Chicken

You wake up from your slumber the screeching sounds of machines. [[Where]] am I? [[What]] am I? I don't want to be [[here]]

You aren't quite sure. Its a long, stretching place of concrete with large metal boxes flying on both sides. You must cross it. [[What]] am I? Alright, [[Onto]] the adventure

You seem to be a small creature that is feathered. Upon further examination, and the usage of the tiny brain you have, you recognize that you are a chicken. [[Where]] am I? [[Onto]] the streets

Well, congrats. you weren't supposed to go this way. You are stuck on the highway and you cant just jump off. Why? That'd be *way* too easy. Time to go back to [[Opening]], and please, don't come back anymore (if:visits is 2)[You're back? Please, seriously. Go home. Cross the god damn highway!] (if:visits is 3)[I'm getting fed up with your crap, bud. Follow the narration and let me narrate! Leave to the [[Opening]].] (if:visits is 4)[GO. BACK. NOW.] (if:visits >= 5)[Y'kow what? I'm done talking to you. Goodbye.] (after:600s)[Holy crap? You're still here? Jesus, I hate you. Fine leave. [[street]]]

Wowie, you actually found the secret ending of waiting 5 minutes at the start? Nice job, thats some big brain mixed with psychopath stuff. Kinda scared of u considering you would wait so long so easily. **You Win... I guess?**

Theres alot of cars, what do you want to do? I think that going to [[Run]] across the street. Fastest way to get across. [[Lets walk it out here]]. Slow and steady is definitely the way to go. For sure.

As you begin your panicked run across the street, you are hit by a car, and your vision goes [[black]]

Congrats, you continue on your way [[crossing]] the street. Great job, you'll make it there in another 100 years!

You wake up, realizing you aren't dead [[yet]]. You stand, and start to make your way across the street still. That was a really close call!

As you are walking, you don't see the super SUPER obvious [[truck!]] coming at you. I hope you can think fast!

[[duck]], you should be small enough to fit underneath the truck I think. [[dodge]], just move, into the next lane, this should be the obvious choice here. [[stop]]. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not entriely sure why you would ever pick this but alright, knock yourself out.

You duck under the car, but panick and run back to the [[Opening]]. Sucks to be you, you even started to get so far lol.

you dodge the truck, and start to walk again. Congrats! you've made it past the stupid truck, nothing can stop you, you're the best... wait what IS [[that??]]

As you stop, you look one last look into the grille of the oncoming beast. The next thing you know, you are being served at a KFC. Go back to the [[Opening]]

your vision goes black as you feel yourself starting to get picked up. What do you do? struggle to [[escape]]! The mafia can't stop me! [[give up]]. There is no escaping the mob.

you start wiggling to escape the grip. It's tight, but you feel like you can get out. [[kick]]

you hit something with your foot, and you feel yourself fall back to the street. you are now on the other side. only half way to [[go!]]

start running across the street! you hear the car skid to a stop and something get out! It [[snarls]] at you and you feels its heavy footsteps getting closer

You're a badass! "I can take this beast easily. " Turn to fight the [[beast]] Aw hell no! I want nothing to do with that mofo! Get me out of here! Keep [[running]].

you die. Did you really think you could win? Come on, you are *literally* a chicken. How the hell could you fight a monster. To the [[Opening]] for you!

A truck has stopped, right in your way too! There is too much traffic to turn around, or find another way. What to do? Chickens are known for their speed, you can easily make it [[around]] the truck in time. Definitely, right? Do some epic movie-grade [[slide]] underneath the truck, all dramatic like.

You start to run around the truck, you are almost there and... crap, the beast is there. What now, genius? We are almost across!! [[RUN]] FOR OUR LIVES!!! Look at the truck and reailze, its conventiently a truck carrying bazookas for Daves Bazooka stand. Buy 3 for a low price of 19.99! Grab a [[Bazooka]].

As you smoothly slide, definitely not stopping half way under the truck and having to scoot the rest of the way, you notice that the beast has also turned the corner. [[Run!]]

As you start running like a chicken with its head cut off (or soon to be), you realize the beast is almost caught up to you. But you are so close! What to do? [[dive]] the last few yards, and hope that you make it over. Don't worry what happens afterwards. [[keep running]], I mean you are like *super* close. You'll make it. Probably.

