.//
[[I have to prove to myself that thing was real. I have to catch it.|Hallway]][(set: $recogn = true)]
[[Wait, but it went away... What if we just move on? It didn't happen, couldn't have happened. It's out of my room, out of sight, out of mind.|A Dream Ending]]//You run out into the hallway, stumbling and slipping, trying to catch up with the cat rodent.
It runs into the [[kitchen|Kitchen Chase]], and you follow//...NOPE we outies.
//You run out into the dining room, where another swarm of ferrets immediately scatters.
Shrieking, you continue your frenzy into the living room, where you climb onto the couch, phone in hand.//
(link: "Call animal control")[They pick up, reassuring you that this infestation will be taken care of. After all, this happened to a house a few streets down some days ago. Something about talking magical ferrets that barged into their home and demanded sanctuary. They were all in therapy now, though, so they're good.
[[Everything's ok now|Ferrets Leave Ending]]]But... how hard can it be to just catch them?
Like...[[I could easily catch this one.|Lunge]]
//You hang up, slumping down the pillows with a sigh of relief...
At least until you remember you still have a whole herd of ferrets in your home.
(link-reveal: 'You look over tantatively to the dining room doorway.')[
There stand a few ferrets, looking over at you with what seems to be disdain and disappointment on their tiny faces.
How can ferrets look disdained and dissapointed? They're just animals...right?
(link-reveal: 'It almost makes you feel bad.')[
With a little nod of their heads, they turn around and retreat.
You don't find them again when animal control shows up, and (link-reveal: 'you wonder where those little guys have gone.')[
You wonder...
(align: "=><==")[**THE END (2 - PEST CONTROL)**]
(align: "=><==")[[[Play again|First Prelude]]]]]]//(if: $hitFloor is false)[//You lunge for one and barely miss the creature, but you surely don't miss the floor.
You land with a thud.//](else-if: $hitFloor is true)[//You lunge for one and barely miss the creature, but you surely don't miss the floor.
Again. You dumb, dumb fool.
You land with yet another thud.//]
[[Try again]][(set: $hitFloor = true)]
[[give up]](if: $menAthl is true)[I mean, I did say I *was* a beast in college athletics...
There's no way I can take on these many ferrets *now*...](else-if: $menAthl is false)[There's no way I can take on these many ferrets.]
[[I have to get out of here.|Panicked from Kitchen2]](if: $halfConc is false)[//You go for another one. Same result. Only a partial concussion, no cat-snake captured.//](else-if: $halfConc is true)[//You go for another one. Same result. Congratulations, you have a full concussion now, and still no cat-snakes captured.//]
[[Try again|Try 3]][(set: $halfConc = true)]
[[give up]](if: $brokenTable is false)[//You go for another one, this time running across the dining table.
The little bastard's tiny footsies can really run, and you end up falling onto your table, breaking it in two.//](else-if: $brokenTable is true)[//You go for yet another one, running and nearly hitting the pieces of shattered table.
The little furry thing's footsies can really run, and it escapes as you land on the floor with a thud.//]
[[Try again|Lunge]][(set: $brokenTable = true)]
[[give up]]What can I do to gather them all in one place(link-reveal: "...")[
//You pick up the Warm Ranch Bobitos bag in the pantry and// (link-reveal: "//stare at it//")[
That's it! A trap!
//You gather a few of the now trashed food things those furry things had been feasting on and set up some traps around the kitchen counter.
You sit back and wait[[...|Ferret Out]]//
]]//A little tiny ferret, maybe a young one, comes out, cautious but curious.
They inch toward the food, sniff it once or twice, and// (link-reveal: "turn to you.")[
(link-reveal: "''Hewwo?''")[
A...a //ferret// just... //spoke// to me(link-reveal: "...")[
(link-reveal: "''Is you trying to hurt me?''")[
'No no no, I...'
I cant believe I'm talking to a ferret...
