Metabolites give us a window into the chemistry of microbes and are split into two subclasses: primary and secondary. Primary metabolites are required for life whereas secondary metabolites have historically been classified as those appearing after exponential growth and are not necessarily needed for survival. Many microbial species are estimated to produce hundreds of metabolites and can be affected by differing nutrients. Using various analytical techniques, metabolites can be directly detected in order to elucidate their biological significance. Currently, a single experiment can produce anywhere from megabytes to terabytes of data. This big data has motivated scientists to develop informatics tools to help target specific metabolites or sets of metabolites. Broadly, it is imperative to identify clear biological questions before embarking on a study of metabolites (metabolomics). For instance, studying the effect of a transposon insertion on phenazine biosynthesis in Pseudomonas is a very different from asking what molecules are present in a specific banana-derived strain of Pseudomonas. This review is meant to serve as a primer for a 'choose your own adventure' approach for microbiologists with limited mass spectrometry expertise, with a strong focus on liquid chromatography mass spectrometry based workflows developed or optimized within the past five years.