UC Santa Barbara

This mixed methods study explored how individuals learn about emotional and sexual intimacy, how individuals communicate about intimacy in their romantic relationships, and what socialization factors facilitate or impede sexual communication in relationships. Three theoretical frameworks – attachment theory, family communication patterns theory, and adverse childhood experiences – were used to quantitatively test how socialization factors affect individuals’ communication and satisfaction in current relationships. Romantic couples (N = 135 dyads) discussed emotional and sexual intimacy in their relationships during a recorded Zoom conversation and completed online surveys before and after the Zoom conversation. A subsample of original participants (n = 31) completed follow-up interviews that went more in depth about their socialization of intimacy and their perceptions of their relationship following the Zoom conversation. Multiple methods were used to analyze the data. Actor-partner interdependence structural equation modeling tested the hypothesized quantitative models. Attachment avoidance and anxiety had the strongest effect on participants’ current relational communication. However, both partners’ communicative responsiveness, fear of emotional intimacy, and general sexual communication affected each other’s relationship and sexual satisfaction, thus demonstrating the importance of dyadic analyses for interpersonal relationships. A phronetic iterative analysis (Tracy, 2020) was used to analyze the conversations and follow-up interviews for overarching themes. The qualitative analyses of both the conversation and interview data produced four themes: (a) Socialization of Intimacy, (b) Learning About Intimacy is a Continuous Process, (c) Intimacy Displays are Either Modeled or Compensated, and (d) Emotional and Sexual Intimacy Build Over Time. A fifth theme gleaned from the interview data, Conversation Served as an Intimacy Intervention, illuminated that the Zoom conversation functioned as a means for many couples to have subsequent intimacy conversations after participating in the study. The findings from this study have pragmatic implications for all couples, especially those who struggle with discussing intimacy. The findings from this study are also useful for clinicians who work with individuals and/or couples to better understand their communication and relationships by examining how their past experiences affect their current communication patterns.