You make an abslutely epic dive towards the end of the street! But, you are only a chicken, and you had quite a ways to dive. You just jumped right into a car, nice job idiot. You died. Head to the [[Opening]]

As you continue to corss the street, you notice a van of sketchy mafia lookin dudes reaching to grab you. One [[grabs]] you and starts to pull you into the van.

You tie your P.F. flyer's, the fastest shoes around and run like hell. You continue to run from the beast as you hear in gain on you, but with one final leap, you get to the other [[side]]

You pull out two bazookas and aim one at the beast, as you shoot the bazooka at the beast... confetti shoots out. As you look to the side of the truck, you notice that is says Daves Bazooka AND Prank emporium. Damn, if only you could read. But you are a chicken.You best starting [[sprinting, boyo]]

As you run, with fire trails arcing behind you (P.F. Flyers are the fastest), with one final sick parkour vault, you fly over the partition, to the other side of the road! As you do so, the beast screeches and bursts into fireworks! **You have won!! congratulations!!**

As you are almost there, so so close! You feel the weight of a large (or at least large to you) weight land on you. Shortly after that, you feel nothing and your vision goes black. ~~The cat~~ I mean beast has taken your head off. You can feel your body cross over the street, but your head doesn't. Sad. Head to the [[Opening]]

Suddenly, your inner human Olympic sprinter comes out, and you start running like Usain Bolt, or a chicken with its head cut off. You feel your wings flapping, and the adrenaline rushing. Then the realization hits you. You just ran the wrong way. you are back at the [[Opening]]. Crap.

In front of you stands a [[man]]. He looks about to be the manliest man you have ever seen, hell even the cars swerve out of the way of him. He turns... my god its CHUCK NORRIS! He looks you dead in the eyes and says, "Listen little birdie, I can't let you pass."

Well damn, its Chuck freakin Norris. I can't really help you. What do you do? [[Walk past]] him, he won't actually stop you. Right? [[Punch]] Chuck Norris. ...Wait WHAT???

You give in, and later that day you are served at a Popeyes Louisianna Kitchen. you should have kept running, dork. Go to the [[Opening]]

As you try to walk past. You heaar him chuckle and say "Not so fast." As you look at him, he is carrying the [[biggest sword]] you have ***ever*** seen. Is this even possible?

As you go to punch Chuck Norris, your own wing swerves away from him and punches yourself in the face. You [[black]] out.

Well, you're certainly screwed now. It's time to [[d-d-d-d-duel!]] *pulls out katana to fight Norris* ACcept your [[fate]]

As you proceed to clash [[steel]] with Chuck, you know you are at a massive disadventage. I mean, the guy is pretty much the strongest person ever. You are going to have to beat him some other way.

As you stand there, Chuck Norris cleaves you in two. As sad as it is that you have died, you have managed to provide a living legend with a great meal. So you didn't lose *that* much. Head back to the [[Opening]]

**ROAD** By: Hans Schmid (Click the blue text to go to [[Opening]])

How do you think you are gonna be able to beat him? I can beat him with [[wits and smarts!]]. I'm in Mensa you know. I'll beat him with [[Blade Skill]]! I've been training in the Way of the Blade since birth!

As you try to reach for absract thought you realize that you are a chicken and you don't have such things. You immediately drop the Katana as reality sets you back to a normal chicken, and the Katana stabs you. You are dead, you need to go back to the [[Opening]]. Sorry, you were so close too!

You start to do some sick sword skills and spinning of your blade, but quickly realize you aren't actually hitting Chuck Norris with any of it. He quickly swipes you blade away and holds the blade to your [[throat]]

He looks at you, smiles and says "Wow! That was amazing. Here, I'll tell you wha. If you teach me those super sick skills, then I'll let you cross the road. Deal?" [[Deal]] of course! I'd love to teach Chuck Norris [[No Deal!]] You just tried to kill me, I hate you.

Chuck Norris grins with a grin brighter than the sun, literally. Every driver is blinded and immediately stops driving or crashes. He then looks back at you and says, "The way is clear, teach me those sick skills soon!" Walk across the street and say [["Thank you, Chuck Norris!"]]

As you say no, you see his face fall into a sad look, and he immediately cuts your head off without another word. You couldn't even react, its almost like [[fate]] that you were supposed to die.

Thank to the awe inspiring powers of Chuck Norris, You've managed to cross the street easily. Or easily enough. Great job! **You have won!!!**