The Company

You wander into the breakroom. On the table is a birthday cake, half-eaten. You didn't know it was someone's birthday today. Why weren't you asked if you wanted to have some cake? You love cake. //Don't you.// [[Read the name in the frosting]]. [[Take the knife from the table]].

You walk into the HR department. The HR department at The Company Inc. is comprised of one employee named Stanley. Stanley is not a very bright man, most people in HR usually aren't, and spends his days watching internet videos rather than... than... you don't know actually. You never actually understood what, if anything, HR at The Company Inc. actually does. Stanley looks up from his computer screen, and upon seeing you quickly closes the cat-chasing-a-laser-pointer video he was watching. "Employee number 427! How can I help you?" (if: $hr_name is true)[Realizing that the 'S' and 't 'on the frosting are also the first two letters of Stanley's name, you decide to wish him a happy birthday, "[[Happy birthday Stanley!|Happy birthday!]]"] [[I would like to file a complaint.|Complaint]] [[To the cube!|Starting Block]]

(if: $max_alive is true)[You find the CEO's office is empty. From the dust on his desk, it looks like he hasn't been in his office for months. [[To the cube!|Starting Block]]] (if: $max_alive is false)[You walk into the CEO's office and are astonished to find a man sitting behind the CEO's desk. You decide the best course of action is to leave. [[To the Cube!|Starting Block]]]

(if: $max_alive is true)["Hey 427!" Said Max. "Hi Max, I mean 586." Punishment for using real names is **immediate** termination a rule only enforced by Greg and HR. [[Do you know who's birthday is today?|Birthday Boy]] [[How are you?|Banter]] [[To the Cube!|Starting Block]]] (if: $max_alive is false)[ On your way back from the Taco Bell bathroom across the street, you walk by Max's desk and notice he's been replaced. A man that vaguely resembled Max was now at his desk, smiling at me while I walked past. He was wearing Max's old nametag: 586 [[To the Cube!|Starting Block]]]

This is it! You've finally had enough of it all. Blood thirsty excitement gets your blood pumping in anticipation. Any minute now Greg and his stupid face will come by your desk to drop off more C-2319 paperwork and thats when you'll //get// him. You'll show him... //Greg walks up to your desk.// "Hey 427, how's it going?" He says in a tone that only an insurance lawyer could love. "Listen, you know those TPS reports? Well... (if: $knife is true)[You've been fantasizing about this moment for months. Your eyes wander down to your desk finding a hand, //your hand// firmly grasping the knife you found in the breakroom. "...we are going to also need you to work over Christmas in addition to New Years so..." You think back to when you were a child. Life was simple then, no paperwork, no Greg, just life. People would call you by your name, '$user_name.' It's strange hearing your name again, even if its in your head. You realize what you must now do to escape this hell. The knife plunges into Greg's neck showering your cubicle with blood. It's over. All of it. Greg is gone and soon you will be taken away to live behind bars for the rest of your life. You wonder, was it worth it? Maybe there is another way? Too late to think about all that now...[[or is it?|Weekend Warrior]] ] (else:)[Without giving him time to finish, you slap him across the face. Stunned, he says, "What the hell?!" You slap him again. "NO MORE TPS REPORTS!" You roar so loud that Stanley down the hall in HR is, for a moment, distracted from his cat videos. The beating continues...and continues. Nobody bothers to stop it because nobody cares at The Company Inc. You are promptly fired. Greg is given a promotion for his heroic and innovative skills in protecting company property using his face. [[From the top!|Weekend Warrior]]] (set: $knife to false) (set: $pocket_sand to false) (set: $hr_approved to false) (set: $hr_name to false) (set: $affair to false) (set: $max_alive to true)

You try to go to the bathroom but remember that Greg has welded all the bathroom doors shut... [[Back to your the cube.|Starting Block]]

Your cube: 3 1/2 grey walls, a broken computer, and a company-issued motivational calendar. Go to the [[Breakroom]]. Go to [[HR]]. Go to [[CEO's office]]. Go to [[co-worker's desk]]. Go to the [[bathroom]]. Screw it all! [[F*ck this!|Quit your job!]]

