In academic and public discourse, safety is often equated with policing and state control. However, research consistently demonstrates the limitations of these associations, especially in their impact on diverse and marginalized communities. LGBTQ people and communities, for instance, regularly encounter violence both from the state and civilians, resulting in a pervasive atmosphere of violence. In response, spaces such as lesbian bars and LGBTQ events have emerged as homeplaces—environments dedicated to safety, resistance, and community-building, free from law enforcement presence. These spaces offer an opportunity to explore alternative approaches to safety, grounded in relational community building rather than control. This study employs ethnographic methods to unpack these alternative visions and resulting practices, drawing on the perspectives of employees, organizers, performers, and regular attendees at lesbian bars and LGBTQ pop-up events throughout Southern California. Through participant observations, interviews, and analyses of social media and other relevant documents, this research address three primary goals: (1) to explore how safety is understood by frequent participants in lesbian bars and LGBTQ events; (2) to examine the tensions between these conceptualizations of safety and the omnipresence of the state; and (3) to analyze how safety is practiced in response to these tensions. The findings reveal a significant gap between the conceptualization of safety, which I term “relational safety,” and its practical application. Relational safety, as envisioned by participants, emphasizes relationship-building, solidarity, and an active awareness of power dynamics—an approach that contrasts sharply with punitive, control-based models. Yet, implementing these ideals proves challenging as these spaces are hooked by capitalistic profit motives and constrained in a vast legal netting, which limit the possibility of fully realizing relational safety and shifts the focus from internal solidarity to accommodating external demands. This tension creates a dynamic interplay: on one hand, practices of securitization that mirrors punitive state approaches, and on the other, experimental forms of community care and coöperism grounded in the development of relationality. I conclude by discussing the implications of these findings, considering how they inform the transformation of everyday safety at both the local and structural levels more broadly.