UC San Diego

The play Dance Nation explores the ferocity, vulnerability, and discoveries of middle school students on a competitive dance team. After a feral dance under red strobes and a self-aggrandizing monologue where she grew impossibly tall and impossibly loud, one character, Ashlee, asks the audience, “What am I going to do with all this power?”While Ashlee struggles with how to embrace her beauty, intellect, and confidence, I struggled with how to use my authority as the stage manager of this production. I was afraid to use my voice, to speak directly and confidently, because I did not trust my collaborators to respect me. My fear of disappointing others prevented me from owning my authority and confidently leading my team. In order to overcome that fear, I leaned into the discomfort and worked on monitoring my tone of voice, avoiding upspeak, and using direct language. I realized that I had the power and ability to do my job well, regardless of how others felt, and I could do so with kindness to both the company and myself. As I practiced using my voice, I was able to trust my collaborators to listen to and support me. My fear slipped away, and my belief in myself grew. I prioritized meeting the community with compassion and used my authority with kindness. I confidently led Dance Nation to a triumphant run of performances with the knowledge that my use of my power had contributed to the development of a courageous process.