Most of the name written in the frosting is gone but the first two letters are visable. S and t. (set: $hr_name to true) [[Back to your the cube.|Starting Block]]

You grab the knife that was left stabbed into the red velvet cake. After licking it clean you place it in your jacket pocket. How //normal// of you. [[Back to the cube.|Starting Block]] (set: $knife to true)

[[You are special!]] (set: $user_name to "427")

[[You are going to make a huge difference at The Company Inc.!|Making a Difference]]

[[YOU, can change the world here! Make the world a better place!|A better place]]

(set: $user_name to (prompt: "Who are YOU?", "")) [[Wow! What a unique and interesting name. Because of our super fantastic employee retention system, we will forever refer to you as 427. Employee 427, your career here at The Company Inc. is going to be amazing!!!|they lied]]

After two years of working for The Company Inc. you have come to the conclusion that they were [[very wrong...]]

Greg is a horrible person and a moron. Once, during a meeting with upper management, he proposed making all company restrooms, excluding the executive facilities of course, [[coin-operated]].

The resulting hygenic chaos led to the nation's first case of legislation regarding toilet fee structure. The bill, named FL-02817, placed a cap on the amount you are legally allowed to charge per flush. Being a government of rational and sane people, they decided to make that limit, [[17 cents]].

This would be all fine and dandy except that one month prior, the government banned all coin-based currency. The rationale was that nobody likes coins anyways, and if you kept coins on your person, you were probably up to no good. So, in the end, Greg decided that the best course of action was to weld the bathroom doors shut until a coin-based currency was made [[legal tender again]].

Greg was given multiple awards for his brilliance in reducing the company's environmental footprint and he was even featured in Forbes Top 100 Managers of the 1990s. You now work directly under him... [[Good luck!|Weekend Warrior]]

According to Psychology Today, disappointment most often occurs when expectations have been set but failed to be realized. Your job at The Company Inc. has been a massive disappointment for the last two years... This is because of your boss [[Greg]].

"Hey employee 427, how's it going?" Says Greg walking up to your cube. In a stroke of brilliance, Greg has decided that company efficiency would increase if nobody used their own names except for upper management, of course, and everyone referred to each other by their employee numbers. He believed that this would make replacing employees a less traumatic experience for their team. "Listen, I know you've been working really hard this week but we are going to have to have you come in this Saturday and possibly Sunday." Greg said while sipping from a 'The Company Inc's Best Boss!' mug. "We really need to get those TPS reports done by next month so I think having you do them this weeked will be better for the team." [["Go f*ck yourself, Greg."]] [["Fine. Am I getting overtime for this?"]]

Without giving him time to finish, you slap him across the face. Stunned, he says, **"What the hell?!"** You slap him again. **"NO MORE TPS REPORTS!"** You roar so loud that Stanley down the hall in HR is, for a moment, distracted from his cat videos. The beating continues...and continues. Nobody bothers to stop it because nobody cares at The Company Inc. In fact, nobody even noticed the assault happening, and most people only heard about it after Greg sent out a company-wide email congratulating himself for protecting company property by method of facial object interception. Or, in otherwords, using his face as a barrier between the floor and your fist. You were promptly fired, and Greg was given a promotion for his heroic and innovative skills in protecting company property using his face. Good job! Is this //really// the ending you wanted? **Do you think immediate violence is the answer to all your problems 427?** Maybe if you weren't such a hothead, you might **rise up** and be **accepted** into upper management! Those guys are //truly// exceptional, they get names, not a **silly** number. Who even has a number for a name? Loosers, that's who. Oh well... I guess this is where you start over, I suppose... Looser. [[From the top!|Weekend Warrior]]

"HA! Oh 427, you crack me up. Make sure you clock in this weekend so I know you showed up. I won't be here of course, the company golf retreat is this weekend." [["Ok, Greg."|Starting Block]] (set: $knife to false) (set: $pocket_sand to false) (set: $hr_approved to false) (set: $hr_name to false) (set: $affair to false) (set: $max_alive to true) (set: $proof to false)

"Hmm, I don't know. But I believe upper management are the only ones allowed to celebrate their birthday on company time." He says while rummaging through his desk, eventually producing the employee handbook. "Here we go! Yes, the employee handbook states that only upper management is allowed to celebrate their birth at the company." [["Thanks Max..."|Starting Block]]

