Magnificent seven: The chlorosulfolipid mytilipin A was synthesized in racemic form in seven steps and in enantioenriched form in eight steps. Key transformations include a highly diastereoselective bromoallylation of a sensitive α,β-dichloroaldehyde, a kinetic resolution of a vinyl epoxide, a convergent and highly Z-selective alkene cross-metathesis, and a chemoselective and diastereoselective dichlorination of a complex diene.