UC San Diego

Growing up with cerebral palsy, I continually asked "Why am I like this? Why am I not normal?" I became an actor to be someone else, someone who did not have a disability. When I was onstage, I would pretend as though my left side was the same as my right.

　　In doing so, I denied the truth of my body. Mask work freed me of my ego and enabled me to look at my body free of judgment. When I put on the mask my attention shifted from mental to physical. When I saw from within, I noticed my left side had another octave to be played. I found a freedom and versatility, I could now play my entire being as an instrument. I started using my disability as an asset, rather than an obstacle. I found that my left hand wasn't a burden, but a unique tool in telling the stories of my characters.

　　Doing mask work in The Venetian Twins allowed me to construct characters who are incredibly physically specific using my instrument. I didn't shy away from using my left hand and foot. I embraced them as part of my body, built them into the composition of my characters. My three years at UC San Diego have shifted my relationship with my own body. Now I don't go on stage to deny myself, rather I inhabit myself. I allow myself to be seen.