"I'm great! Every day here at The Company Inc. is a great day!" He said a bit too enthusiastically, even for a new hire. New hires are expected to adopt a cult-like disposition of enthusiasm until their probationary period ends. [[Back to your cube.|Starting Block]]

[["I come with some bad news Stanley... I'd like to file a complaint against Greg."|Get Greg]]

"Oh thank you 427! I thought nobody noticed. No one showed up to breakroom during the company approved timeslot for all birthday celebration related activities." Well no sh*t they are between 5-7 AM, you think to yourself. "No problem! Anyways, I wanted to ask you... [[if I could file a complaint againts Greg!"|Get Greg]] [[if I could file a complaint againts Max!"|Max sucks]] (set: $hr_approved to true)

"I'd like to file a complaint against Greg." You said, a bit unsure of where you were going with this. "Oh really? What has Greg done that you would like to complain about?" Said Stanley suspiciously. If there is one thing Stanley was good at it was protecting the company from lawsuits, mainly from ones due to Greg's behavior. [["Greg, is making me work weekends again."|weekends]] (if: $knife is true)[ "Greg... he tried to stab me, with [[this knife!|Greg attacks]]" You explain in a hushed tone. ] (if: $hr_approved is true)[ "Greg has been selling company secrets to your competitor, The Business Inc." [[You lie]].]

"I'd like to report Max." you say. "You mean employee 586?" Said Stanley cautiously. You nod. Stanley gives you a worried look then starts typing furiously on his computer. After a few minutes, Stanley looks a little relieaved and almost at peace. [["Well, don't you want to ask me why I'm reporting him?"|he_ded]] [["Is it done?"|he_ded]]

"Stanley, looking a bit relieved, smiled slightly and with an air of condescendence explained, "Well, I'm sorry to say 427, but your contract, the one you agreed to, says we are allowed to ask you to come in on the weekends if deemed necessary. And it looks like Greg considers it essential." With that, Stanley leaned back in his chair, satisfied with himself at a job well done. [[Back to the Cube!|Starting Block]]

"This is a very serious accusation 427. Are you absolutely sure?" Stanley warned. "Yes. I'm sure of it." You lie, like the big liar you are. Stanley thinks for a moment then asks, "Well, I'll have to see some proof before I can take any action." (if: $proof is true)[] (if: $proof is false)[ [[You leave to go find proof.|Starting Block]] ]

At that moment Greg walks in and starts to ask Stanley a question but stops when he sees you holding the knife. [[You lunge at him wildly!|You attack]] [[You cower in fear! "He's come to finish the job!"|Play dead]]

"I've taken care of everything." Said Stanley, a bit //too// happy. "Alright then..." You say a little confused and worried. Stanley sits motionless, waiting for your next command. Like a robot, cold, emotionless, capable of horrific acts without an ounce of remorse. Just waiting to do your bidding without thought. He doesn't need to think. He's Stanley, he was born for this position, made even. A shiver runs down your spine as the realization of the sheer immensity of HR's power hits you. [["Well I should get back to work now..."|Starting Block]] (set: $max_alive to false)

You're caught mid-lie and in a panic you decide that the best course of action is to attack. Your eyes wander down to your desk finding a hand, //your hand// firmly grasping the knife you found in the breakroom. "427? Is everything alright?" Said Stanley a bit worried. You think back to when you were a child. Life was simple then, no paperwork, no Greg, just life. People would call you by your name, '$user_name.' You realize what you must now do to escape this hell. The knife plunges into Greg's neck showering the office with blood. Stanley screams and falls to the ground in a panic. It's over. All of it. Greg is gone and soon you will be taken away to live behind bars for the rest of your life. You wonder, was it worth it? Maybe there is another way? Too late to think about all that now...[[or is it?|Weekend Warrior]]

Greg looks at you, puzzled. Stanley walks over to you and takes away the knife. "What is happening 427... Stanley?" probed Greg. "No idea." Said Stanley staring at you. Stanley and Greg question you for the next hour, trying to figure out what you were thinking. In the end, they tell you to get back to your desk and finish those TPS reports. [[Back to the Cube!|Starting Block]] (set: $knife to false)