Hi, my name is Barton Schanks, and my job is to make sure you return safely from your trip. Let's start with your age:
Please feel free to type it in using my patent-pending keypad:
[[Keypad]]
[["What trip?"]]
[[Just go with it]]
Well my curious pupil, I'm glad you asked.
I've spent years cooped up in a lab working on a very elaborate piece of machinery. For years I have studied this concept, this unexplored part of the scientific world. It took me years of studying and scientific research to get every component needed for this to work. I even worked a minimum wage 9-5 job at a pet store just to make enough money to keep up with my monthly rent. (Starts sobbing) I was hired as the pet cleaner for the dog kennel. But after years of putting up with that pointless occupation, my miserable life finally has a purpose. Now I can safely say that I've gathered and assembled all the materials I needed to fulfill my lifelong goal.
Sorry what was your question again?
[[What does your machine do?!]]
So you're not curious as to how I made the damn thing?
Like not even a little?
Ok.
To begin the experiement, I will simply need a strand of hair to collect as a DNA sample.
Now all <i> you </i>   need to do is step into the 4-person tent to your right.
[[Step into the tent]]
[[But <i> why </i>   though?? -> But why though??]]
(text-style: "smear")[This is where it all starts...
Click here to begin your surreal experience:]
[[Your Reality]]
Music accredited to: Presentable Liberty
Background accredited to: Giphy.com
The mechanical marvel that stands before you, is a dimensional spacetime distorionary callibrator with an electromagnetic photon propulsion system.
[[(Sarcastically) "OHHH OF COURSE!!"]]
[["In english please?"]]
[["Nevermind, let's just get over with it"]]
[[What do I do now?->Just do it already!!!]]
Because I (t8n: "pulse")[kindly] asked you to after you agreed to be part of this experiment.
Listen would you just step inside the tent please.
[[NO!!]]
[[Fine.]]
Alright then what are you even here for?!!
If you're not gonna help than you can make like a tree and leave!
[[Alright See ya later bruh.]]
Thank you, you wouldn't understand how much this means to me.
Trust me, everything is gonna be fine. And thanks again for not asking too many questions.
[[Yea BTDubbs what does this contraption do anyway?]]
[[Yea whatever, let's just get on with it.]]
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
Well I'm glad you asked...
[[Actually nevermind, I just realized that I didn't really care]]
[[Sorry give me a sec, I think I'm gonna... (ACHOO!!)]]
Alright this is great!!
You will not regret this.
[[Already kinda regretting it]]
[[YEA!(Sarcastically)]]
ALRIGHT! Just <b> PLEASE </b> get inside the tent.
[[Sure.]]
Ok, so as I was saying...
[[Can you please just SHUT UP]]
(Barton pulls out his phone)
The subject is aquired, bring in reinforcements and take them in.
(A few moments later the police arrive and handcuff you)
[[What did I do this time?]]
Great get, let's get started.
(Barton whistles very loudly, and two beastly looking dogs come out from behind his work station)
They're extra hungry today, I haven't feeden them all day.
(Barton begins laughing with a maniacal laugh)
ROSEBUD!!
(The dogs immediately run toward you and attack vigorously, you die soon after)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]Alright if you can hear me fine in there just wave through the opening of the tent.
(You wave)
Great, this will only take a second to load.
Alright, HERE... WE...(turns on the machine) GO...
(The machine explodes and you die.)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
Alright, you can leave your attitude at the door.
[[Alright Bye]]
Think of it as a machine that will allow you to travel through ,ultiple dimensions at will.
[[DAMN, I think that's the one thing you said that wasn't boring. Let's do it!!]]
May you please step into the tent sir.
(You step in)
Thank you very much. I'm about to start the machine.
[[Just do it already!!!]]
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
Ok. I just need you to step into that tent, and let me do the rest.
[[Okie Dokie]]
Three... Two... One... GO!!!
[[REALITY #1]]
(All of a sudden you don't hear a thing.)
[[Step out of the tent]]
[[Stay inside where its safe]]
(You see the same setup as before but no Barton Schanks.)
[[Get out of there immediately]]
[[Goof around with Barton's control panel]]
(The tent gets boiling hot and you jammed the zipper that opens the door flap.)
(You slowly suffocate and die in a matter of minutes)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
(Barton, turns down the temperature to below -20 degrees farenheight, and you slowly freeze to death)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
(Barton suddenly loses his temper completely and pulls out a gun)
Any last words you ignorant fool?!
[[Wh...What the hell is going on??!!]]
[[Just one, I hope you never accomplish anything in your life, including this worthless piece of junk.]]
I hope you have a safe trip into the afterlife!
(Barton shoots you straight through the left lung and its all your major arteries)
(You realize that your breathing is becoming more and more troubled by the second, and after a couple minutes you die)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
(You get shot three times and die)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say now, can and will be used against you in a court of law.
(You get arrested)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
(You step out of the garage to see a world similar to yours but you feel the outside tempurature slowly rising)
(Someone runs up to you)
Hey! Come with me, I could protect you!!
[[Protect me from what?!]]
(You press a button, and security soon shows up and takes you away)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
Haven't you heard, the biggest solar flare in the history of the world is about to take place, WE ALL HAVE TO TAKE COVER!
(You can now see the solar flare from afar)
(As you run behind your new aquaintance, you look behind you to see the flare approaching and rapidly increasing speeds)
[[HOW MUCH FURTHER!!]]
WE'RE ALMOST THER...
(The sun emmits a massive solar flare and killed both you and your new aquaintance)
[[END.->Parallel Reality]]
{
(set: $entry to "")
(set: $entryLength to 2)
}Please enter your age here:
<div class="entry">[__]<entry|</div>
<center><table>
<tr>
<td> (link-repeat: "1")[(display: "NumberOne")]</td>
<td> (link-repeat: "2")[(display: "NumberTwo")]</td>
<td> (link-repeat: "3")[(display: "NumberThree")]</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>(link-repeat: "4")[(display: "NumberFour")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "5")[(display: "NumberFive")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "6")[(display: "NumberSix")]</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>(link-repeat: "7")[(display: "NumberSeven")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "8")[(display: "NumberEight")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "9")[(display: "NumberNine")]</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>(link-repeat: "Clear")[(display: "Clear")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "0")[(display: "NumberZero")]</td>
<td>(link-repeat: "Enter")[(display: "Enter")]</td>
</tr>
</table>{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 1)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 2)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 3)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 4)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 5)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 6)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 7)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 8)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 9)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(if: $entry's length < $entryLength)[
(set: $entered to 0)
(set: $entry to it + (text: $entered))
(replace: ?entry)[$entry]
]
}{
(set: $entry to "")
(replace: ?entry)[__]
}{
(goto: "Thank You")
}
Thank you for your cooperation. My expirement will now be geared towards your age group.
[[Awesome->Your Reality]]