'What are you doing (link-reveal: "in my house?'")[
(link-reveal: "''Well, my family and I got hungry and we found your place and we thought it was really pretty so we came in but we didn't think you would be in here, we didn't think anyone would be in here, but then you came and now we're all scared but we're still hungry-''")[
I have no idea how or why this thing is talking to me, but I [[want them out.|Scatter]]
Although, there might be a kinder way to deal with this...[[maybe we can talk it out?|Deal]]
]]]]]]Pfft, talk it out?
Who am I, Doctor Dolittle?!
"Look, I don't really care about your whole story, ok? I just want you out of here. You and your friends freak me out and I want none of it, you hear me?!"
//The little ferret stares back at you, frightened.
They pause for a second, before running off back with the [[rest of the scattered swarm|Mid-catch Loop]]//"Look, uh, little guy-"
''My name is Walter''
"...look, Walter, I get it, you guys are hungry. But you can't just barge into someone's home like that."
''I know...''
"How about we make a deal?"
''A deal, sir?''
"Yes, a deal. How about I let you and your family stay-"
//Walter squeals in delight//
Maybe these things aren't so bad after all...they are pretty cute...
"-but, you can't go terrorizing other houses. You can get hurt, and we wouldn't want that, right, Walter?"
''No, sir.''
"Ok, good. So is it a deal?"
''Yes, sir!''
"Alright, now go tell the others. Oh, and by the way[[...|Deal Ending]]""Tell them to keep their hands off my Warm Ranch Bobitos."
(align: "=><==")[**THE END (1 - THE DEAL)**]
(align: "=><==")[[[Play again|First Prelude]]]//You let out a frustrated gargle, enraged and still quite frightened.
You walk into the dining room, now quite full with agitated ferrets again.//
[[I can't take this anymore|give up]]
Although I can make one last attempt [[to try to catch the ferrets...|Catch Ferret Loop2]]
//You run out into the dining room, where another swarm of ferrets immediately scatters.
Shrieking, you continue your frenzy into the living room, where you climb onto the couch, phone in hand.//
(link: "Call animal control")[They pick up, reassuring you that this infestation will be taken care of. After all, this happened to a house a few streets down some days ago. Something about talking magical ferrets that barged into their home and demanded sanctuary. They were all in therapy now, though, so they're good.
[[Everything's ok now|Ferrets Leave Ending]]]I mean, I'm a grown adult, a big boy, I was a //beast// in college athletics.
[[How hard can it be to take on some ferrets?|Lunge]][(set: $menAthl = true)]
(text-style: "fade-in-out")+(align: "=><==")[[[**Ferrets on the Run**|Prelude]]]
(text-style: "underline")+(colour: black + white)+(align: "=><==")[Note: Do not use the back-button.
~ Thank you ~]{(set: $moodChar = " ")
(set: $typeMess = " ")
}
(colour: red + blue + white)[''Before we begin, let's set you up for your adventure.''
Please pick one:]
(colour: red + blue + white)[Are you...]
(link: "A happy type of person")[(set: $moodChar = "happy") Yay, you're happy!]
(link: "An often distracted person")[(set: $moodChar = "distracted")Oof, be careful with that]
(link: "More often tired than not")[(set: $moodChar = "tired")Same, homie, same...]
(link: "Quite indecisive and indifferent most of the time")[(set: $moodChar = "meh")Understandable, phat mood]
(colour: red + blue + white)[What type of mess would you most likely have in your room:]
(link: "I am studious and read a lot, so most likely papers and school things")[(set: $typeMess = "books")Nerdy, we stan]
(link: "What is a laundry basket? What is laundry??")[(set: $typeMess = "dirty clothes")Woah there, that's kinda gross, but go off I guess]
(link: "Snacks. Everywhere. All day, every day, baby")[(set: $typeMess = "trash")Good noms, good noms]
(link: "Getting dressed is the most important thing to do in the morning. It can make or break your day. Picking it up? Not important.")[(set: $typeMess = "clothes")Fashion, periodt]
(colour: red + blue + white)[AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:
Do you like ferrets?]
(link: "Yes")[Hell yeah, whoo! [[You're going to (hopefully) enjoy this!|Startup Screen]]]
(link: "No")[Well, you will, now. [[Enjoy the ride...|Startup Screen]]]