There is an unmet demand for microfluidics in biomedicine. This paper describes contactless fabrication of microfluidic circuits on standard Petri dishes using just a dispensing needle, syringe pump, three-way traverse, cell-culture media, and an immiscible fluorocarbon (FC40). A submerged microjet of FC40 is projected through FC40 and media onto the bottom of a dish, where it washes media away to leave liquid fluorocarbon walls pinned to the substrate by interfacial forces. Such fluid walls can be built into almost any imaginable 2D circuit in minutes, which is exploited to clone cells in a way that beats the Poisson limit, subculture adherent cells, and feed arrays of cells continuously for a week. This general method should have wide application in biomedicine.